The ABC Homeopathy Forum
Frustrated as usual...
It's not that I disbelieve in Homeopathy; it's that I'm utterly frustrated. I'm actually a bit on the frightened side of trying it out again; as that which I've tried before hasn't worked, and quite frankly, I don't know if I can handle another disappointment.I know I'm impatient. I won't even deny that. But I suspect my lack of success is because I have the wrong remedy. Here's where the real trouble starts: How the devil do you know which is the right one? I've spent more time with the materia medica over the past week than I have with my mother, and I can't say I'm not a little disheartened. I seem to fit everything. From Sulphur and Graphite to Staphysagrai and Kreosotum, I can't find one that fits me. I seem to cross over a hundred fifty different remedies, and just as I find one that has me saying, 'hello, that's me!' I realise that I'm fat and not thin and therefore it can't be me. Can someone give me a bit of direction here? I'm about to just give in and bite the bullet.
Yours Truly,
Anonymous 18th Century.
anon18thcentury on 2007-03-08
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Dear Anonymus:
Materia medica is very useful; repertory is very useful; true symptoms are very useful; empathy between the homeopath and patient is very useful; experienced homeopath is very useful.
Hence, you need all this thing to get a very effective treatment.
Only searching in the Mat.Med. hasn't good results ever.
If you need help about your complaints, please ask to us. We try to help you as better as we can.
Best regards
Andrés
Materia medica is very useful; repertory is very useful; true symptoms are very useful; empathy between the homeopath and patient is very useful; experienced homeopath is very useful.
Hence, you need all this thing to get a very effective treatment.
Only searching in the Mat.Med. hasn't good results ever.
If you need help about your complaints, please ask to us. We try to help you as better as we can.
Best regards
Andrés
andres last decade
I have horrible symptoms, most of which are embarrassing. I have skin troubles, especially behind my ears and in the folds of my skin, where there is much oozing and general nastiness.
My skin symptoms are only part of it, as I've been suffering horrible headaches lately and there has always been problems with constipation. I never had any of the skin problems until I turned 27, when I rolled my pickup. That night all hell broke loose and I went to the emergency room with these horrid patches and swellings all over. Look like I have bloody leprosy. They told me, get this, that I had wind burn. Then when they found out I'd not been in the wind they changed the story to my air bag hitting me, which was laughable because the truck was a 1985 so had no airbag, not to mention that the patches and such were all over my body, not just my face.
It seemed to me that they just wanted to give me a cream and make me go away. Since then I've been to numerous doctors and have been told it's eczema and I need to accept it. They have no compassion, and their only treatment has been steroids. They never spend more than 10 minutes talking to me and never ask any questions. I stopped going because even when I have a problem that isn't related to my skin, that's always what they want to harp on. I mean, I went in with bronchitis and the doctor told me I need to come to grips with my skin problem. I told her that wasn't what I was there for anyway, and she still went back to it.
It's frustrating because it isn't like I was going to the doctor every day or anything. I went for my skin three times in a year, which was when I needed more of my steroid cream, but they acted like I was there every day asking for morphine. I felt like they thought I was mental. It's crap the way they treated me, so I gave up. Then someone told me about homeopathy and I decided to try it out. The trouble is, there are no Homeopathic doctors around here and I couldn't afford them if there were. What can I do? I have a whole list of symptoms but no one to tell them to. It's not like I have much choice other than to figure it out on my own. I've nearly lost hope. I'm sick of living because of it. It keeps me from everything. When I have good days I go out, but any relief is short lived and then I'm stuck inside again. It feels like I just want to be inside away from everyone and never be bothered, but when I have a good day I'm able to deal well in society. It's not just pride because my skin's nasty. I can cope with that, but there is physical pain and fatigue involved. I get so tired I can hardly get out of bed. At the same time, I can't sleep and have pain all over while I'm laying there. It's very frustrating.
Please help if you can.
My skin symptoms are only part of it, as I've been suffering horrible headaches lately and there has always been problems with constipation. I never had any of the skin problems until I turned 27, when I rolled my pickup. That night all hell broke loose and I went to the emergency room with these horrid patches and swellings all over. Look like I have bloody leprosy. They told me, get this, that I had wind burn. Then when they found out I'd not been in the wind they changed the story to my air bag hitting me, which was laughable because the truck was a 1985 so had no airbag, not to mention that the patches and such were all over my body, not just my face.
It seemed to me that they just wanted to give me a cream and make me go away. Since then I've been to numerous doctors and have been told it's eczema and I need to accept it. They have no compassion, and their only treatment has been steroids. They never spend more than 10 minutes talking to me and never ask any questions. I stopped going because even when I have a problem that isn't related to my skin, that's always what they want to harp on. I mean, I went in with bronchitis and the doctor told me I need to come to grips with my skin problem. I told her that wasn't what I was there for anyway, and she still went back to it.
It's frustrating because it isn't like I was going to the doctor every day or anything. I went for my skin three times in a year, which was when I needed more of my steroid cream, but they acted like I was there every day asking for morphine. I felt like they thought I was mental. It's crap the way they treated me, so I gave up. Then someone told me about homeopathy and I decided to try it out. The trouble is, there are no Homeopathic doctors around here and I couldn't afford them if there were. What can I do? I have a whole list of symptoms but no one to tell them to. It's not like I have much choice other than to figure it out on my own. I've nearly lost hope. I'm sick of living because of it. It keeps me from everything. When I have good days I go out, but any relief is short lived and then I'm stuck inside again. It feels like I just want to be inside away from everyone and never be bothered, but when I have a good day I'm able to deal well in society. It's not just pride because my skin's nasty. I can cope with that, but there is physical pain and fatigue involved. I get so tired I can hardly get out of bed. At the same time, I can't sleep and have pain all over while I'm laying there. It's very frustrating.
Please help if you can.
anon18thcentury last decade
Dear Anonymus:
Steroids cream usually is the worst solution, because after first effect, it produces an aggravation and the surface of the affected skin is more and more wide.
Skin ailments are very frequent and very complicated too.
Please answer the following questions in a descriptive manner after careful analysis and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.
Patient ID:
Sex:
Age:
Nature of work: Habits:
1. Describe your main suffering?
2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?
3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?
4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.
5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
6. Which time of the day you are worst?
7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc.
8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.
- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
Weeping, talking to one self etc?
- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
15. Is there any kind of food which your body cant stand?
16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?
18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others?
21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
22. What major diseases are running in your family?
23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
(For Females)
24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.
25. Have you had another illnesses in you life? What and when (from past to present)
Best regards
Andrés
Steroids cream usually is the worst solution, because after first effect, it produces an aggravation and the surface of the affected skin is more and more wide.
Skin ailments are very frequent and very complicated too.
Please answer the following questions in a descriptive manner after careful analysis and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.
Patient ID:
Sex:
Age:
Nature of work: Habits:
1. Describe your main suffering?
2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?
3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?
4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.
5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
6. Which time of the day you are worst?
7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc.
8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.
- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
Weeping, talking to one self etc?
- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
15. Is there any kind of food which your body cant stand?
16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?
18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others?
21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
22. What major diseases are running in your family?
23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
(For Females)
24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.
25. Have you had another illnesses in you life? What and when (from past to present)
Best regards
Andrés
andres last decade
Sex: Female
Age: 31
Nature of work: Writer/Artist/Care giver
Habits:
I smoked from age 8 until 20. By age 20 I smoked 2 ½ packs a day. I also smoked Marijuana from age 10 until 21. I went through a period of regular drinking from age 25 until 26. I am typically a day sleeper, as I work better without distractions. I've never been a night sleeper; as a small child my mother had trouble getting me to go to bed. I recently gave up drinking coffee, which was a daily routine of at least 4 cups. I recently gave up Diet Cola (non-nutritive sweeteners) which was a daily routine of 2 2 litre bottles a day. I had my symptoms before I started drinking the coffee and the soda, though when I was younger I was a heavy cola drinker. I never drank coffee before the age of 28. I drink a great deal of black tea, that is to say, English Breakfast and Earl Grey. I was told these teas would not interfere with homeopathy, and they keep me from getting caffeine withdraw headaches. I eat mainly meat and green vegetables; as I'm sensitive to almost everything else, and, though I've had periods of regular exercise, my lifestyle is typically sedentary. I am not currently on any medications.
1. Describe your main suffering.
I have several serious issues. The one that most effects my daily functioning is my skin affliction. My body is covered in erythema like rash with the characteristic butterfly rash of Lupus but all blood work has been negative. Anywhere that skin touches skin there is an angry redness with weeping. Behind my ears I have weeping, exfoliating dermatitis that cracks and bleeds. The patches above my ears on my scalp will go scarlet and throbbing, and they have lost hair almost to the point of baldness. The oozing behind my ears is so bad that the hair mats, sticking to the head, and the fluid smells like, at least it does to me, cigarette smoke. The hair line above my forehead is dry, flaking, and losing hair. The occipital area of my scalp is heavily patched and flaking. My navel is oozing a thick, cream-like substance that is akin to heavy milk fat. My hands are extremely sensitive to water, detergent, chlorine, chemicals. My nipples have a discharge that has been disregarded by my doctor as eczematic. The inside of my nose is cracked and bleeds. The skin on my face is pale with red angry patches of raw, cracked, flaking, and roughened skin. My eyes swell down into my cheeks and up into my eyebrows. There is no lachrymation, and they feel as if there is sand or as if there are many eyelashes caught on the inside. On good days, I have a white powdery flaking of the skin above and below my eyes, above and below my lips, and around the wing of my nose. My skin on a good day is discoloured a dingy grey around the eyes and across the saddle of the nose, while the rest of my face is pale with white lips.
2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?
I suffer great fatigue, weakness, and a lack of stamina. I have great pain. I have been diagnosed with degenerative disc, scoliosis, and stenosis in the lumbar/sacral vertebrate. I have pain in my hips, more right than left, but basically bilateral. My toes are red and swollen, and they can be aggravated by almost anything, including temperature, humidity, or food choices. My feet are at times so tender that if I even brush my toe against something it will burn for five to ten minutes afterward. My feet are almost universally cold, but if my bed is warm enough, and my feet become warm, they become unbearably warm. If I uncover them even for a few minutes they will be like ice again, and I won't be able to sleep. The saddle joints in my thumbs hurt and swell depending on the weather, and if I send a single text message of even just a few lines, they will swell for the entire following day. I have headaches, worse recently, but they are usually masked by my other pain. They aren't severe enough for me to notice most of the time, but on occasion, they can be horrible. When I climb stairs or engage in exercise, I have a whooshing pulse that fills my body, and feels like every eighth beat is delayed or stopped and has to force itself to restart. My muscles burn, my head goes numb, and I feel as though I would faint. My eyes go dim and my ears fill with a roaring sound that starts up the back of my head. This also happens when I sit up from laying on my side, either side, when I stand from sitting, or when I stand from lying on my back. I am also chronically hungry. I can eat until I'm going to burst and I'm still hungry. I don't know if this is a mental symptom or a physical one, but I am an insatiable eater. I also have cravings for all the foods I can't have. I am very good about not giving in, but I'm not perfect at it yet. I also have major problems with constipation and serious bloating/swelling during and after eating. Then, I never really stop eating, so I can't say if I'm ever not bloated. I also get a sour/salty taste in my mouth when I wake up, and a metalic taste sometimes. I don't really get the urge to pee, but when I do, there's a lot of it. When my mum and I are in a public restroom together, she'll laugh because she'll have been done for three minutes, and I'll still be peeing. I have peed so much, and with such force, that it has actually caused the toilet to semi-flush itself. Sounds odd, but you did ask for physical symptoms, and that's something that's odd if nothing else.
3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?
I suffer severe depression with suicidal ideation, self-loathing, aversion to company yet feeling abandoned when others don't call. I hate myself and everything about me. I dwell on every rotten thing I've ever done or said, and I discount any good I've done or accomplished. I have suffered depression since I was a child, and I can't recall a time in my life that I didn't wish I were someone else. I have had major identity crisis and have overcome it. There was a time when I could look in the mirror and I looked like someone familiar, but I didn't want to believe it was me. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and CSAAS. I have to force myself to keep my head in reality. I am prone to daydream, but they are usually more like waking nightmares. I have a morbid fear of being raped and not murdered afterward. I am extremely introverted, which is not how I've always been. I have episodes where I feel as though people can see into my heart and read all the evil things I've ever did. I feel exposed, humiliated, and worthless, and I have to remove myself from the room. I can be in a room full of people who are all fixed on one subject, i.e. a play or at a lecture, and I will still feel this way. When I have a job, my fear of being fired will make me so ill that I can't work, and eventually I have to either quit or I am fired for absenteeism. I have no genuine phobias, only undermining fears. I can forgive almost anything without a hint of rancour, unless I'm the perpetrator of the wrong. There are very few people I have resentment against. I just don't carry much externally motivated resentment. I have never had hallucination, but I hate having my back to a door. I can be the only person in the house, and I'll be fine until I try to sit down at my desk, which faces a wall with my back to the door. I become fearful and tense, always listening for an intruder. Any noise will make me jump, and my heart will palpitate. I carry pepper spray with me from room to room when I am at home alone. I will even shower with it. I hate showering, I do it, but I hate it. I think it's because I have to get undressed, and I can't bear to be naked. I'd shower in my clothes if I could. With my level of paranoia, one would expect me to hold stereotypes, but I don't become fearful from any one group of people over another, nor do I get fearful being in certain areas after dark. I don't have a lot of fear that way. I can walk at night, and I do carry my pepper spray, but I don't have a great deal of panic. I'm more affected by the panic when I'm in my home or in a building. I sometimes fear that there are apparitions or ghosts; but I don't believe in the immortal spirit, nor does anyone in my family practise spiritism, so I know it's not a reasonable fear. I can typically talk myself out of it. In fact, I can usually think my way out of any of these situations. It just takes a good deal of effort, and the effort is exhausting.
Most of my mental disposition has been imposed or learnt, and though it wouldn't sound it from reading this, I deal quite well with it. My mental health keeps me from functioning at full level, but it isn't what keeps me from functioning. And I'm not medicated, which has astounded quite a few psychologists, and has many medical doctors discrediting me, because they can't believe that a person who has my issues can function without medication. I'm very good with psychology and understanding people, myself included, which helps me greatly.
4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.
If I had to describe how I felt in a blanket statement, I would say, I should die, but for whatever reason, my body won't give out. Honestly, at my worst, I want my body to give out. I will wake up angry that I'm still alive. I feel like that film Groundhog Day, where everyday is the same and I just want it to end. My skin burns, itches, and has searing pain. Burning is typical. My fatigue level keeps me in bed for sometimes 20 hours at a time, but even then I have to get up often and move because of the pain in my lower back, hips, knees, and feet. When I rise I have numbness in my head when I stand and I feel like I'll faint or like my heart will stop, and occasionally this is accompanied by nausea. My vision fades, and I get flecks or gold specks in my eyes. Then the roaring in my ears and after that stops there's all of these different whines, different pitches, they come together in my ears and form this horrid ringing. It all fades within a minute, leaving me dizzy, sometimes with a throbbing headache, but able to move. I can't explain any better than I already have.
5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
This is where I get confused. Many of my symptoms are deep-seated from infancy. My sleeplessness and hyperactivity have always been there. My identity problems started very young. My father was abusive to my mother, my mother was inattentive, and I was molested by a neighbour for quite some time all of this by the age of four. The abuses in my life were many, I won't go into them, but they were. I began abusing drugs at a young age, and I was exposed to things that no one should be exposed to all before the age of 11. I have adrenal problems, also and they have taken their toll over the years. My skin problem, however, began when I lost weight. I lost 180+ pounds over the course of a year and a half. I then developed multiple food sensitivities, and before long I reacted to almost everything. Not it seems that I never stop reacting. I used to get a break, but now I just get days that are marginally better than the bad. The trouble with this is that even after I lost the weight, I didn't have all these problems right away. They all came on suddenly. Within an hour I was covered from head to foot with these patches, and things have deteriorated since. That was after I rolled the truck.
6. Which time of the day you are worst?
I couldn't say, because I have no concept of evening/morning. I sleep when I sleep and I wake when I wake. I'm usually in bed by 6am, but for the past two days I've been waking up at 5am because I've gone to bed early. Funny thing is, I always look at the clock. I'm obsessed with the times that things happen. If I hear gunshots, I count them and look straight to the clock. If I hear people talking outside, I look at the clock. If I roll over in bed, I look at the clock. I know what time I fall asleep every day, because I look at the clock every ten minutes until I fall asleep. I have a keen perception of time, but I don't have a morning afternoon or evening, because what is breakfast to me is often dinner or supper to someone else. Then, I can say that my skin is typically worse upon waking. At least, my eyes are. The rest of me stays pretty well static. One last thing about the time: Even when I have no need to look at the clock, my eyes are drawn to it at the 44th minute of the hour. The most common times this occurs are 2:44 and 12:44, but if I'm going to glance at the clock at any given hour, it's usually the 44th minute. That has always puzzled me.
7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc.
Aggravation occurs when I eat or when I shower or when I'm warm or when I'm cold. Oddly, I also feel better after I've showered and have moisturised. And it's much better now that I have well water rather than the heavily chlorinated city water. When I itch, if I scratch it will burn, but after the burning, the itching typically stops. I'm all around temperature sensitive. If I get overly warm with humidity I'm miserable; if I get overly cool with either damp or dry I'm miserable, but more so in the damp for the joint pain, and more so in the dry for the skin. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I feel good in hot, dry weather. I avoid tight clothing.
8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
I do think my fatigue is worse when I'm on my period, but I can't say the whole thing is. I used to be sure there was a connection, but I can't say anymore.
9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
As I said before, hot dry is the best, cold damp or cold dry is the worst depending on the symptom.
10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.
I have been told that I am the least judgemental, most agreeable, and least offendable person that some people have ever met. That is because I work very hard to be so. I used to be very thin-skinned and critical and generally contrary, but I've grown up since then, and I've learnt a lot about people and what makes them tick, and I think that's changed my disposition greatly. I do argue, I do get on people's nerves, I can be moody, nervous, and even at times arrogant. But over all, and I'm going on what others have told me, I'm pretty stable. I know it doesn't sound like it from all of my mental stuff, but I cope with it all well, and it helps me understand others and deal with people how I want to be dealt with. I'm of a very empathetic nature. Though, some might think I'm lazy, because I have about this much motivation. I have written and never published; I have painted and never sold; I start many things and finish few; I lack confidence in my work, and fear rejection.
I am extremely suspicious and cautious in my nature, but I am also a very perceptive judge of character. I can pick a liar out of a crowd just by watching his body language. From adolescence on I have not been successfully deceived. People come to me to ask about their disturbing dreams and about things that bother them about themselves. I am looked on by many as a wise person with much compassion and experience.
How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
I love thunderstorms. I'm not frightful of them unless they are threatening severe weather. Tornado, straight line winds, things that a person should be nervy of. I don't feel better or worse physically, though mentally it is exhilarating. The aftermath of a thunderstorm, depending on whether or not it has cooled the air and released the humidity on a hot day or has just made it colder and damper on a cold day, will either make me desirous of a brisk walk or desirous of going to bed.
Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
When it's my deepest depression, I am generally better if left alone, because consolation only drives me in deeper. I will at times become angry when someone tries to console me. I don't want to be seen or acknowledged most of the time, because my heart interprets it as pity, which, in turn, makes me feel weak. I become bitter when people try to console me. At the same time, when it's over and things are better, I will sometimes feel abandoned because no one came to my aid. I tend to drive people away when I'm distressed, but somewhere inside I want someone to force their way in and make me see that they care and that things will be okay. Trouble is, if they try to do this, I'm liable to attack them. I haven't that I'm aware of, but that's how it feels, so I normally tell people I'm foul and should be left alone. I don't want them to try to make me happy, but because in the back of my heart somewhere I wish they would, I feel left behind or uncared for. Fortunately, I do get over it quickly, because I know that I'm absolutely retched to be around when I'm down, and I really do fear lashing out and damaging a valuable relationship.
As for my physical times, there is no consolation. I'm past that. It never worked anyway. I'm just grateful for the little things, like letting me sleep when I finally get to sleep, or cooking dinner so I don't have to, or not asking me to work any miracles in the way of house keeping or grocery shopping. The best consolation for me is knowing that my family and friends don't hold it against me, and they are all aware of that.
Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
My vision is steadily getting worse. I have always had trouble with astigmatism. I am growing sensitive to light and glare, and I find that I am having a hard time seeing at night.
I am extremely sound sensitive, so that I wear ear plugs about 90% of the time. I only remove them when I shower, when I'm on the phone (and then only the ear to which I'm holding the receiver), if someone asks me to remove them while we are speaking, or when I leave the house. I can't stand to sit in the same room with someone who is eating. I don't care what they are eating, I can't stand to hear them chew. I can hardly stand to hear myself chewing, and have even gone without food to avoid listening to it. Clocks ticking will put me in a foul mood if I don't remove myself from them. The vibrations from heavy bass makes me angry from the centre of power. I love music, but it must be either extremely complicated and intricate or highly emotional. I have perfect pitch, so if I try to use white noise to block out sound, my ear will eventually settle on one pitch and it will make me crazy. I can't stand the sound of a fan that is too close to, and facing, a wall. I love the sound of my diesel truck.
Smells don't readily effect me. I can handle quite bad smells without gagging or really reacting. It has to be extreme.
Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
Weeping, talking to one self etc?
Gave up nail-biting when I was 19-20. I was bad at it for a long time, but I wanted long nails, and so I worked really hard to break the habit. I occasionally talk out loud to myself, but usually just single sentence things like questions or censures when I've made a mistake. Something like: 'What were you thinking when you did that?' or 'Why don't you stop, slow down, and look it over before you mess it up and regret it.' I don't think it's a projectionist statement to say most people do that, but I think it's on the common side of strange. ::grin:: Other than that, I can't think of anything. Oh, the clock thing. I'm forever looking at the time. And if I look at it for no other reason than I feel like I need to look at the clock, it's inevitably the 44th minute on the hour.
How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
My biological family is a wash. I am on speaking terms with my father and my mother, but my resentment keeps me from getting too close to my mother, and my I have to treat my father like a child in order to have any kind of relationship with him. The minute I let up on my standards he goes into his 'pity me' forever the victim, negativity fest. I have to work at that relationship. I love my half brother, but he's at a very selfish and distant age. I have an adopted family that I adore. I don't have many friends, but those I do have I love. I don't do much with my friends, but they are understanding of my limits.
11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
I have a fear of being raped and not murdered afterward. That sounds confusing, but if I am ever raped, I want to be murdered so I don't have to live through it. I've had enough trauma. I don't need anymore. I dream of being perused by someone for the purpose of rape, but they never have a weapon so I know they have no intention of killing me. I am very interested in dream analysis, so most of my dreams are carefully scrutinised upon waking. This is the recurring dream that is themed to my fears. I used to be very panicky when I went out at night, even if just to the grocery store, but when I finally realised why I kept having this dream, I learnt what the fear was, and was able to control my panic. Other than that my dreams are all random nightmares. I can't go into detail, because they are very personal, and the most important one is the one which has been recurring for years.
12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
I will salivate at the smell of bread, but if I eat even two slices I will gain disproportionate amounts of weight. I have been known to gain as much as 10 pounds in one day from eating no more than 6 pieces of my mum's homemade bread. It's water weight, obviously, but it takes days to get rid of, and if I eat more than a few pieces, I can't wear my clothes for a week or more. I also love dairy, but react badly. I crave salt and eat it freely. If I don't eat salt, some of my symptoms, fatigue and mood changes, will worsen. I crave sugary foods, but they make me more ill than bread. My fatigue is increased with any sugar/starch, including starchy vegetables. I have no true food aversions that spring to mind, which is sad, because I do have aversions to how I react to certain foods, and these foods are the very foods I crave.
13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
It's hard to say. I don't have much thirst, but I don't think I ever have. I force myself to drink, because I know I need to. Other than that I drink only things that serve a purpose, like tea with caffeine or lemon water to take the swelling out of my tissues.
14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
I'm forever seeking something to eat. I probably eat less than most people would think, because I'm always hungry and looking for food. Though, I can't eat out; and I can't eat junk, so I have to prepare everything that I eat. This helps me keep from non-stop eating, because I have no desire to cook all the time. When I'm in a seeking state I usually just eat salad, or I'll look but eat nothing. I'm forever hungry, even when I'm full, but I'm not as heavy an eater as I seem.
15. Is there any kind of food which your body cant stand?
Sugar, starch, pork, beef, tomato with garlic and onion (one or the other, not both), eggs, dairy, anything yeasty (beer), wine, liquor, inorganic citrus, most fruits, nuts, peppers, and pretty much anything other than leafy greens and chicken or fish. Everything breaks me out. Sucks to be me.
16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
I don't sweat. I can't remember the last time I sweat.
17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?
I don't go like I should. If I don't use stool softeners or fiber mixtures I will eventually not be able to go at all. Hard and knotty, dark, and scanty. That about sums it up. Occasionally I'll get the feeling that I'll have to go really bad, but there's nothing ever worth the hassle.
18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
I have an erratic and unpredictable sleep pattern. I am of the 'I don't want to go to bed! You can't make me!' school of thought. I don't go to bed unless I'm delirious with tired. My favourite posture is on my left side. I can't always go to sleep on my left side; because I have to be facing the door to go to sleep, but I almost always wake up on my left side.
19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
I don't really have sexual desires. I wouldn't call it that. Maybe impulses, but not desires. I have no genuine desire for sex, and the idea of marriage will literally make me shudder. I have no specific attraction to any one sex, but I have a great appreciation for beauty. I think my sexual impulses, usually in fleeting thoughts, are more related to creativity than they are anything else. I don't have the overwhelming urge to go out and find a partner. I rather like being single. Not that I'm made of stone, but sexual matters aren't, to my waking knowledge, a problem. Nor do I have overly amorous dreams.
20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others?
I'm not that different from others. I think I have my fair share of issues, and I have my fair share of problems, just as everyone else does. But the thing that I have that is not as common in others as it is in me is my susceptibility to fantasy. I have to be careful of what programs I watch on TV and what things I write or read. I can easily lose myself in a character and have to force myself to snap back to reality. I can also become almost obsessively fond of a piece of music or a particular book or film. I can memorise much of the film and watch it over again in my head. I am a wealth of worthless quotes and images from books, TV, and films. Maybe that isn't so different from others, but I kind of think I'm at a more severe degree than most.
21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
I had topical steroids for quite some time, but they have a rebound effect that makes the use of them undesirable. Other than that, nothing other than herbal nutrients and supplements.
22. What major diseases are running in your family?
Diabetes, heart disease, and whether it's a major disease or not, mega colon.
23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
I'm tall, nearing six feet, and I weigh between 185 and 200, depending on what I ate the week before weighing. I have a generally well proportioned, athletic build, with very thick, dense, muscles and thick, dense bones. I should be the picture of health, but my skin is problematic, and for all the strength I possess, I have such a level of fatigue, that I can't readily use it.
(For Females)
24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.
One week before my period I have a day or two of severe depression. I'm always severely depressed, but if I ever committed suicide, it'd be a week before my period. After a couple of days the clouds lift and I'm back to my usual state. I'm very black and melancholy on the outside during this time, as it gets so bad I'm no longer able to hide it from others.
My periods are early rather than late, heavy, foul, clotted, and black. They last longer rather than shorter, and they go heavy 2 days, stop, then heavy for 2 more days, then light for 2 or 3 days. Gotta love being me.
25. Have you had another illnesses in you life? What and when (from past to present)
Yep. I had my period for nearly 3 years at one point. No break in the bleeding. It would slow down, but wouldn't stop. I got up to 350+ pounds and was bed ridden from fatigue, but never to worry, the doctors assured me it was all in my head. Other than that, there was the time I got the flu so bad that I missed two weeks of school, but my loving Grandmother (one of the few people I harbour resentment for) wouldn't take me to the doctor until the school threatened to send truant officers out. I've never had the flu since. The same thing happened with strep throat the following year. I was seriously dehydrated and my throat was torn up and bleeding from the coughing, but she didn't take me to the doctor until the school called. I've never had strep since, either. I always thought that was interesting, because everyone in the house would be sick and puking, and I'd be cleaning up the puke and everything, but I never got sick myself. Totally unfair!
That's my history.
Anonymous 18th Century.
Age: 31
Nature of work: Writer/Artist/Care giver
Habits:
I smoked from age 8 until 20. By age 20 I smoked 2 ½ packs a day. I also smoked Marijuana from age 10 until 21. I went through a period of regular drinking from age 25 until 26. I am typically a day sleeper, as I work better without distractions. I've never been a night sleeper; as a small child my mother had trouble getting me to go to bed. I recently gave up drinking coffee, which was a daily routine of at least 4 cups. I recently gave up Diet Cola (non-nutritive sweeteners) which was a daily routine of 2 2 litre bottles a day. I had my symptoms before I started drinking the coffee and the soda, though when I was younger I was a heavy cola drinker. I never drank coffee before the age of 28. I drink a great deal of black tea, that is to say, English Breakfast and Earl Grey. I was told these teas would not interfere with homeopathy, and they keep me from getting caffeine withdraw headaches. I eat mainly meat and green vegetables; as I'm sensitive to almost everything else, and, though I've had periods of regular exercise, my lifestyle is typically sedentary. I am not currently on any medications.
1. Describe your main suffering.
I have several serious issues. The one that most effects my daily functioning is my skin affliction. My body is covered in erythema like rash with the characteristic butterfly rash of Lupus but all blood work has been negative. Anywhere that skin touches skin there is an angry redness with weeping. Behind my ears I have weeping, exfoliating dermatitis that cracks and bleeds. The patches above my ears on my scalp will go scarlet and throbbing, and they have lost hair almost to the point of baldness. The oozing behind my ears is so bad that the hair mats, sticking to the head, and the fluid smells like, at least it does to me, cigarette smoke. The hair line above my forehead is dry, flaking, and losing hair. The occipital area of my scalp is heavily patched and flaking. My navel is oozing a thick, cream-like substance that is akin to heavy milk fat. My hands are extremely sensitive to water, detergent, chlorine, chemicals. My nipples have a discharge that has been disregarded by my doctor as eczematic. The inside of my nose is cracked and bleeds. The skin on my face is pale with red angry patches of raw, cracked, flaking, and roughened skin. My eyes swell down into my cheeks and up into my eyebrows. There is no lachrymation, and they feel as if there is sand or as if there are many eyelashes caught on the inside. On good days, I have a white powdery flaking of the skin above and below my eyes, above and below my lips, and around the wing of my nose. My skin on a good day is discoloured a dingy grey around the eyes and across the saddle of the nose, while the rest of my face is pale with white lips.
2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?
I suffer great fatigue, weakness, and a lack of stamina. I have great pain. I have been diagnosed with degenerative disc, scoliosis, and stenosis in the lumbar/sacral vertebrate. I have pain in my hips, more right than left, but basically bilateral. My toes are red and swollen, and they can be aggravated by almost anything, including temperature, humidity, or food choices. My feet are at times so tender that if I even brush my toe against something it will burn for five to ten minutes afterward. My feet are almost universally cold, but if my bed is warm enough, and my feet become warm, they become unbearably warm. If I uncover them even for a few minutes they will be like ice again, and I won't be able to sleep. The saddle joints in my thumbs hurt and swell depending on the weather, and if I send a single text message of even just a few lines, they will swell for the entire following day. I have headaches, worse recently, but they are usually masked by my other pain. They aren't severe enough for me to notice most of the time, but on occasion, they can be horrible. When I climb stairs or engage in exercise, I have a whooshing pulse that fills my body, and feels like every eighth beat is delayed or stopped and has to force itself to restart. My muscles burn, my head goes numb, and I feel as though I would faint. My eyes go dim and my ears fill with a roaring sound that starts up the back of my head. This also happens when I sit up from laying on my side, either side, when I stand from sitting, or when I stand from lying on my back. I am also chronically hungry. I can eat until I'm going to burst and I'm still hungry. I don't know if this is a mental symptom or a physical one, but I am an insatiable eater. I also have cravings for all the foods I can't have. I am very good about not giving in, but I'm not perfect at it yet. I also have major problems with constipation and serious bloating/swelling during and after eating. Then, I never really stop eating, so I can't say if I'm ever not bloated. I also get a sour/salty taste in my mouth when I wake up, and a metalic taste sometimes. I don't really get the urge to pee, but when I do, there's a lot of it. When my mum and I are in a public restroom together, she'll laugh because she'll have been done for three minutes, and I'll still be peeing. I have peed so much, and with such force, that it has actually caused the toilet to semi-flush itself. Sounds odd, but you did ask for physical symptoms, and that's something that's odd if nothing else.
3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?
I suffer severe depression with suicidal ideation, self-loathing, aversion to company yet feeling abandoned when others don't call. I hate myself and everything about me. I dwell on every rotten thing I've ever done or said, and I discount any good I've done or accomplished. I have suffered depression since I was a child, and I can't recall a time in my life that I didn't wish I were someone else. I have had major identity crisis and have overcome it. There was a time when I could look in the mirror and I looked like someone familiar, but I didn't want to believe it was me. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and CSAAS. I have to force myself to keep my head in reality. I am prone to daydream, but they are usually more like waking nightmares. I have a morbid fear of being raped and not murdered afterward. I am extremely introverted, which is not how I've always been. I have episodes where I feel as though people can see into my heart and read all the evil things I've ever did. I feel exposed, humiliated, and worthless, and I have to remove myself from the room. I can be in a room full of people who are all fixed on one subject, i.e. a play or at a lecture, and I will still feel this way. When I have a job, my fear of being fired will make me so ill that I can't work, and eventually I have to either quit or I am fired for absenteeism. I have no genuine phobias, only undermining fears. I can forgive almost anything without a hint of rancour, unless I'm the perpetrator of the wrong. There are very few people I have resentment against. I just don't carry much externally motivated resentment. I have never had hallucination, but I hate having my back to a door. I can be the only person in the house, and I'll be fine until I try to sit down at my desk, which faces a wall with my back to the door. I become fearful and tense, always listening for an intruder. Any noise will make me jump, and my heart will palpitate. I carry pepper spray with me from room to room when I am at home alone. I will even shower with it. I hate showering, I do it, but I hate it. I think it's because I have to get undressed, and I can't bear to be naked. I'd shower in my clothes if I could. With my level of paranoia, one would expect me to hold stereotypes, but I don't become fearful from any one group of people over another, nor do I get fearful being in certain areas after dark. I don't have a lot of fear that way. I can walk at night, and I do carry my pepper spray, but I don't have a great deal of panic. I'm more affected by the panic when I'm in my home or in a building. I sometimes fear that there are apparitions or ghosts; but I don't believe in the immortal spirit, nor does anyone in my family practise spiritism, so I know it's not a reasonable fear. I can typically talk myself out of it. In fact, I can usually think my way out of any of these situations. It just takes a good deal of effort, and the effort is exhausting.
Most of my mental disposition has been imposed or learnt, and though it wouldn't sound it from reading this, I deal quite well with it. My mental health keeps me from functioning at full level, but it isn't what keeps me from functioning. And I'm not medicated, which has astounded quite a few psychologists, and has many medical doctors discrediting me, because they can't believe that a person who has my issues can function without medication. I'm very good with psychology and understanding people, myself included, which helps me greatly.
4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.
If I had to describe how I felt in a blanket statement, I would say, I should die, but for whatever reason, my body won't give out. Honestly, at my worst, I want my body to give out. I will wake up angry that I'm still alive. I feel like that film Groundhog Day, where everyday is the same and I just want it to end. My skin burns, itches, and has searing pain. Burning is typical. My fatigue level keeps me in bed for sometimes 20 hours at a time, but even then I have to get up often and move because of the pain in my lower back, hips, knees, and feet. When I rise I have numbness in my head when I stand and I feel like I'll faint or like my heart will stop, and occasionally this is accompanied by nausea. My vision fades, and I get flecks or gold specks in my eyes. Then the roaring in my ears and after that stops there's all of these different whines, different pitches, they come together in my ears and form this horrid ringing. It all fades within a minute, leaving me dizzy, sometimes with a throbbing headache, but able to move. I can't explain any better than I already have.
5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
This is where I get confused. Many of my symptoms are deep-seated from infancy. My sleeplessness and hyperactivity have always been there. My identity problems started very young. My father was abusive to my mother, my mother was inattentive, and I was molested by a neighbour for quite some time all of this by the age of four. The abuses in my life were many, I won't go into them, but they were. I began abusing drugs at a young age, and I was exposed to things that no one should be exposed to all before the age of 11. I have adrenal problems, also and they have taken their toll over the years. My skin problem, however, began when I lost weight. I lost 180+ pounds over the course of a year and a half. I then developed multiple food sensitivities, and before long I reacted to almost everything. Not it seems that I never stop reacting. I used to get a break, but now I just get days that are marginally better than the bad. The trouble with this is that even after I lost the weight, I didn't have all these problems right away. They all came on suddenly. Within an hour I was covered from head to foot with these patches, and things have deteriorated since. That was after I rolled the truck.
6. Which time of the day you are worst?
I couldn't say, because I have no concept of evening/morning. I sleep when I sleep and I wake when I wake. I'm usually in bed by 6am, but for the past two days I've been waking up at 5am because I've gone to bed early. Funny thing is, I always look at the clock. I'm obsessed with the times that things happen. If I hear gunshots, I count them and look straight to the clock. If I hear people talking outside, I look at the clock. If I roll over in bed, I look at the clock. I know what time I fall asleep every day, because I look at the clock every ten minutes until I fall asleep. I have a keen perception of time, but I don't have a morning afternoon or evening, because what is breakfast to me is often dinner or supper to someone else. Then, I can say that my skin is typically worse upon waking. At least, my eyes are. The rest of me stays pretty well static. One last thing about the time: Even when I have no need to look at the clock, my eyes are drawn to it at the 44th minute of the hour. The most common times this occurs are 2:44 and 12:44, but if I'm going to glance at the clock at any given hour, it's usually the 44th minute. That has always puzzled me.
7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc.
Aggravation occurs when I eat or when I shower or when I'm warm or when I'm cold. Oddly, I also feel better after I've showered and have moisturised. And it's much better now that I have well water rather than the heavily chlorinated city water. When I itch, if I scratch it will burn, but after the burning, the itching typically stops. I'm all around temperature sensitive. If I get overly warm with humidity I'm miserable; if I get overly cool with either damp or dry I'm miserable, but more so in the damp for the joint pain, and more so in the dry for the skin. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I feel good in hot, dry weather. I avoid tight clothing.
8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
I do think my fatigue is worse when I'm on my period, but I can't say the whole thing is. I used to be sure there was a connection, but I can't say anymore.
9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
As I said before, hot dry is the best, cold damp or cold dry is the worst depending on the symptom.
10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.
I have been told that I am the least judgemental, most agreeable, and least offendable person that some people have ever met. That is because I work very hard to be so. I used to be very thin-skinned and critical and generally contrary, but I've grown up since then, and I've learnt a lot about people and what makes them tick, and I think that's changed my disposition greatly. I do argue, I do get on people's nerves, I can be moody, nervous, and even at times arrogant. But over all, and I'm going on what others have told me, I'm pretty stable. I know it doesn't sound like it from all of my mental stuff, but I cope with it all well, and it helps me understand others and deal with people how I want to be dealt with. I'm of a very empathetic nature. Though, some might think I'm lazy, because I have about this much motivation. I have written and never published; I have painted and never sold; I start many things and finish few; I lack confidence in my work, and fear rejection.
I am extremely suspicious and cautious in my nature, but I am also a very perceptive judge of character. I can pick a liar out of a crowd just by watching his body language. From adolescence on I have not been successfully deceived. People come to me to ask about their disturbing dreams and about things that bother them about themselves. I am looked on by many as a wise person with much compassion and experience.
How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
I love thunderstorms. I'm not frightful of them unless they are threatening severe weather. Tornado, straight line winds, things that a person should be nervy of. I don't feel better or worse physically, though mentally it is exhilarating. The aftermath of a thunderstorm, depending on whether or not it has cooled the air and released the humidity on a hot day or has just made it colder and damper on a cold day, will either make me desirous of a brisk walk or desirous of going to bed.
Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
When it's my deepest depression, I am generally better if left alone, because consolation only drives me in deeper. I will at times become angry when someone tries to console me. I don't want to be seen or acknowledged most of the time, because my heart interprets it as pity, which, in turn, makes me feel weak. I become bitter when people try to console me. At the same time, when it's over and things are better, I will sometimes feel abandoned because no one came to my aid. I tend to drive people away when I'm distressed, but somewhere inside I want someone to force their way in and make me see that they care and that things will be okay. Trouble is, if they try to do this, I'm liable to attack them. I haven't that I'm aware of, but that's how it feels, so I normally tell people I'm foul and should be left alone. I don't want them to try to make me happy, but because in the back of my heart somewhere I wish they would, I feel left behind or uncared for. Fortunately, I do get over it quickly, because I know that I'm absolutely retched to be around when I'm down, and I really do fear lashing out and damaging a valuable relationship.
As for my physical times, there is no consolation. I'm past that. It never worked anyway. I'm just grateful for the little things, like letting me sleep when I finally get to sleep, or cooking dinner so I don't have to, or not asking me to work any miracles in the way of house keeping or grocery shopping. The best consolation for me is knowing that my family and friends don't hold it against me, and they are all aware of that.
Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
My vision is steadily getting worse. I have always had trouble with astigmatism. I am growing sensitive to light and glare, and I find that I am having a hard time seeing at night.
I am extremely sound sensitive, so that I wear ear plugs about 90% of the time. I only remove them when I shower, when I'm on the phone (and then only the ear to which I'm holding the receiver), if someone asks me to remove them while we are speaking, or when I leave the house. I can't stand to sit in the same room with someone who is eating. I don't care what they are eating, I can't stand to hear them chew. I can hardly stand to hear myself chewing, and have even gone without food to avoid listening to it. Clocks ticking will put me in a foul mood if I don't remove myself from them. The vibrations from heavy bass makes me angry from the centre of power. I love music, but it must be either extremely complicated and intricate or highly emotional. I have perfect pitch, so if I try to use white noise to block out sound, my ear will eventually settle on one pitch and it will make me crazy. I can't stand the sound of a fan that is too close to, and facing, a wall. I love the sound of my diesel truck.
Smells don't readily effect me. I can handle quite bad smells without gagging or really reacting. It has to be extreme.
Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
Weeping, talking to one self etc?
Gave up nail-biting when I was 19-20. I was bad at it for a long time, but I wanted long nails, and so I worked really hard to break the habit. I occasionally talk out loud to myself, but usually just single sentence things like questions or censures when I've made a mistake. Something like: 'What were you thinking when you did that?' or 'Why don't you stop, slow down, and look it over before you mess it up and regret it.' I don't think it's a projectionist statement to say most people do that, but I think it's on the common side of strange. ::grin:: Other than that, I can't think of anything. Oh, the clock thing. I'm forever looking at the time. And if I look at it for no other reason than I feel like I need to look at the clock, it's inevitably the 44th minute on the hour.
How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
My biological family is a wash. I am on speaking terms with my father and my mother, but my resentment keeps me from getting too close to my mother, and my I have to treat my father like a child in order to have any kind of relationship with him. The minute I let up on my standards he goes into his 'pity me' forever the victim, negativity fest. I have to work at that relationship. I love my half brother, but he's at a very selfish and distant age. I have an adopted family that I adore. I don't have many friends, but those I do have I love. I don't do much with my friends, but they are understanding of my limits.
11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
I have a fear of being raped and not murdered afterward. That sounds confusing, but if I am ever raped, I want to be murdered so I don't have to live through it. I've had enough trauma. I don't need anymore. I dream of being perused by someone for the purpose of rape, but they never have a weapon so I know they have no intention of killing me. I am very interested in dream analysis, so most of my dreams are carefully scrutinised upon waking. This is the recurring dream that is themed to my fears. I used to be very panicky when I went out at night, even if just to the grocery store, but when I finally realised why I kept having this dream, I learnt what the fear was, and was able to control my panic. Other than that my dreams are all random nightmares. I can't go into detail, because they are very personal, and the most important one is the one which has been recurring for years.
12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
I will salivate at the smell of bread, but if I eat even two slices I will gain disproportionate amounts of weight. I have been known to gain as much as 10 pounds in one day from eating no more than 6 pieces of my mum's homemade bread. It's water weight, obviously, but it takes days to get rid of, and if I eat more than a few pieces, I can't wear my clothes for a week or more. I also love dairy, but react badly. I crave salt and eat it freely. If I don't eat salt, some of my symptoms, fatigue and mood changes, will worsen. I crave sugary foods, but they make me more ill than bread. My fatigue is increased with any sugar/starch, including starchy vegetables. I have no true food aversions that spring to mind, which is sad, because I do have aversions to how I react to certain foods, and these foods are the very foods I crave.
13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
It's hard to say. I don't have much thirst, but I don't think I ever have. I force myself to drink, because I know I need to. Other than that I drink only things that serve a purpose, like tea with caffeine or lemon water to take the swelling out of my tissues.
14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
I'm forever seeking something to eat. I probably eat less than most people would think, because I'm always hungry and looking for food. Though, I can't eat out; and I can't eat junk, so I have to prepare everything that I eat. This helps me keep from non-stop eating, because I have no desire to cook all the time. When I'm in a seeking state I usually just eat salad, or I'll look but eat nothing. I'm forever hungry, even when I'm full, but I'm not as heavy an eater as I seem.
15. Is there any kind of food which your body cant stand?
Sugar, starch, pork, beef, tomato with garlic and onion (one or the other, not both), eggs, dairy, anything yeasty (beer), wine, liquor, inorganic citrus, most fruits, nuts, peppers, and pretty much anything other than leafy greens and chicken or fish. Everything breaks me out. Sucks to be me.
16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
I don't sweat. I can't remember the last time I sweat.
17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?
I don't go like I should. If I don't use stool softeners or fiber mixtures I will eventually not be able to go at all. Hard and knotty, dark, and scanty. That about sums it up. Occasionally I'll get the feeling that I'll have to go really bad, but there's nothing ever worth the hassle.
18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
I have an erratic and unpredictable sleep pattern. I am of the 'I don't want to go to bed! You can't make me!' school of thought. I don't go to bed unless I'm delirious with tired. My favourite posture is on my left side. I can't always go to sleep on my left side; because I have to be facing the door to go to sleep, but I almost always wake up on my left side.
19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
I don't really have sexual desires. I wouldn't call it that. Maybe impulses, but not desires. I have no genuine desire for sex, and the idea of marriage will literally make me shudder. I have no specific attraction to any one sex, but I have a great appreciation for beauty. I think my sexual impulses, usually in fleeting thoughts, are more related to creativity than they are anything else. I don't have the overwhelming urge to go out and find a partner. I rather like being single. Not that I'm made of stone, but sexual matters aren't, to my waking knowledge, a problem. Nor do I have overly amorous dreams.
20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others?
I'm not that different from others. I think I have my fair share of issues, and I have my fair share of problems, just as everyone else does. But the thing that I have that is not as common in others as it is in me is my susceptibility to fantasy. I have to be careful of what programs I watch on TV and what things I write or read. I can easily lose myself in a character and have to force myself to snap back to reality. I can also become almost obsessively fond of a piece of music or a particular book or film. I can memorise much of the film and watch it over again in my head. I am a wealth of worthless quotes and images from books, TV, and films. Maybe that isn't so different from others, but I kind of think I'm at a more severe degree than most.
21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
I had topical steroids for quite some time, but they have a rebound effect that makes the use of them undesirable. Other than that, nothing other than herbal nutrients and supplements.
22. What major diseases are running in your family?
Diabetes, heart disease, and whether it's a major disease or not, mega colon.
23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
I'm tall, nearing six feet, and I weigh between 185 and 200, depending on what I ate the week before weighing. I have a generally well proportioned, athletic build, with very thick, dense, muscles and thick, dense bones. I should be the picture of health, but my skin is problematic, and for all the strength I possess, I have such a level of fatigue, that I can't readily use it.
(For Females)
24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.
One week before my period I have a day or two of severe depression. I'm always severely depressed, but if I ever committed suicide, it'd be a week before my period. After a couple of days the clouds lift and I'm back to my usual state. I'm very black and melancholy on the outside during this time, as it gets so bad I'm no longer able to hide it from others.
My periods are early rather than late, heavy, foul, clotted, and black. They last longer rather than shorter, and they go heavy 2 days, stop, then heavy for 2 more days, then light for 2 or 3 days. Gotta love being me.
25. Have you had another illnesses in you life? What and when (from past to present)
Yep. I had my period for nearly 3 years at one point. No break in the bleeding. It would slow down, but wouldn't stop. I got up to 350+ pounds and was bed ridden from fatigue, but never to worry, the doctors assured me it was all in my head. Other than that, there was the time I got the flu so bad that I missed two weeks of school, but my loving Grandmother (one of the few people I harbour resentment for) wouldn't take me to the doctor until the school threatened to send truant officers out. I've never had the flu since. The same thing happened with strep throat the following year. I was seriously dehydrated and my throat was torn up and bleeding from the coughing, but she didn't take me to the doctor until the school called. I've never had strep since, either. I always thought that was interesting, because everyone in the house would be sick and puking, and I'd be cleaning up the puke and everything, but I never got sick myself. Totally unfair!
That's my history.
Anonymous 18th Century.
anon18thcentury last decade
Dear Anonymous:
Thank you for your post and thank you for your trust.
I only have a question more for you: please, before your accident with the truck, had you ever had any allergic episode? Had you had any skin trouble before?
In other hand, I think your weight is high for your tall. Because of this, if we begin with the treatment, you'll have to adopt some food habits. This new habits surely help you to overcome your ailments.
Best regards
Andrés
Thank you for your post and thank you for your trust.
I only have a question more for you: please, before your accident with the truck, had you ever had any allergic episode? Had you had any skin trouble before?
In other hand, I think your weight is high for your tall. Because of this, if we begin with the treatment, you'll have to adopt some food habits. This new habits surely help you to overcome your ailments.
Best regards
Andrés
andres last decade
Thank you for your response. I had no allergies before the accident. At least, not to my knowledge. It just blew up on me in litterally hours.
As for my weight being high for my height, well, at 185 I look good, and according to the doctors I've seen I have a good BMI. I'm by no means ideal, but I can't adopt different eating habits, because the second I eat anything other than what I eat right now I get huge. I mean, I gain multiple pounds in one day. I can gain as much as 10 pounds in two days if I eat the wrong food. So, if you're going to ask me to eat anything other than meat and green vegitables, I'm going to have to decline.
I am never going to be over 200 pounds again. Ever. I'll suffer with skin problems until I die before I go back over 200, and if I put anything that isn't either protien or simple, no starch, vegitables, I gain weight overnight.
So, that being said, what is this treatment?
Anonymous 18th Century.
As for my weight being high for my height, well, at 185 I look good, and according to the doctors I've seen I have a good BMI. I'm by no means ideal, but I can't adopt different eating habits, because the second I eat anything other than what I eat right now I get huge. I mean, I gain multiple pounds in one day. I can gain as much as 10 pounds in two days if I eat the wrong food. So, if you're going to ask me to eat anything other than meat and green vegitables, I'm going to have to decline.
I am never going to be over 200 pounds again. Ever. I'll suffer with skin problems until I die before I go back over 200, and if I put anything that isn't either protien or simple, no starch, vegitables, I gain weight overnight.
So, that being said, what is this treatment?
Anonymous 18th Century.
anon18thcentury last decade
Dear Anonymus:
First of all, in my ratio tables, with your height and your weight, you are in the border of the overweight. Do You feel fine with your weight? Well, no problem for me. Make as you like.
But if you change your food habits (more vegetables, no sugar, no fats, no dairy, no cola,...) I'm sure you feel very much better.
I have a proposition to you:
I'll try to get relieve for your ailments, and -if I get it a little bit- you must help me changing a little bit your food habits. If you think that's OK, we can begin very soon. I give you, you give me.
Best regards
Andrés
First of all, in my ratio tables, with your height and your weight, you are in the border of the overweight. Do You feel fine with your weight? Well, no problem for me. Make as you like.
But if you change your food habits (more vegetables, no sugar, no fats, no dairy, no cola,...) I'm sure you feel very much better.
I have a proposition to you:
I'll try to get relieve for your ailments, and -if I get it a little bit- you must help me changing a little bit your food habits. If you think that's OK, we can begin very soon. I give you, you give me.
Best regards
Andrés
andres last decade
Andrea wrote: But if you change your food habits (more vegetables, no sugar, no fats, no dairy, no cola,...) I'm sure you feel very much better.
I'm sorry if I've failed to make myself clear, but let me try this once more; I already don't eat sugar, and I rarely eat dairy (and when I do I only eat yoghurt with added acidophilus etc.) Not to mention that I gave up cola long ago, and the only meats I eat are chicken, fish, and occasionally beef or lamb. The bulk of my diet is leafy greens and fish or chicken. It's boring and depressing, but it does make for an easy shopping list.
Now, since I've already restricted my diet to that of a miserable rabbit for more than 3 years, I can't see how to make any more changes without stopping eating altogether. Furthermore, since I'm 5'11' and on average 190 pounds, not to mention my dense muscle and bone structure, I'm not too concerned with the weight issue. After all, I did weigh 360+ before I discovered my grain/sugar sensitivities, so I've come quite a long way I think. Trust me, if I were to go down to 160 I would look gaunt. I have no desire to look like I'm starving.
So, now that you know that I already eat as you advise and have for quite a long time, can we forego the deal and just give me some suggestions about my skin? Please? I promise, I eat really well. If I put anything in my mouth that even resembles a good-tasting, non-boring, delicacy I break out and get enormously fat. That's why I don't do it.
Anonymous 18th Century
I'm sorry if I've failed to make myself clear, but let me try this once more; I already don't eat sugar, and I rarely eat dairy (and when I do I only eat yoghurt with added acidophilus etc.) Not to mention that I gave up cola long ago, and the only meats I eat are chicken, fish, and occasionally beef or lamb. The bulk of my diet is leafy greens and fish or chicken. It's boring and depressing, but it does make for an easy shopping list.
Now, since I've already restricted my diet to that of a miserable rabbit for more than 3 years, I can't see how to make any more changes without stopping eating altogether. Furthermore, since I'm 5'11' and on average 190 pounds, not to mention my dense muscle and bone structure, I'm not too concerned with the weight issue. After all, I did weigh 360+ before I discovered my grain/sugar sensitivities, so I've come quite a long way I think. Trust me, if I were to go down to 160 I would look gaunt. I have no desire to look like I'm starving.
So, now that you know that I already eat as you advise and have for quite a long time, can we forego the deal and just give me some suggestions about my skin? Please? I promise, I eat really well. If I put anything in my mouth that even resembles a good-tasting, non-boring, delicacy I break out and get enormously fat. That's why I don't do it.
Anonymous 18th Century
anon18thcentury last decade
Dear Anonymus:
It's OK.
We'll try it and wait.
I propose this treatment for a month:I propose it the following treatment during one month:
1.- During the first two weeks, we will clean the whole digestive system of toxins. For that we will use
Solidago V. 6x
Berberis V. 6x
Nux Vomica 6x
Carduus Marianus 6x
Every day, during these two weeks in a bottle of water mineral of a liter and half put 7 drops of each one of these remedies.
Cover, shake it well and go taking during the day in small sips. Try to drink totally every day the content of the bottle.
Too NATRUM SULPHURICUM (Schüsler's Salts). Two tablets, three times every day.
During these two weeks the diet should be slight, enough and without exciting foods. It should distribute his foods in five takings, being the breakfast, the lunch and the dinner the most important, and both among these, softer.
You SHOULD NOT EAT:
Coffee neither alcoholic drinks of any class (neither beer)
Drinks with gas
Cereals, pasta, pizzas, etc (except the rice and not too much)
Sugar neither sweet products or of pastry shop (donuts, etc)
Fried foods neither very spicy.
Dairies of any class (it can substitute them for products of the soya)
You SHOULD EAT:
cooked vegetables and salads, fruits
Fish (better cooked that fried or roasted)
Meat (more good of chicken or turkey than they don't have so much fat)
Oil but not fat.
It is possible that this cleaning sometimes produces him some headache, and get up the first days with the dirty tongue and the mouth with bad flavor. It is a good sign of the cleaning that is making.
2.- The last two weeks, you should stop to take the previous medicines, but it is good that it continued drinking at least the same quantity of water.
The diet will be the same of the first two weeks.
But in these last two weeks we will introduce PROBIOTICS: that is to say, they are combined of bacterial flora that usually lives in the digestive tract and in the intestine (small and large) and that it usually experiences important descents for diarrheas or for digestive problems or for antibiotics.
I don't know any probioticos mark in your country, but you can consult in your pharmacy or for internet. It interests that these bacterias are protected so that they can save the acids of the stomach and to also repopulate the intestine.
He will take this during fifteen days.
You have to take too:
CALCAREA CARBONICA 15CH, three pellets in the morning, at awake time.
LYCOPODIUM CLAVATUM 15CH, three pellets in the morning, at awake time.
These two remedies, you have to alternate during the week (first day, Calc. Carb; second day, Lycopodium C.; third day, Calc. Carb. etc...)
After these four weeks, please report.
If you have any new symptoms or the older are strong, please report.
Best wishes
Andrés
It's OK.
We'll try it and wait.
I propose this treatment for a month:I propose it the following treatment during one month:
1.- During the first two weeks, we will clean the whole digestive system of toxins. For that we will use
Solidago V. 6x
Berberis V. 6x
Nux Vomica 6x
Carduus Marianus 6x
Every day, during these two weeks in a bottle of water mineral of a liter and half put 7 drops of each one of these remedies.
Cover, shake it well and go taking during the day in small sips. Try to drink totally every day the content of the bottle.
Too NATRUM SULPHURICUM (Schüsler's Salts). Two tablets, three times every day.
During these two weeks the diet should be slight, enough and without exciting foods. It should distribute his foods in five takings, being the breakfast, the lunch and the dinner the most important, and both among these, softer.
You SHOULD NOT EAT:
Coffee neither alcoholic drinks of any class (neither beer)
Drinks with gas
Cereals, pasta, pizzas, etc (except the rice and not too much)
Sugar neither sweet products or of pastry shop (donuts, etc)
Fried foods neither very spicy.
Dairies of any class (it can substitute them for products of the soya)
You SHOULD EAT:
cooked vegetables and salads, fruits
Fish (better cooked that fried or roasted)
Meat (more good of chicken or turkey than they don't have so much fat)
Oil but not fat.
It is possible that this cleaning sometimes produces him some headache, and get up the first days with the dirty tongue and the mouth with bad flavor. It is a good sign of the cleaning that is making.
2.- The last two weeks, you should stop to take the previous medicines, but it is good that it continued drinking at least the same quantity of water.
The diet will be the same of the first two weeks.
But in these last two weeks we will introduce PROBIOTICS: that is to say, they are combined of bacterial flora that usually lives in the digestive tract and in the intestine (small and large) and that it usually experiences important descents for diarrheas or for digestive problems or for antibiotics.
I don't know any probioticos mark in your country, but you can consult in your pharmacy or for internet. It interests that these bacterias are protected so that they can save the acids of the stomach and to also repopulate the intestine.
He will take this during fifteen days.
You have to take too:
CALCAREA CARBONICA 15CH, three pellets in the morning, at awake time.
LYCOPODIUM CLAVATUM 15CH, three pellets in the morning, at awake time.
These two remedies, you have to alternate during the week (first day, Calc. Carb; second day, Lycopodium C.; third day, Calc. Carb. etc...)
After these four weeks, please report.
If you have any new symptoms or the older are strong, please report.
Best wishes
Andrés
andres last decade
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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.