need help from any accredited certified homeopathists please!!!

Thank Topaz and Gumby for your kindness. I appreciate that immensely.

I'm a patient under care of another homeopathic doctor in Canada. I really need some knowledgeable person's expertise, hopefully a highly trained skillful and experienced certified homeopathist. Two people named Gumby and Topaz mentioned you know your stuff pretty good so I would like to hopefully receive your helpful advice. What attracted me to the site was some interesting profound statements someone named Joe De Livera made on the ABC homeopathy forums that really resonated with me and made complete sense when he stated how some homeopathists are basically crooks just trying to cash in on sick helpless ignorant people who don't have enough insight to know if hey are actually being led on by the doctors intentionally just to keep their patient unwell in order to profit long term. In otherwords, they keep them mobile but not enough to get them well just to milk them for what they can get when they see their condition is a 'gold mine' ready to capitalize on. Can that actually be verified and proven? Unfortunately Joe did not advise seeking out help from ABC anymore due to interference from other classical homeopaths who resent his non classical method of advice aka 'Joepathy' which he said seemed to work better than their classical methods which he presumed I too have had a dose of up to now. It's interesting that my homeopathic doctor does indeed practice the classical method. So ironic he would say that maybe there are others like that on here too.

My particular case is an interesting one, it involves a younger homeopathist in Canada around in her early 30's that I've been seeing almost two years now and have hardly seen any results other than some changes from the beginning that for some reason end up being short lasted. It was as if the single remedy she gave me didn't hold or the ones thereafter. When i asked her why she keeps switching from remedy to remedy she replies that 'you have many emotional layers' and 'has been going on for a long time.' I don't know if she is leading me on by just keeping me mobile enough she can milk me for what she can get rather than trying to get me well to health speedily, maybe just mobile enough to mark some change but maybe not to restored health. Or maybe she doesn't know as she now states, 'your case is complex and has many emotional components so you might need to see an N.D. and M.D. and get more testing done as I cannot provide testing'. It's strange after I questioned her on this why things aren't holding and what to take for what in between visits when I'm the one who tries to follow up with her instead of her waiting to see me until the next 'paid' visit, that she now suddenly after all this time conveniently suggests that I see an M.D. and N.D. saying that my 'case is complex' (not to say that she isn't confident but she states 'your case is complex since there are lots of emotional components' and that it 'takes time' because 'you have been sick for a long time' and that I may need other support along the way from an N.D or M.D to do more tests. All this after having switched remedies all over the place without ever telling me what is working or not working or why she switched after just saying she was confident in the second last remedy she gave me that was namely 'hydrogen' to now recently switching me over to 'falcon' after just saying she was confident in the hydrogen to work without ever saying or admitting to me if it has even done anything or improved anything or hasn't improved what symptoms. I'll never know. She can't prove it other than implant faith in me that what she is giving me is working perhaps by the same trickery that is used to make people feel something is working called a placebo. But then I'm not sure. I could be reading into something that isn't there. She thinks I don't trust her now. So now I feel bad. Maybe she is playing on my emotions to keep me in control like a dog on a leash so that I will believe she is competent and well equipped. I remember early on she said she will talk to someone about my case as if she was unsure about what to give me. I don't know. It confuses me whenever she keeps switching one single new remedy to the next only to make me continue suffering through each period of 4 to 6 weeks having to wait to see her again from the time she gave me the single remedy after each appointment and then booking me in for another paid visit to have to wait and see what happens in another 4 to 6 weeks just to note any progress if any. It's like I'm just hanging on a string of hope to hopefully believe that she is actually really helping me or not. But who knows? What proof do I have that she isn't toying with me just keep me unwell enough so that she can cash in from giving me the wrong remedies so that 'I think' I'm getting well? Or maybe she wants to send me to doctors who will give me drugs so that she can treat me from the conditions that those cause. Like the 'goldmine' they see that you mentioned. All this trial and error without any basis or explanation of which one is working or not or if I'm even on the right one from the getgo. It's just like a merry go round. We keep going around and around in the assumption I'm getting the real thing and not the fake. And she keeps saying its 'complex' and that I've 'been sick for a long time' so 'it takes time to work.' Well doesn't she have a prognosis of some kind especially if she has treated something the same in some other person? The first visit she gave me a spider not sure if it was a tarantula or what (two pellets in the evening and two in the morning, but have no idea which spider exactly or what strength the first remedy was as she wouldn't tell me), the next visit 6 weeks later, a different spider a scorpion I think was given two pellets in the evening and two in the morning were given, then a lily 6 weeks later, I think she gave me a grief remedy one time called Ignatia (which she didn't tell me she gave me or the strength) then a lily flower the next time, then hydrogen, and now falcon. I noted in the summer around the time I was on the scorpion or the first spider some progress with my sleep and less cold and more calmer, less nervous tension, more vibrant energetic, happier, and even more spry, erotic, sensual, and sexually potent on the first or second spider but didn't hold up, seemed to worsen or resort back to how I was feeling before to the symptoms I was presenting and started to once again reexperiencing the insomnia, chronic tiredness and fatigue or unrestorative sleep, the no get up and go in the morning, depression, emotional numbness, depressed mood, listlessness, the social anxiety, the panicky feelings or overstimulated nervous system and nervous exhaustion I feel, nervous tension in my stomach, fear of people, the magnified fears of dread or doom, fear of dying, edginess as if I was overstimulated by caffeine or amphetamines or something, the anger, agitation, irritability, mood swings from anger to crying, to shame to guilt, reduced gastric emptying of the bowels or sluggish bowel, the GERD or stomach pain or gastritis intermittently that I get, no change on any of the later ones other than most symptoms returning. I think some improvement but not a whole lot. I'm was still shocking out from nervous tension, overstimulation, not drowsy to sleep at night with much delayed sleep, freezing cold chills, shivering, cold intolerance worse when the temperature drops, exhausted and lethargic the next day from not sleeping, no stamina or endurance, muscle fatigue and weakness, depressed mood and emotionally listless and numb, no sexual drive, just not having that opened up feeling where you want to move and do things with strong ambition or drive, no will, the sluggish bowel or reduced bowel elimination like the feeling of not having to go or moving much other than gas after eating and not that pressure of having to evacuate a good movement, just weak peristalsis of feeling you might go but you don't. That's what's been going on the whole time. Lots of PTSD's since around 1992 after which many symptoms started of fatigue, lethargy, insomnia, hair loss, dermatitis, weakness in limbs, tremors, low stamina and endurance, panic attacks from so much overstimulation I think triggering alot of functional problems. While my mom was pregnant with me she was put on some amphetamines or some sort of appetite suppressent commonly used in the 1960's to lose weight. I'm not sure how that affected me as I was always a nervous child and very talkative, very rapid speech even before learning to talk. I still do. As if I'm hyper. I think alot of problems culminated over time likely stemming from alot of the emotional stress from my constitution, the hypervigilence and obsessive compulsiveness as a child (checking things over to make sure it was done) to more phobias, the lack of self acceptance, fear my own image or reflection when I look in the mirror, social and religious guilt or pressure to always be good or 'good enough' and performance anxiety or obsessive compulsiveness that stemmed from that, not being able to concentrate in school, perhaps maybe somewhat ADD, feeling timid and shy and self conscious, I felt I didn't fit in with others, the disinterest and other cognitive impairments such as poor concentration and memory and difficulty absorbing information led to poor grades, so there was fear of failure even then, and then after losing my jobs and careers as an adult not leaving home as a protection or shelter from feeling I might not be capable enough to succeed on my own ever and alot of comparing myself to others or wanting to be someone else. The dejection led to more feelings of inadequacy that I already had. And then burning out to complete meltdown after suffering traumas in 1988 with the combination of losing my career and breaking up with my fiancé, I felt the abandonment and betrayal and dejection further. All that compiling seemed make me personalize it more. To sink in. That's all I was used to identifying with, was the abandonment and dejection. And then surpressed anger and resentment from that dejection and betrayal and abandonment. I had no idea how to handle the shock of it all so I bottled it. Blocked it out but still carried it. The hopelessness and apathy from all that. Hiding from society to protect myself from being more hurt. The reclusion. The isolation. All of it too much causing more hypervigilence, worry, and obsessing from more shock and overstimulation, too exhausted to do anything anymore. Couldn't sleep anymore. The echoes of shock and trauma on my nervous system seemed to be imprinted into me. That energy. The fright of me maybe dying from what I was experiencing from all the burnout and emotional and physical pain and weight I was carrying now. I felt I was going to die. Then going to doctors for help for the physical problems and manifestations. Doctors not helping because they couldn't see any disease parameters. Nothing showed up on tests. More humiliation from more dejection. More apathy. More despondency. More shock. Bottling it for so long. Wondering if I was in great danger. More hypervigilience. Then watching a man dying from a heart attack while playing hockey and having to rescue him in 1994 2 years after losing my girlfriend and my jobs. Panic attacks through the roof now immediately after saving that man. Nightmares of it. Unable to sleep anymore. Then losing my dad in 1999 who died in the hospital from a surgery that went bad as if he was murdered from medical negligence or malpractice. The dread of that loss making things all worse. More fatigue. More sleeplessness. More panic attacks. More nervous exhaustion. More listlessness and depression. More numbness. Feeling more disconnected and abandoned after losing your father. More loss. More apathy. More despondency. More sadness. More grief. Resentment towards not having him emotionally connected or never having it before and now he's gone. The loneliness. The emptiness. Not having a wife or mate. Watching your life pass you by without having what everyone else has. No emotional support. Nobody left to lean on other than my mom and God. Having a stiff upper lipped family who never bothered caring to understand my pain. Feeling alone from that. Being chastised and belittled as a child growing up. Delayed puberty. Underdeveloped. Not feeling like I grew into a man. Still feel like a kid. Just bottling up and repressing things that angered me in my life. The betrayal. The dejection. The bullying as a child coming all back when I got bullied as an adult. Feeling stuck. Not grounded. Trapped. Lonely as if I'm in a prison not having people to connect with on a regular basis. Social isolation. Social desperation. Feeling separated. Disconnected from everything and everyone. Feelings of abandonment. Confusion. Not feeling grounded. Not confident in myself. Not resilient. Feeling small and inferior. Not strong enough. Feeling weak. Ashamed. Embarrassed of my own image in the mirror. The self hatred. Despising my appearance. Hating myself. Losing my hair now. Watching my hair fall out after breaking up with my fiancé in 1992 was distress on top of the distress on top of the feelings of inadequacy I had from losing her. More trauma from the hair loss. Grieving it. Losing my health thereafter. The burnout continuing to worsen. Not being able to work anymore. Total exhaustion and meltdown. Therefore more humiliation of watching others succeed while I fail because everyone else is working and marrying and having babies and I can't. Feeling left out. At a loss. Losing my career and job before losing my health where it all started as an adult then heartbroken and hurt and dejected from a past relationship after losing my job and career. The feelings of inadequacy magnifying from the rejection! A failure. Guilty for sexual sins I have committed with her. Failing God. Letting my parents down. Not letting my past failures or resentments go. That kind of stuff is what I have been carrying my whole life. One other thing I forgot to mention is another trauma of a really bad sunburn I got once when I was 25. I felt like I was in shock with a horrible headache and the burning gave me the chills almost. I still get chills. I don't know if that's related or not or barking up the wrong tree with that. But wanted to mention it. I also don't get much sun since I'm indoors alot and live in central Canada. So maybe I'm vitamin D deficient too. I'm not sure. That could cause some of my symptoms maybe, do you think? My mom is also hypothyroid like many in my family even my sister. Even on my father's side. He had heart disease as I mentioned. There is a genetic issue from paternal and maternal side that has to do with a defect in methylation of catecholamines like dopamine. A catechol-o-methyl-transferase or COMT polymorphism. It's a genetic error where that gene or enzyme COMT responsible for metabolizing or methylating catecholomines such as dopamine doesn't make as much of the amino acid methionine but makes more valine instead so I can't breakdown or methylate or metabolize catecholomines or other steroid hormones like cortisol or dopamine leading to such risks for conditions as ADD, depression or Bi-Polar or even suicide. The effect of this makes my system more sensitive to stress causing everyday stress to become accentuated causing post traumatic stress which continues to echo for years, and the excessive histamine (histadelia) from this causes growth hormone deficiency in the system, then adrenal fatigue, thyroid deficiency, sleep disorder, more traumatic stress, allergies, G.I. issues, chemical sensitivity, weakened resistance to infection, sex hormone imbalances, etc. It seems my adrenals seem weak or flip flop functionally as they don't seem to hold up and my thyroid too which is basically apples on the tree as secondary problems to the COMT which is likely my ' original sin' as the tree trunk of the problems which causes alot of histamine (histadelia) in the system causing most of these problems above affecting the nervous system, gut, sleep, growth hormones, adrenal and thyroid, susceptibility to ordinary toxins that doesn't affect others due to poor detoxification, etc. I can tell my adrenals are tired when I'm tired. And I energetically test them again when I'm exhausted to the floor to confirm this and even when I'm strong they test strong. So something is causing them to not hold up from day to day. My M.D. recently said my thyroid can still be low even if the TSH is normal and maybe require T-3 or triiodothyronine replacement but if my adrenals are weak that could cause an adrenal crisis from the overstimulation and my nervous system is already overstimulated as I'm very high strung and mind is overactive always thinking or obsessively worrying about this or that even as a child. I think without supporting compromised adrenals first my anxiety and insomnia would only accentuate. So maybe that is due to the COMT polymorphism or genetic error causing the poor methylation or breakdown of neurotransmitters or catecholomines in the system where they build up. And perhaps I need supportive nutrients to combat that such as GABA, Acetyl-L-Carnitine, SAME, Methionine, and Vitamin D and Evening Primrose Oil and other B vitamins and maybe a homeopathic with histamine in it like a 6X. I am wondering if its related to that or the amphetamines they gave my mom when she was carrying me in her last trimester or what it stems from. The COMT issues are on phase II for liver methylation but even there are some problems on phase I for acetylation with two polymorphism on two of the set of Cytochrome P450's namely CYP1B1 and CYP2C9 so if I take sulfa drugs or aspirin or any other drug that has to be cleared by those enzymes or genes they get hung up and that slows down detoxification further. So for me it takes a little longer for things to go down the garden hose than others who don't have those polymorphisms. Maybe its the sluggish elimination that causes the fatigue syndromes in me. Who knows what started the ball rolling. I'm not sure. Maybe you can tell.

So here I was with all of this that she has dialogued from the first appointment, some she hear hears later on and sees me every 6 weeks charting it all from the initial visit and started me off with one remedy, a single dose from a spider I think a black spider of some sort (I think it was a tarantula) and the second was the scorpion, I think the characteristics similar to me Rhythmic, sensitivity to music or rhythm, fear of death, fear of being small or weak or inferior which I am, saying my problems are alot like this spider that is supposed to help me feel stronger and feel warmer (because I'm always cold as if I'm poisoned or something or another, I can't remember how she explained) I don't know what her basis is for that but I guess I felt I should trust that and maybe she was right about it since I improved some even noting I was experiencing a new relationship at the time I was on it and more aroused and more connected and opened up to it even to the point of leaving my home turf or safety ground to go see her, was more engaged and more driven to do what I was always afraid of, but then got more rejection so I experienced the depression, apathy, and loneliness once again, but I'm wondering after seeing her time after time every 6 weeks why it doesn't hold, the sleep improved for so long, bowels moving and improving for quite some time up even through the whole summer until just recently, had more get up and go all summer, I wanted to play music more, I was more aroused sexually, feeling more arousal, more excited happier, more vigor but it didn't last long, not noticing great improvements symptoms returning, the low mood, constipation, coldness, tiredness exhaustion, irritability, drained feelings returning, nervous tension returning, sleeplessness returning, and so I still feel the same way over and over again as I did from the start, so I wonder is she missing something? Incompetent of something? Pretending something? Intentionally forfeiting something? Or intentionally dragging my problems out so she can cash in as much as she can, milk me for whatever she can get if she is intentionally just trying to keep me mobile but not get me well so that she doesn't lose business from me, just to run up the tab and cash on what she refers to is a 'complex' case and problems that I have had a very long time' just to lure me enough so she can cash in on or what you refer to as seeing me as 'gold mine' as I read on one of your ABC homeopathy forums. I have no idea if she is a shady homoeopathist or what or one who does not look at me as a patient that she wants to get well quickly or a patient she sees as a dollar sign so she can cash in on for as long as she can. Every time I keep asking her point blank direct cut to the chase questions, like, 'What do I take for what?' or 'How long do I take this for?' 'Why does what you gave me not hold for very long?' or 'Why do you keep switching after just saying you had confidence in what remedy you just gave me before switching it to another one?' or 'What did you give me before that improved my bowel function and sleep?' she doesn't answer me and says, 'You've been sick for a very long time' 'Your case is complex and you have alot of emotional components and layers for a long time' and after telling me I should email her between appointments when I have questions instead of phone, she now says she can't work to treat me by email saying 'We can't work by email and you need to book more appointments if you want to discuss anything' which is contrary to what she said before even saying it was ok to 'use email instead of the phone' for 'follow up'. Strange how she would talk for over an hour to 'get me as a patient' but now that she has me as a patient she can just sort of linger me along with this control of cat and mouse. Now when I follow up myself (what she should be doing) its as if its too much for her. She says she 'can't treat me by email'. Why doesn't she answer my questions? It's as if she is evading something. I ask her point blank questions like 'What did you give me before that was helping some?' or 'Why do you keep switching?' or 'How do I know what remedy to take for what or how long for the things I'm experiencing', then she conveniently hesitates to even reply. It's like I have her back up against the wall with the questions that would mean she would have to turn over her power to me and actually educate her patient which means she would lose business and POWER and CONTROL and its as if she feels threatened she might have to call her own bluff and that I'm threatening to know her scheming to keep me powerless, ignorant and under her control. When I asked those questions again, she replied today and said, 'Maybe you should stop homeopathy for a while and try an N.D. and medical doctor, you might need some biochemical testing and even support along the way, even drugs.' How is that??? She told me homeopathy is so you don't have to take drugs. It's energetic medicine, non invasive, rather than invasive. Why would she take me on then if I should go to an M.D. then and treat with drugs? That makes no sense. Like why would she say that after two years of treating me for so long and then when I ask her questions to try to expose to me what she is doing she provides no explanation as if she is withholding information from to exploit a sick helpless person like she doesn't want to have to admit to me that she is taking advantage of me or leading me on, so to protect herself and her control on me she tries the all familiar 'takeaway' on me? I don't know what she is doing. The last remedy she put me on was falcon to help me with abandonment to make me feel free and more liberated. Apparently the hydrogen remedy was for the abandonment and rejection, feelings I had that I felt unheard or unacknowledged by my parents and my deceased parent. but I feel no change. I actually felt better on the first remedy or second. The spiders than the lily or hydrogen or this falcon. But she says, 'they take time to work Chris'. But when I took the spider, I noticed in 2 or 3 days I was sleeping from the nervous exhaustion and tension I had in my body for so long from all the panic. I was sleeping deeper. But it didn't last long. Maybe a couple weeks if that until I had to see her in 6 weeks again to pay her for another consultation and another dose of something.

Is she on track and being truly genuine sincerely helping my case or just leading me on to keep me unwell as much as she can just to cash in?