If proving similimum, what do you do...

ok so one cannot prove the similimum? are you sure. I heard that one can easily prove the similimum because the similimum is what you are most sensitive too..??

this would be good to know. Than I can say goodbye to platina for certain if you are right

this if you get things you never had is difficult to answer.

Sure I was paranoid before. And after the 10M It got alot more now.

When I was little I feared being on my own at night. But not anymore. The 10M made me feel like I have this childhood fear of being alone at night again.

So I dont know.

My reaction when i considered you might be right was one of depression and that everything was taken from me. That I got nothing to live for if this true. If I really am not this remedy. This is nothing that I am doing consciously. It simply is difficult to accept for me. I dont feel myself anymore and total depression

ok you might be right all. but this leaves me with anxiety now and am shaking slightly with feeling depressed.

I had such strange dream tonight. Where I was with a man who gave me something and I had to deep it into radioactive water to create something which would destroy the world or something along those lines, not, Not sure. All I remember was that I put the material into the radioactive water and later my fingers also and wanted to see if my fingers would dissapear, burn off or whatever, but nothing happened.

And before I met this man I jumped on a small height but than all of a sudden I was really high up in the air on some object and had no way to get down which made me afraid. And than this radioactive dream followed.

this emoticon on top was an error. No idea how it got there. Ignore it. I dont use such things

either it is my remedy or I am tied up, sure... but my thinking goes farther, I try to figure out what this means, why this remedy important to me.

lac leo is similar to platina apprently. The first time I read about it (its remedy profile) it lit me up too and felt good. But it doesnt really interest me. There is still is the feeling of who or what is lac leo?? It just doesnt really stand out

. Funny thing is I dreamed about black cats about 3 times now after reading about lac leo. I dont remember ever dreaming about cats before. This is just my mind lol. I read that Lac leo dreams about cats

yea funny that you mentioned leo. I wasnt commenting on it because you mentioned it. I would anyway because it is similar to platina.

I dont care about top dog. Being top of a group. It is something different, which to me platina represents I guess.

Thanks for the rest you wrote.

I am currently having problems at home again. Well not me, but my younger brother and parents are fighting. Same thing is happening now that he is in those years of a teen as I feel was the case with me. Were he is controlled to tightly and wants to fight it off.

Since this is an issue for me aswell I want this fixed/resolved so i thought about telling this to homeopath when I see her. But when I thought of this in advance the issue came up with how this going to make me look if I reveal how my family is like. I cant. There is an image of me I have, or if I reveal how 'negative' my family is at home this is very bad and changes how I am seen from than on. A loss? To mind comes this conflict. That based on how I look, how I am I should not have such family. It doesnt go together. How this going to make me look? It doesnt fit. something wrong about this.

I think I am a remedy that is very very difficult to go to see a homeopath to reveal all those things/problems. I still cannot believe I contacted a homeopath to see in person. Something that I thought could never happen.

The thing is I am looking forward to being interviewed I like interviews (lol). There is this egoizem and two sides. On one hand fearing humiliation, revealing things etc and on the other hand enjoying talking about myself. Talking about the good things about me

... Something at work which describes my weakness or fear which I noticed is... my mother is a manager where I work at. And she has to order people around. I so often feel like when she gives a command or is critical that 'now, now someone going to get angry and attack her and make her feel worthless and humilate her and make her feel totally small and insignificant, etc'... if this happened to me. phew I would want the ground to swallow me I think. lol. This is my fear. Fear of Constant attack from around every corner, in every sitaution is what I fear, is what I am focused on. I am just surprised that noone attacked my mother yet. And why they all follow her orders without getting angry. If someone treated me like this I would not feel good at all that is why I assume someone could attack. And I would be curious to see what my mother would do. How she would respond. I in her situation could not deal with it. anxiety, uncertainty, fear. Humiliation, confusion, total lack of confidence. It would not be possible.
[message edited by starface on Sat, 10 Mar 2012 01:25:32 GMT]

Attack attack attack... and than I start trembling all over, very difficult, and expect that for every thing I say or do to defend myself I will get attacked more, attacked for the thing I defended with... This is how it is when I am at my worst.

Alcohol is just the case with my father. Mother doesnt drink. But both are kind of the same, mother only a bit better. I dont even talk with my father ever. Thing is now that I am working I am seeing how imbalanced my mother is. At work she is totally happy, hard working, friendly, nicest person (well to others, not to me, for me she never has time as expected. no real surprise, but not an issue really) After work when she comes home she is ok too. But saturdays and sundays when she wakes up and stays at home all day without going to work... those are quite different days (lol) And this looks very imbalanced. She is angry, manipulative, dictating. Obsessive, controlling. Screams around about how the house is dirty and how the landlord going to throw us out or how she going to have to spend money to fix everything we apparently broke and damaged lol etc etc. quite crazy I assume this is because she didnt get her fix of appreciation, validation that she gets at work.

I am sure this is just from loneliness. And everyone at home has this void and no appreciation. At home we are not nice to each other. Noone likes to do anything for anyone without complaining and moaning etc. This is just how it is. We are quiet when praise is due because noone wants to give it, but we dont hold back when there is chance to be critical of each other.

God there is so much anger at my parents. They are all about work. If you dont work all day you get critizised and made to feel guilty. They pride themselves on this. At work I see how my mother works so hard and so many hours just to get appreciation and to do her work perfectly. All would be fine with that if she would not be so 'devilish' and expect the same from me otherwise totally critizise me. But her criticsm doesnt really bother me. My fathers criticism is what can make me really angry, sometimes it gets to far. Over the years the opinion of my parents changed. I dont think much of them. I cannot feel good when I see my mother working so hard when I know what is the reason behind this... that she does not value herself otherwise. It is all unbalanced, small egos wanting to be valued.

I find it interesting that statistically most often in a family noone shares the same remedy. I am so much like my father and mother. Even after I had the courage after I took platina oneday when we were at the beach it came up that I talked with my mother about my problems and felt like telling her about platina... and when I mentioned queen... my mother said: 'that is me than, I am the queen'. And the tone of her voice in which she said this was all familiar to me. The sound of a small ego fearing attack. I too was uncomfortable and with great difficulty could barely describe platina because she knew that I took this remedy. So I might get attacked that this is not me I feared I think.


I dont care much about the past things that happened, all is forgotten, except that I have insecurities now because I had such parents and that people can see them. I am only angry about that I have this now. Wished this would not be here.

I better dont have kids for as long as I have this issues otherwise I would be just like them to my kids

my younger brother has it tough. When he brings a girl home who is just a friend everyone is making a fuss about it, attacking in a ridculing way, including me at times, I sometimes make a comment but I try my best to hold back.


Ah that was to long. I am regressing again. I dont feel to good about myself any longer and things feel depressive a bit again. Good that in 2 days I am going to the appointment.

I bought myself some things with the money I earned, but as I expected it did not make me happy. There was no need to spend the money. Until my problems resolved. Where I wont be alone without a good social life nothing going to make me happy anyway.
[message edited by starface on Sat, 10 Mar 2012 03:06:31 GMT]

thing is I am starting to feel the unhappiness on days I am not working too, like my mother because there is nothing to do,things are not ok, something missing maybe.