power of similimum

work was good. No low feelings or humiliation that I can remember.

My speech wasnt as good as it used to be but it did not cause me to feel bad or whatever.

My face also wasnt much improved but it mattered less.

I noticed the 'special' feelings that I often get after a work especially if I listen to an emotional song in the car were much less. I could not feel them even really. Could not let myself go... this is stability or balance.

30c doesnt feel really deep. But some balance, stability noticeable. How my fear at night not present but I stay stable.

well that is my opinion based on what I saw from your posts, the posts where you dealt with other memebers and the ones with me.

What I saw is the lack. And also that your problem seems deep + you also mentioned that you feel attacked in one post. And I would wonder whether that means you often feel attacked in your daily life? This could mean row 6. But I have no idea really since I dont know that much about you.

If builidng relationships is difficult for you aswell... than there are quite a few pointers to row 6 present.

I believe mineral and syphilitic miasm would be quite accurate for you. The syphilitic miasm based on your suspicions. The depth there seems syphilitic to me.

You could try such remedy in low potency like I said. If the chosen remedy is not a 100% correct... at least if the kingdom, miasm and row is right, than it should give at least partial relief and this in turn be a good indication that the remedy is close.

It is all up to you what you going to do with David.


At the moment it is hard past the miasm and kingdom to narrow down your remedy because there isnt much info, not for me but the one who is treating you

There isnt known what your problem past the 'suspiciousness' is in social situations for you? Does it stem from a fear of being attacked, critizised? Is it a vulnerability like narcisistic people have. Since in their mind they feel all this great person so they have a problem when things arent turning out the way they expect or see themselves as... which is my problem. A great vulnerability to attack/critizism/ridicule etc. humiliation is something I totally hate aswell. And never want to feel humiliated around people.

do you have an inferiority complex or just a lack of confidence is the type of info needed and more. I havent seen any such info in your thread.



Anyway I will leave it. I know that giving leading questions can spoil the case... but some people also have no idea about what their problem is really so they need a bit of help... it is a dilema. I know I would never find my remedy if I wouldnt read homeopathic literature. And I believe minerals have especially difficulty with describing their problems. Especially the ones who feel uncertain about everything. They will just nod to everything you suggest for them. Minerals as a sensation experience the lack, the 'non ability' to do things.

I know I feel this when I am attacked. That the anxiety and fears are about whether I am able to defend or not defend myself. This is the mineral. No other issues is present for me when I get critizised or attacked. No sensitivity and no victim/ aggressor issue. But the lack, of non ability.

Before I started working I was confused about my kingdom, it was hard when I wasnt around people to find it out. But once I got back to being around people it was quite easy to see based on all the knowledge I had and staying open to all possibilities.

It is quite easy for me to tell when I am confronted with critizism by a stranger what it is about. I didnt even have to eliminate the possibilites which are least likely, but it was just as clear as it gets that it is the mineral and about being able to defend or not defend. Because as a mineral you dont feel anything else but just this whether you are able to or not.


Well correction you feel anxiety and fear about your capability of doing this something (defending or whatever it is)
[message edited by starface on Fri, 30 Mar 2012 08:36:44 BST]

I slept alone in a room tonight and all was fine. Woke up in the middle of the night once, but shortly got back to sleep and no need for light.

And no more images either. Seems like my 'third eye' got closed haha.

Think I had a platina like dream tonight. Probably because of the remedy. I was in a formula 1 race starting at the front in first position. Schumacher overtook me at the start but towards the second lap I overtook him back.

Dream was great, too bad no such thing in reality for me. But it is ok. I think I will be happy with whatever I end up with in the end.

yesterday night I watched a bit of youtube and often it makes me emotional and get this feelings when I watch stars etc. Not a good feeling... But there is stability I am noticing now. That I am not pulling into this direction or mind state or feelings. But stability now. I cannot let myself go into this direction where I am overemotional. But stability.


... It wasnt easy but not impossible to find own similimum. Even more so because I am not the typical platinum I believe that is portrayed in materia medicas.

But I understand the 'other song' thing from sankaran now. If platinum metallicum is not like a personality but just another part of you - the other song. Than it makes perfect sense. Because I would not fit the personality of platinum. But symptom wise. My defense mechanisms are of platinum. ANd they do only come up in specific situations when I am FEELING Attacked or whatever. Than this comes up.

And in this way it makes perfect sense that platinum is my other song. Based on that it is my survival strategy but it isnt present all the time with me like a personality. I am often pretty nice, reasonable, helpful. But in a situation where I could be attacked. Like an example as I clearly noticed a few months ago at home when I gambled on some sport game and lost while my father knew that. I become haughty from the defeat. I didnt attack back when I was told the usual crap of 'I told you so', 'I knew this team wont win' bla bla. This makes me haughty and look down at my father for being such low idiot and feel even repulsed by this behavior. Because this is the common thing to do for the small people with their small egos. Trying to bolster their egos by telling me ' I told you so'. This just shows no class or any type of awareness to me, so the person rendered as worthless, low and a disgrace to me.

I can be pretty haughty and contemptous. Many things bother me in other people when I am in this state.... which is only when attacked or a situation where I feel I will be most likely attacked. And even than I am kind of mindful and my consciousness comes in. The higher purpose and responsibility. That I must not be like that. I also check in with myself of how I am appearing to myself very often. A high standard. I confused this all with aurum at one point some months ago. But I know this is ego behind it. Of not wanting to be like every other idiot on this planet who isnt up to standard. My consciousness is here because I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror otherwise.

Maybe my mother isnt platina like me aswell because today she told me how I could when I go to university get a higher student allowance income. That to get it I would have to deposit to my mothers bank account every week some money so that I can say I am paying rent for our house while she would secretly give me the money back... And no way! I would feel like a low rat who is trying to survive and just cheat his way through things. I am not doing such thing. Money isnt everything. I rather work harder to earn more money than do such disgusting thing which would make me not be able to look at myself in the mirror any longer.


..Obviously the 30c dose hasnt gotten deep to my ego like the 1M and 10Ms have when I took them haha.

This is the danger when I get more confidence from a remedy, but than regress back to my old disease... that I become like that. The tendency to be arrogant or overbearing but I keep it in check for the most part. Because being arrogant overbearing is being looked down upon by me. Every idiot can be like that. Its 'smallness' to me.


Anyway I am feeling an aggravation today. In my chest, but it feels good. Probably the paralyzing weakness will go away soon finally again which comes from the chest and makes my hands feel so weak and tired. It feels much better compared to last week already anyway.

I never am trying to be superior at the expense of others. At the expense of putting others down unless they attack me. I am sensitive to other people feelings. Especially if I make someone feel not good enough. It hurts me because I know how bad this feels.

I often attacked back my father really heavily. But late at night my consciousness was messing with me and my sensitivity to how bad he must feel now that I once did the impossible... I apologised to him by a text message. Never did I do such thing and it is an uncommon thing in my household for anyone to ever apologise for something. But the responsibility came in. I could not have it that my father might feel bad about himself now based on the things I told him earlier on that day, because of ME. I could not live with that... So I kept telling myself on that night that some things are bigger than me and I need to do this (apologise). The next day I felt so vulnerable and anxious. I did not want to get out of my room. So uncomfortable by how I lowered myself and put myself in this vulnerable spot where I can be attacked and humiliated. But it was all ok.

This in itself 'some things are bigger than me' were just another clue for platina. Ego and responsibility can be taken out from that.

Ah enough now. I am writing this like a diary. It is the superiority thing. Making myself look superior... but not at the expense of others. I dont do that when there is no justified reason.

took my 3rd and final dose today for now. But I noticed I took the wrong potency the 200c instead of 30c. A Mistake I only noticed after it when I looked at the bottle. now I took a dose of 30c followed by 30c & 200c instead of 30c again in 3 consecutive days.

well as of now the dose doesnt feel deep but I guess I could not expect that after trying 1M and 10m of this remedy and now this low potency maybe wont be that effective

the change is only in that I feel stability more, no low feelings or humiliation. and I can sleep at night.

The ego or seperate thing rather is the same. It is not like I opened up. I am rather feeling the superiority thing stronger or maybe it just got into my awarness that I actually do often try to appear superior.

So I dont fel the low feelings but defence mechanism is in tact still.
So no cure as of now. Until it gets to my ego with this seperate thing that I have, where I distance myself from others... no cure.

I hope I wont have to take a 10M or something even higher ever again.

Homeopath hasnt replied to my email yet as expected.

I felt comfortable walking around people but I was putting everyone down in my mind. I dont like this. Good to feel more confident and not those low humiliating feelings but it is not what I want.
[message edited by starface on Sun, 01 Apr 2012 04:49:50 BST]

I can feel the feelings of dissapointment based on this in the background and the special feelings which usually follow after this, but it is not happening. I am just aware that they are in the background, or to better describe it this is how I usually would react and I notice it, but I dont get going into this direction but stay stable... dont get to feel the special feelings or dissapointment in a strong way.

obviously potency to low I believe is the reason. Usually I would not even feel any sort of dissapointment or special feelings

Not sure if I understand everything correctly of what you posted.

... I mentioned baryta carbonica as a comparison only for getting a clue about what your miasm could be. The depth of their (baryta carb) problem is shown by how they fear they are being laughed at OFTEN. They are fearing this is happening all the time when someone laughs. So it was just a comparison to your level of suspicousness which to me seems at the same level as a baryta carbonica has of the fear that people are laughing at them all the time.. If you get what I mean. I tried to think of how deep your suspiciousness problem is and it sounds to me syphilitic. Because as I mentioned syphilitic remedies have such depth. like baryta carb I used as an example fear people are laughing at THEM always whenever someone laughs for who knows what reason. But they think automatically it is about them from their fears.

... I dont know what was wrong with me posting there. My name was mentioned again in one of his posts. And so I had to clarify something. I dont think it added fuel to the fire but rather the opposite.


This is just speculation. I dont have enough info. About your miasm. This is just my impression I get. It could be wrong of course
[message edited by starface on Sun, 01 Apr 2012 13:33:40 BST]

I noticed after again trying to find a career for myself, this happens sometimes when I take platina that I feel a desire for studying etc.... SO I noticed that my things about art, performance arts, media... is just the disease of me. This is not my thing. This is not really something I want, or what I am good at... But my disease. Because of my disease I need to get into this area.

So I havent found a career for me yet. Not ready yet. Not at this stage. Need to be cured more.


Today was a strange day. Sure I notice 'stability'. Example I saw my younger brother with his girlfriend on the street while driving to work. Imagine the devilish inferiority feelings I usually get after such situation . Where I feel like I need to be a devil to my younger brother, where I feel totally offended by what I saw... but I could instantly forget about what I saw. No emotional charge. Once I was past it, it was forgotten a few seconds later.

So I thought really great feeling stable and not fixated on negative things.


But at work since yesterday I found out there was a small complaint about the cleanliness of the rooms. Which is my job. A visitor made a small complaint about a room not being clean. This was on sunday. On the days I dont work. So not my fault really. But still I felt so offended. There is stability but not entirely an issue that does not bother me. I felt like 'who is this visitor who said such thing and critizised my work'. I felt like I felt when I took palladium, only not that extreme. It hurts emotionally. When you give your best... but than a person comes and critizises your work??? I totally cannot deal with this. I am intolearable of any critizism and the reason for this is because I try my best always. So it does hurt when instead of praise which you expect a complaint comes your way. I felt so hurt or offended by it that I did not even want to go into that room or see any of those people again.

Anyway I worked overtime close to 2hours today. Did all good. Helped in the kitchen again overtime again. And I feel like one more complaint again and I am going to brake out in anger and ask the visitors what their problem is and who they think they are??

I am sure this would not happen if this vistor saw me in person. Because everyone treats me well, praises my work. Tells me that I do a good job. and when a criticism comes... it just breaks me. I cannot work anymore. Today was difficult and my performance suffered. I just cannot work well when I know people are not 100% satisfied with my work. They either are very happy with it and let me know it... than I work at my best, or they have even just a small complaint than it breaks me. Things not working out any longer.

So right now I feel like one more complaint after I am trying my best always and I feel like exploding or killing someone. Just my feelings. Not something I would do obviously. But I would have a debate if anyone said a complaint to my face for sure. Nothing offends me more than such thing. And I dont have a social anxiety problem when I get offended.


At one point in the day I was really angry. I thought who the hell is this haughty visitor who writes a letter of complaint because their was a bit of dust behind a furniture. SO angry. Who is this vistor. I really felt like just getting rid of this vistor. Just my feelings. But this is the anger I feel. when someone does such thing. It is emotionally that there is some problem... abandonment, rejection or something like that when my work gets critizised
[message edited by starface on Mon, 02 Apr 2012 06:34:14 BST]

To lycopodium.

Ah there are many sources I read from about baryta carbonica. But I am not saying you need the remedy. I dont think so. I just mentioned baryta carb to compare your depth of your problem (the depth of your suspiciousness) to a mineral remedy who has the same depth. which is baryta carb, mercury, alumina in my view. Along those lines which is the syphilitic miasm Understand? I dont have a remedy in mind for you specifically. I just think you could use a mineral with the syphilitic miasm. But I could be wrong about the miasm of course. I dont know how high your desperation level is and how deep your problems feel to you.

think I need a higher potency of platina. 30c wont get me anywhere. Its just liveable at the moment. No low feelings, no emotional instability. Despite the above thing I described. I felt relatively stable and that the emotions where not all out or overwhelmed me. But all fairly good and stable.

well I had the feelings of security in my stomach again yesterday while going to bed. So clearly all this are good signs. And that I even responded to a 30c. I can feel the difference from a 30c and 1m or 10M now. With a 10M it was such big profound thing. Like an adventure in itself. Because it brought me in a totally different state. Where my emotional hurt feelings came up. I felt I was opened emotionally but also opened in another way which wasnt good (the images when I closed my eyes) and just in a different mindset than from usual.

And with the 30c no such thing. I just notice stability and the feelings of security more like in the background, more subtle. Because my mindset hasnt changed. It didnt affect this. I guess this is what 30c potencies are. They dont go that deep.

if i think of all the improvements it is the stability in that I dont react with low humiliating feelings and never get into this low mindset where I feel in danger... is the best. It makes work possible. And I am not second guessing myself anymore when I have something on my mind to say which started appering once I was regressing again. Which was about 4 months later from the 10m dose
[message edited by starface on Mon, 02 Apr 2012 22:01:20 BST]

Platina is making me 'unstuck', and gain emotional stability... which is what cure is about I am noticing.