5 Yr. Old Boy with ADHD/Oppossitional Defiance Disorder

My son has presented ADHD symptoms since I can recall. Before the age of 2, it wasn't as noticeable (not speaking well yet, still developing personality). Once he hit 2 it has been one continous nightmare. I feel very strongly against labels, quick and typical diagnosis pshych's make w/young children and the use of prescription drugs. But in desperation to get him back in kinder and to find some relief for my own mental state and the state of my marriage...I went ahead with a psychiatrist in putting him on Metadate SR and Depakote ONLY if it helped him function in school. It did not. After 5 times of him being expelled, I am now attempting to homeschool him (while caring for my 2 yonger children).

Here is his information:

Symptoms:

1.He has never taken naps well. When he was a toddler (10 minutes is all he would sleep during the day). This was concurrent through grandparent, daycare workers and babysitters. As he got older he refused/or couldn't take naps almost at all. The only way to make him sleep is 5mg of Melatonin chewed in his mouth, 20 minutes before bed time, every night.
It'snot worse or better in any other environment and is at nap time and bed time.
Between the ages of 2 & 3 he had horrible night terrors and slept walked...almost nightly. But the nightmares and sleepwalking has seemed to dissapear over the past 2 years.

2. He does not sleep long. He is up usually before the sun comes up. Without Melatonin he would not be able to sleep until 11pm or 12am. And wakes up around6 or 6:30am (with OR without melatonin).

3. When not on Metadade or similar drugs...he has an uncontrollable hunger and thirst. This has been a very marked thing with him (to everyone who knows him) since birth-even when he was breastfed. On Metadate he has no hunger and gets lathargic, which seems to be common among patients on it.

2.He has an obsession with breaking, getting into and taking things that are not his. We had to put combination locks on our pantry at one point; because he started eating us out of house and home, any time during the day or ngiht-when we were not right there watching him. He learned how to get past the childproof lactches and somehow always found the lock keys I would hide. Combination was the only thing that worked. And even then he would study it and fiddle with it for long periods of time. Meanwhile, he is always fed regularly.

3. He has a large, impressive vocabulary. We were told and witnessed his amazing observance even as an infant to people when they spoke. And he still does it (if he's not in a hyper active state). But he has no attention span. Not even that of my 2 1/2 yr. old son. He cannot focus on work long enough to even sit down and start it. He can only give eye contact for a few seconds, maybe 3 at the most...and then has to be physically directed back to the focus of your face. Over and over, as long as you try to talk to him. Quickly he becomes very angry.

4. He is easily provoked. He is extremely argumentative. has a meltdown when he is wrong, loses at anything or anything is changed. He has never transitioned well. When he becomes angry, he becomes violent. Will hit others (with no regard to gender or size-althogh he has been raised to have those regards). Scream in others face. Throw things. Say very rude and inappropraiet things.

5. He is very impulsive. Will grab something, push someone, or just go bonkers with loud noises and extremely obnoxious behaviour out of nowhere and is very hard to calm down.

6. He is very stubborn. Resists all kinds of authority. Even with me, his primary caregiver-who knows how to stand her ground.

7.He loves animals, is obsessed with electronic games. Figures them out very quickly.

8. He has rare moments where he is very kind, affectionate, gentle and wants to be a big helper. He shows this side to others besides me. But with them it is very random and rare as well.

10. He wets the bed. His younger sister and brother had a short phase of this, as with most potty training. But David (child I am posting of) has not stopped wetting the bed, since he was put in underwear (at age 4-due to very long potty training process).

9. Reports from day care workers in his past and school staff have been: Very defiant. Hits others. Refuses to do any work. Cannot sit still. Steals and destroys others property. Has an incredible vocabulary. Is highly intelligent for his age.

*He has no diseases or phsyical conditions. Except for hypospadia. Which we had corrected (somewhat successfully).

*He was born 3 1/2 weeks premature. He weighed 5 lbs. 14 oz. And had sever jaundice for a couple weeks. But rapidly gained weight. Jaundice went away. And has been 'average/above average' in weight, height, etc...since then.

*He craves anything chocolate. he has never had sugary drinks. Since I never started that habit. But he still asks for them, all the time. He is especially sensitive to loud music, criticism, cold, the dark, spiders, storms and heights.

*He has not had any shots in a long while. And has never had any reactions to any medicines or vaccinations given in his past 5 years.

I hope I have described him and his symptoms, personality, likes, dislikes, fears etc in detail. But not exaughsted anyone who wishes to read this! :D

He has been on Metade SR and Depakote for about 3 months (through Coastal Plains MHMR center). But I have started to decrease his dose of both medications because it never helped him with school. And he was losing weith from decreased appetite. Along with the major side effects of depakote. So, am dealing with his normal behaviour magnified (I thought I could never imagine that) at the moment.

Thank You,
Erin
PS
The picutre is of David and his yonger sister, about 2 years ago. This type of stunt is still pulled to this day (if his door is left unlocked). We are always at home and this is always at night, while we sleep. I have triple locks on all doors leading to the outside and locks on windows because of this. Since some how (and I am a light sleeper) they are able to move aruond-be up late-make so much destruction with such little noise.