Mental Abuse, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, OCD _{Page 2 of 2}

Well, I’ve cut back on my consumption of alcohol down to where I will only drink on Fridays and Saturdays. I will only drink beer.

Hysterical, no never, I’m quiet the quiet time, not loud at all, I dislike talkative people.
“Embarrassment. Can you tell us more about this. is it such that you are afraid that others will see that you are not good enough? Or what do you say?”
ANSWER: No not at all if anything I’m quite, how can I put this, I tend to think or feel that I am ahead of everyone else, as far as intellect. I tend to always be right on in my assumptions, and observations, I sense things most do not, clairvoyant, I’m very proud, and have very high self-esteem, love myself very much but I’m not arrogant in any way nor do I exude it. I just developed an insecurity which was learned I guess, I’m paranoid about how others perceive me, which stems from the psychological abuse, negative nonverbal facial expression and innuendo my father projected onto me in my late adolescence. Ithink it’s worth noting that my father was never secure about his manhood by the way, I believe he worries about how others think of him or how they perceive him. I believe that some of my fathers insecurities surfaced and came into play once I hit late adolescence as he saw I was becoming a young man and probably feared that I would not respect him as a man or think of him as less of a man. I noticed that when around masculine or macho men, or even the younger crowed(who tend to be a rough crowed and more judgmental) I notice feelings of insecurity begin to surface. He has his own psychological tricks he uses to diffuse such situations. It hard to explain, it’s was all nonverbal facial expression stuff nothing verbal. This all damaged me psychologically to where I just became extremely homophobic to the point where I felt uncomfortable around my friends for fear of displaying my fears and insecurities and for fear that people would read it all wrong and pass judgment.

is Mendorrhinum not sold in the US?
Also, which one of the following will I have do without before and after ingesting Mendorrhinum :
'5-htp, arsenicum album, (10g of inositol which I commenced about a week ago)magnesium taurate, lecithin, zinc, p5-p, Chinese mood elevator, spirulina, nerve control and liver cleanse, plus 3 tablespoons of Udo's choice oil 3-6-9 blend per day'.

Well he’s very Jekyll and Hyde that way , split personality. He can be a loving affectionate sweet person one minute and the next a violent mentally abusive control freak. I don’t live with my father I live with my mother. The things I mentioned about my father is what he put me through back during my late adolescence and the trauma that resulted from it, I’m talking at least 13 years back, and I’ve been suffering PTSD ever since. And to this day my father is still a difficult person, that’s why his neighbor busted his nose for him a while back.

You hit the nail on the head when you say he puts on a façade, and yes part of it was for my protection(when I was growing up) I understand that, but sometimes it is for his or OWN protection when he feels insecure(to bail his own ass out from showing his own insecurities as a man) so he in turn tries to make you feel insecure by suggesting things by way of innuendo to where you feel uncomfortable, and believe me as an adolescent that does things to your mind, it can cause mental illness, it says so in the medical books of psychology. You are more vulnerable at this age, when you are all innocent. It hurt me so much that I basically traumatized myself from thinking ‘why is my father sending these mixed signals? Does he think I’m gay or something?’ this had a profound effect on me psychologically. This inturn can cause one to develop insecurities and phobias. There are ways to do things and ways not to. Be he is just I guess, uncivilized that way like and indian from Amazonian rain forest.
And you’re right he did take care of me and he loves me very much me I realize this without a doubt, it’s just that he is f*cked up as well coming from a dysfunctional alcoholic family, well his father anyway. The whole family(his bros and sisters) knows how he is in this respect, how insecure he is with regard to his manhood, and they know of the filth he carries up in that head of his. My sister honestly thinks he was probably sexually abused as a child, as it would probably explain his sick mentality. Do you think it’s normal to be constantly suspecting people of molesting their children, or a brother sexually abusing his own sister, or assuming that children instead of playing are engaging in sexual acts because their parents probably put them up to it? He would assume this of the neighbors, or of people in public whenever we went out somewhere when I growing up. That is not normal. Well anyway, as I was going through my adolescent years and maturing sexually, that’s when all of this started to affect me mentally. I know it is probably hard for you to understand let alone empathize with my situation since you probably came from a normal background. I’m suffering from PSTD plain as simply.
And yes I have worked in the past, but it was always a struggle, to get up in the morning, all panicky, heart pounding, stressed out, tense, it’s hard to do anything when you have a lot of baggage, people like this tend not to hold on to jobs very long and are unreliable. You basically can’t function. You’re not happy etc etc. This PDST has robbed me of having a social life and meeting someone of the opposite sex, which I know would probably right off the bat dissolve 95% of my issues without any meds. What I am in search of at the moment is for something that can put my mind at ease, to where I can handle going out and having a normal social life. I hate to admit it but basically my father turned me into a B*TCH, afraid of everything, well everything irrational that is. Don’t get me wrong though, when it comes to putting the gloves on and physically fighting someone or in a situation that calls for a heroic act, my mind switches into war mode and all stupid irrational fears go out the window as adrenaline kicks in. So I’m not a coward in that regard. In fact you might say I like confrontation, I feel good, I like to fight. Where as most would be cowardly in such situations. “Come on that’s it, that’s the way I like it”
So in the end no, he’s not a horrible person, I talk to my father every day, but he is one stubborn DIFFICULT person. My sister doesn’t understand why I even talk to him or go over to see him, when she won’t even talk to him herself. I guess I’m just a more forgiving person that way.

Helios Homeopathy has a £9.00 minimum for orders shipped outside the UK, I live in the US.
Sameervermani, what other medicines along with medorrhinum should I order to make the minimum for shipping ? Also should I order a series of higher potencies of medorrrhinum incase I respond well to the medorrhinum? I fugre this way I will save on shipping in the event we should have to order higher potencies or other remedies. I could always return the unopened meds should I find the correct remedy of the bunch that works for me.

Alright, I just wanted to thank all of you homeopaths for your suggestions.

I'm currently working with a homeopath who has started me on Staphysagria and Bach flower remedy. I also went a head and purchase the Calcarea Carb and Medorrhinum as you guys suggested. My doc says if the Staphy does not work for me we will move on to the other remedies.

I'll keep you all posted in the coming weeks.

Thanks again

Hello again, I know itsb een a few months since I posted. I tried the Calc. Carb LM1, Staphisagria 200c, Pulsatilla 30c and Mendorrhinum 1m the past few month to no avail.

What other remedies are out there for me to try?

Can a homeopath out there provide me a list of remedies so that I may purchase all of them at once to save on the shipping costs.

The only homeopathic remedy that I find calms me down some is Arsenicum Alb. 30c. Maybe 50% relief of symptoms, (Anxiety, OCD and depression)I get from this.

I think it's worth mentioning that I strongly suspect I am deficient in a mineral, the reason for this is whenever particular either processed or prepared foods for example when I have a pizza from a local pizzeria with everything the works, mozz, pepperoni, hot and sweet peppers, mushrooms, olives, Italian sausage and anchovies, within a few hours of ingesting 95% of my symptoms are gone. It's amazing. Not any pizza will do it. If I make pizza with the works at home it does nothing. I think its the fortified foods/toppings my local pizzeria uses some mineral in it.

I'm thinking of trying glycerin, sulpher and phosphurus.

I even bought an expensive juicer to juice veggies and still I do not find any relief. Ive tried B complex not much relief. Iron supplements I feel better more alert, more energized. Ive spend hundreds on vitamins and herbs, money down the drain. I would like to have my self checked for any mineral/vitamin deficiencies its just that those tests are expensive and I am uninsured.

I'm really beginning to feel hopeless and more depressed because of this. I'm feeling homicidal enraged, murderous rage! F*cking c*nt gangstalker citizen rats in my neighborhood. I've had it!
[message edited by nicodemo on Fri, 11 Feb 2011 23:51:05 CST]

I see, thanks for your reply. I was fine when I was on paxil 5 years ago. But I absolutely refuse to get back on any prescriptions. There is a natural remedy out there like what's in that pizza that I mentioned. I wonder what you thought about the pizza and as to what could be the cause for my finding relief when I consume this particular pie. thanks