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lachesis vs phosphorus Page 11 of 13
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I had to laugh again uncontrollably when some people were looking at me. I dont know why I do it. Dont like it, cannot control it
vitamin.X last decade
One thing for certain is I feel generally better, in the moment. my BDD is the best improvement, a non issue almost. I didnt even apply the oils on my face and not care about wrinkles so much that I only apply it before going to bed. And I dont worry throughout the day that I should do it now always like I used too
I also doubt now that I am lycopodium. I heard a family member speak about his experience working in prison, not as a prison officer, a different role. And see how he feels good by being in a position of being able to dictate people around. Or also when the police stops you for a ticket he feels good about himself able to say that he works for the government so often the police let him through without ticket and I could not understand how one can feel good about using your position to evade a ticket. And the reply I have gotten from the person was that he feels very good about it. Then I could somehow understand it that he must feel like he is a big person now, or someone important, but I could never feel good about myself this way. In fact I would feel very small if I used such things.
I might be complicated or have high standards, expectations. I dont know. I dont know what would make me feel good about myself. My guess is to do RIGHT in every situation. Be the best, the greatest. And never egotistical, unfair, act small.
Well I definately aint lycopodium than as that is not me. I would feel good if I did my job correct and in fact very bad if I would missuse my position to do wrong things or evade wrong things like my family member.
I would wish if this family member would stop being happier than he was before starting work in prison because it makes me think of what this person thinks of himself. It reveals his inner state. I read people like a book and it makes me feel bad knowing how small this person feels. Not in a sympathetic way. But bad that this person is like that. I would wish he were different. Not so small and insecure or whatever the correct word could be. I can tell by the way he talks about his work experience and the change I see in him how his inner state must look like.
In case its not clear what I mean... for example if this persons level of happiness would not change or if this person would not start feeling better by having a position were he dictates people around it would tell me that this person thinks high of himself or is confident. Now on the other hand if a persons behaviour and level of happiness changes by being given this position and becomes a bit egotistical also it makes me feel bad as I know this person has insecurities or is not genuinely does not think high of himself.
Hope that was clearer. I wonder if this is something that would bother everyone or if this is my 'disease' lol, an issue only for me, but not to the average person.
I guess I hate being around people who are not confident genuinely?? I dont know though
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sat, 10 Sep 2011 12:58:21 BST]
I also doubt now that I am lycopodium. I heard a family member speak about his experience working in prison, not as a prison officer, a different role. And see how he feels good by being in a position of being able to dictate people around. Or also when the police stops you for a ticket he feels good about himself able to say that he works for the government so often the police let him through without ticket and I could not understand how one can feel good about using your position to evade a ticket. And the reply I have gotten from the person was that he feels very good about it. Then I could somehow understand it that he must feel like he is a big person now, or someone important, but I could never feel good about myself this way. In fact I would feel very small if I used such things.
I might be complicated or have high standards, expectations. I dont know. I dont know what would make me feel good about myself. My guess is to do RIGHT in every situation. Be the best, the greatest. And never egotistical, unfair, act small.
Well I definately aint lycopodium than as that is not me. I would feel good if I did my job correct and in fact very bad if I would missuse my position to do wrong things or evade wrong things like my family member.
I would wish if this family member would stop being happier than he was before starting work in prison because it makes me think of what this person thinks of himself. It reveals his inner state. I read people like a book and it makes me feel bad knowing how small this person feels. Not in a sympathetic way. But bad that this person is like that. I would wish he were different. Not so small and insecure or whatever the correct word could be. I can tell by the way he talks about his work experience and the change I see in him how his inner state must look like.
In case its not clear what I mean... for example if this persons level of happiness would not change or if this person would not start feeling better by having a position were he dictates people around it would tell me that this person thinks high of himself or is confident. Now on the other hand if a persons behaviour and level of happiness changes by being given this position and becomes a bit egotistical also it makes me feel bad as I know this person has insecurities or is not genuinely does not think high of himself.
Hope that was clearer. I wonder if this is something that would bother everyone or if this is my 'disease' lol, an issue only for me, but not to the average person.
I guess I hate being around people who are not confident genuinely?? I dont know though
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sat, 10 Sep 2011 12:58:21 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I am going to stay with platina at this stage. It's doing a lot of good for me. Like the stability and not feeling bad after situations I usually would. And my deepest problem the BDD is really good at the moment. Don't know when the last time was when I was really stressed about my appearance.
I uses to go for many walks daily to force myself out of the house and face difficult situations so now I don't go out that much often anymore. There is no need for it.
I still believe palladium was no proving but just my natural state coming out which made
Me without a doubt think I need platina to get this intensity from my ego down.
So all is well at the moment except that I feel at times like something is missing in my life which is a life, where I do other things than just be on my own or with family
I uses to go for many walks daily to force myself out of the house and face difficult situations so now I don't go out that much often anymore. There is no need for it.
I still believe palladium was no proving but just my natural state coming out which made
Me without a doubt think I need platina to get this intensity from my ego down.
So all is well at the moment except that I feel at times like something is missing in my life which is a life, where I do other things than just be on my own or with family
vitamin.X last decade
Since I experienced how it is to feel good about yourself again or my bad feelings about myself fading I got to see how I am which is: lively, a character, just care about having fun with people. I am no leader, king or queen and try to appear good always. Not egotistic, bad, hurtful, critical etc.
A bit hard to believe that Platina is helping me. I would not have my doubts if I would take palladium and get the changes for the better. But on the other hand my pysichal symptoms do point to it I would think. THe numbness and heaviness on my chest.
Can someone who needs platina be lively, a character, dramatic?
I notice that after taking platina I am more okay with being at 'one' with everything than 'sepearate' But still at times wanting to be seperate rather.
EDIT: On a side note something that has always been going on in my mind but I just catched it today, while it didnt really feel intense at all is: Whenever I am a certain way I ask myself whether this is the best way to be? For example if I am lively, dramatic and a character I might look like this to people so is this a good way to be. How will I look to people? What type of people will like me? If I am this way can it be that people will reject me or not take me seriously? Or if I am this way and not another way on what all am I going to be missing out? Should I be someone else? Have a different personality?
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:12:49 BST]
A bit hard to believe that Platina is helping me. I would not have my doubts if I would take palladium and get the changes for the better. But on the other hand my pysichal symptoms do point to it I would think. THe numbness and heaviness on my chest.
Can someone who needs platina be lively, a character, dramatic?
I notice that after taking platina I am more okay with being at 'one' with everything than 'sepearate' But still at times wanting to be seperate rather.
EDIT: On a side note something that has always been going on in my mind but I just catched it today, while it didnt really feel intense at all is: Whenever I am a certain way I ask myself whether this is the best way to be? For example if I am lively, dramatic and a character I might look like this to people so is this a good way to be. How will I look to people? What type of people will like me? If I am this way can it be that people will reject me or not take me seriously? Or if I am this way and not another way on what all am I going to be missing out? Should I be someone else? Have a different personality?
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:12:49 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
2 dreams I had tonight:
One was that I was with my mother and brother shopping and in front of us were my brothers friends and I felt anxiety, totally avoided it and just once looked at the girl really anxiously. The feelings were that I felt I need to be a specific way. Or That I should be a certain way. Supposed to say and do something. But I dont know what. I am so uncertain and fear embarassing or humiliating myself therefore.
Or another way: I feel that I am supposed to be and act in a good way, like the great guy who socializes with ease. No its not specifically that. I cannot describe it. If I acted confident for example I would give an image. Its about that image, not ability or skills. I dont think I lack in that. Because if my fears go I can act confident and know how to act and what to do and give this image than to people... I really dont know why uncertainty, fear and lack of confidence hits me so hard in such situations as I feel I dont lack in it. Well I do once i get into such situations obviously but I cannot explain it why. I feel really uncertain socially as I dont know how people will react to me, what to expect. I dont know why. Its complete uncertainty where I dont know anything. Uncertain what to say, what if i say this or that, how am I going to look, how will people react? I dont know anything
The other dream was that I was with my brother and one of his friends. I wanted to show my brother a video I thought is cool on my computer. So we watched it a while, than I noticed it wasnt the video I wanted to show him, the wrong one and than I closed it and his friend than commented something that it wasnt interesting or good and we should go.
Also in the dream my older brother was living somewhere on his own and me somewhere on my own too. and my younger brother stayed with my older brother instead of me. I didnt like it. And all I can remember is that my mother was once coming in my house or room and I let my anger and frustration out on her and told her that she should leave me, I am angry and there were a few people outside my house who heard me be angry at my mother and yell at her. Which I didnt like, what are they going to think of me, or maybe that it was wrong to be angry so I felt fear a bit I guess.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:39:57 BST]
One was that I was with my mother and brother shopping and in front of us were my brothers friends and I felt anxiety, totally avoided it and just once looked at the girl really anxiously. The feelings were that I felt I need to be a specific way. Or That I should be a certain way. Supposed to say and do something. But I dont know what. I am so uncertain and fear embarassing or humiliating myself therefore.
Or another way: I feel that I am supposed to be and act in a good way, like the great guy who socializes with ease. No its not specifically that. I cannot describe it. If I acted confident for example I would give an image. Its about that image, not ability or skills. I dont think I lack in that. Because if my fears go I can act confident and know how to act and what to do and give this image than to people... I really dont know why uncertainty, fear and lack of confidence hits me so hard in such situations as I feel I dont lack in it. Well I do once i get into such situations obviously but I cannot explain it why. I feel really uncertain socially as I dont know how people will react to me, what to expect. I dont know why. Its complete uncertainty where I dont know anything. Uncertain what to say, what if i say this or that, how am I going to look, how will people react? I dont know anything
The other dream was that I was with my brother and one of his friends. I wanted to show my brother a video I thought is cool on my computer. So we watched it a while, than I noticed it wasnt the video I wanted to show him, the wrong one and than I closed it and his friend than commented something that it wasnt interesting or good and we should go.
Also in the dream my older brother was living somewhere on his own and me somewhere on my own too. and my younger brother stayed with my older brother instead of me. I didnt like it. And all I can remember is that my mother was once coming in my house or room and I let my anger and frustration out on her and told her that she should leave me, I am angry and there were a few people outside my house who heard me be angry at my mother and yell at her. Which I didnt like, what are they going to think of me, or maybe that it was wrong to be angry so I felt fear a bit I guess.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:39:57 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
So based on my dreams I doubt platina is my similimum. But in terms of improvements I feel good about it.
DOes any remedy stand out by above description of my last 2 dreams, and from the post above the '2 dreams' post where I describe that my personality is that I am lively, a character, and up for fun and joke a lot.... There are many different sides to me though as I dont like to limit myself to a specific personality. If I am the comedian for example I will never be the serious, responsible guy who is taken seriously for example. So I am changable
It is hard deciding on a career or a personality, whether if this is the best for me, whether I will get the most out of it. If I choose carrer there are a lot of other experiences I am excluding myself from, They are forever gone than, or my life could be completely different based on what career path I chose, so there will be things I will miss out. Or about my personality like I said if I am just the comedian I will never be the serious responsible guy who is taken seriously. I dont think about my personality much to not give the wrong impression. The thought crosses me a few times whether I want to be this way or whether I should be something else. Whether that would be better for me or whether I would like it more.
I guess its the same problem as my fear of missing out on my young years of partying, being with girls etc. It used to be a painful thought but right now I am stable suprisingly, dont feel pain.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:56:20 BST]
DOes any remedy stand out by above description of my last 2 dreams, and from the post above the '2 dreams' post where I describe that my personality is that I am lively, a character, and up for fun and joke a lot.... There are many different sides to me though as I dont like to limit myself to a specific personality. If I am the comedian for example I will never be the serious, responsible guy who is taken seriously for example. So I am changable
It is hard deciding on a career or a personality, whether if this is the best for me, whether I will get the most out of it. If I choose carrer there are a lot of other experiences I am excluding myself from, They are forever gone than, or my life could be completely different based on what career path I chose, so there will be things I will miss out. Or about my personality like I said if I am just the comedian I will never be the serious responsible guy who is taken seriously. I dont think about my personality much to not give the wrong impression. The thought crosses me a few times whether I want to be this way or whether I should be something else. Whether that would be better for me or whether I would like it more.
I guess its the same problem as my fear of missing out on my young years of partying, being with girls etc. It used to be a painful thought but right now I am stable suprisingly, dont feel pain.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:56:20 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
Had some recurrent themes in my dreams tonight.
- driving my car and fearing that police is chasing me.
- I was stuck in a position where I needed to get out - similar to the dreams of being stuck in an underground tunnel, or stuck in a car with to many people inside so that I cannot unstuck myself and get out which causes panic, what if I cannot breath anymore since I cannot move its scary... so in this dream I told people around that I give them any money they want just help me please to get unstuck but noone reacted and this made me feel horrible.
- fighting - I was in a school and group of peoples were wanting to fight me who was alone so we fought and while fighting they were ryhming some verses, like rap music. It was hard me alone against groups of 4 to 5 people attacking at the same time and had to defend myself. One of the groups were people I didnt dare walking past them in my neighbourhood a few days ago when I had aggravation.
- I was at the beach swimming and it was about sharks, fear of sharks I guess although I didnt see anyone, but cant remember the dream entirely.
I only can remember of dreaming about poison once before, so I ate popcorn and was told that the poison 'arnica' is in it and should stop eating it by a woman. Also remember that than 2 different females showed up I believe I was at a workplace wanting to work and I didnt like those females to be there. Maybe competition?? I want to be the one who everyone is interested in, not share it with 2 different females I guess. Although I dont get competive, or wished they were gone. I just feel bad and feel like I am not the center of attention now I guess. those 2 females came so I will probably loose it now is how I feel. Total depression. Its a fear that I will loose it. So the moment I notice they take over I get depressed and feel bad.
the dream ended when the 2 girls showed up a few seconds later and I felt bad.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:11:01 BST]
- driving my car and fearing that police is chasing me.
- I was stuck in a position where I needed to get out - similar to the dreams of being stuck in an underground tunnel, or stuck in a car with to many people inside so that I cannot unstuck myself and get out which causes panic, what if I cannot breath anymore since I cannot move its scary... so in this dream I told people around that I give them any money they want just help me please to get unstuck but noone reacted and this made me feel horrible.
- fighting - I was in a school and group of peoples were wanting to fight me who was alone so we fought and while fighting they were ryhming some verses, like rap music. It was hard me alone against groups of 4 to 5 people attacking at the same time and had to defend myself. One of the groups were people I didnt dare walking past them in my neighbourhood a few days ago when I had aggravation.
- I was at the beach swimming and it was about sharks, fear of sharks I guess although I didnt see anyone, but cant remember the dream entirely.
I only can remember of dreaming about poison once before, so I ate popcorn and was told that the poison 'arnica' is in it and should stop eating it by a woman. Also remember that than 2 different females showed up I believe I was at a workplace wanting to work and I didnt like those females to be there. Maybe competition?? I want to be the one who everyone is interested in, not share it with 2 different females I guess. Although I dont get competive, or wished they were gone. I just feel bad and feel like I am not the center of attention now I guess. those 2 females came so I will probably loose it now is how I feel. Total depression. Its a fear that I will loose it. So the moment I notice they take over I get depressed and feel bad.
the dream ended when the 2 girls showed up a few seconds later and I felt bad.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:11:01 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
So could you say that based on the post above this one (about my dreams of tonight with recurring themes) that they sound animal like with great certainty and not mineral or plant, as platina works at the moment
Is there a animal remedy that has numbness and tensions head, face, chest neck and oppresion or heaviness on chest like platina?
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:20:33 BST]
Is there a animal remedy that has numbness and tensions head, face, chest neck and oppresion or heaviness on chest like platina?
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:20:33 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
What has a shark, snake or police in common? I know what it is for me... but I am curious what other people would say, whether they would answer the same.
vitamin.X last decade
There was one more dream, one I dreamed before, that had similarity, which was looking in the mirror, smoking and all of a sudden my teeth getting stained, yellow and than falling out which left me feeling horrible: So tonight I dreamed my forehead was not nice and round, well normal looking, it was not a nice geometric shape but had a huge asymmetric thing, a curve that made me feel horrible
vitamin.X last decade
You always express animal themes. Your main problem is 'Me versus Them'. This has never changed in any post. 'I feel bad/inferior/powerful/superior compared to them' is one of the most basic animal feelings.
Numbness is a common symptom - on its own it probably won't point to a specific remedy.
The connection between things tells you something about the person, and is highly indiviual. It would only be the same if your group/remedy were the same unless the connection was an obvious and simple one.
Numbness is a common symptom - on its own it probably won't point to a specific remedy.
The connection between things tells you something about the person, and is highly indiviual. It would only be the same if your group/remedy were the same unless the connection was an obvious and simple one.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Ok I am going to trust you on this one than and take anthropleura as I believe I could be animal myself.
Ok thanks for still helping me as I know I have been rather difficult. I have something on my upper right eye lid since yesterday. Today I am thinking it could maybe be a proving. But it is very difficult to say because I have been scratching my eyes a lot from the oils I put on my sking getting into my eyes which makes them burn. So I believe it could be from the scratching
Ok thanks for still helping me as I know I have been rather difficult. I have something on my upper right eye lid since yesterday. Today I am thinking it could maybe be a proving. But it is very difficult to say because I have been scratching my eyes a lot from the oils I put on my sking getting into my eyes which makes them burn. So I believe it could be from the scratching
vitamin.X last decade
What has a shark, snake or police in common?
For me it means once they are onto you they got you, no escape. I bet thats why the police always makes me so anxious
For me it means once they are onto you they got you, no escape. I bet thats why the police always makes me so anxious
vitamin.X last decade
Don't take anything if Platina is working. Wait or you will create an interaction that will cause confusion.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
yea well, today I dont see any improvement so I assume its ok to take it. As last time I redosed 10 days after taking it because I felt the heaviness come back on my chest. So now its almost 13 days since the redose.
I felt a bit of pain in my head a few times today, like a sting for a second that comes and goes.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 05:47:12 BST]
I felt a bit of pain in my head a few times today, like a sting for a second that comes and goes.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 05:47:12 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
So I am a bit reluctant to switch from platina out of a fear that I might loose all the nice improvements. But on the other hand I dont think it is my simmilimum, not drastic life changing improvements. And I am ready to try something new. A bit suprised that I am ok with going away from the 'high' remedy, without a problem.
So I believe improvement has stopped for the past 2 days. I believe platina did a lot and I wonder if there is an animal equivalent of platina, if it exists. I dont need to worry about loosing improvements as I could always go back to it if I desired, but I believe I am animal remedy myself. That Platina only did as much as it could.
So I am thinking of taking anthropleura tomorrow morning if I will see no improvements.
So I believe improvement has stopped for the past 2 days. I believe platina did a lot and I wonder if there is an animal equivalent of platina, if it exists. I dont need to worry about loosing improvements as I could always go back to it if I desired, but I believe I am animal remedy myself. That Platina only did as much as it could.
So I am thinking of taking anthropleura tomorrow morning if I will see no improvements.
vitamin.X last decade
If anthroupleura wont work maybe next one could be lac caninum than
I saw a thread on here where you prescribed lac caninum and I could identify with itÂ… not being taken serious, put down, laughed at, lonely.
Took anthropleura now at midnight
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 12:54:12 BST]
I saw a thread on here where you prescribed lac caninum and I could identify with itÂ… not being taken serious, put down, laughed at, lonely.
Took anthropleura now at midnight
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 12:54:12 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
Don't change a remedy that has worked. You could very well lose your last chance to be cured. Persist with a remedy that has created improvements. If you start chopping and changing yet again, you can destroy whatever improvements you think you have got so far.
You are your own worst enemy, treating our medicines like they are toys you can take out and put away whenever you like.
You are your own worst enemy, treating our medicines like they are toys you can take out and put away whenever you like.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
hmm I took it at midnight as I said. I thought I am supposed to take it after 14 days and I noticed no more new improvemets. I thought I am an animal for certain and feel that Platina will not make me go back to society, have a life. I was looking a bit more in the mirror today and had a bit of anxiety when watching TV with family.
So it was wrong to take anthropleura, damn
So it was wrong to take anthropleura, damn
vitamin.X last decade
from what I understood i thought dont take it as long as platina is working which meant as long as it is giving improvements from last dose and than take anthropleura just so that there will be no confusion as to what did what. I thought its apparently clear that I need animal remedy. And I noticed nothing new for past 2 days
So you wanted me to stay with platina for as long as its working? Meaning to redose platina again? If that was the case I totally misunderstood it.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:48:57 BST]
So you wanted me to stay with platina for as long as its working? Meaning to redose platina again? If that was the case I totally misunderstood it.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:48:57 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
Do you think one or two doses of any remedy at just one potency will cure all your symptoms forever? It is unlikely. You will need to retake the remedy multiple times, probably adjusting the potency until either you are well, or it is clear the remedy will not help you any further.
The single biggest mistake people make is to change their remedies too soon.
Platina is your prescription, you are still running your own case here. I am just saying if you commit to a remedy you need to see it through to the end or you can miss your simillimum and will never find your way back. This especially will happen to you because you get bored and just change whenever some new idea occurs to you.
The single biggest mistake people make is to change their remedies too soon.
Platina is your prescription, you are still running your own case here. I am just saying if you commit to a remedy you need to see it through to the end or you can miss your simillimum and will never find your way back. This especially will happen to you because you get bored and just change whenever some new idea occurs to you.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Well I thought this to be true, that you will need more doses of a remedy before you will be cured. But you saying that if you are on your similimum you will know it because you wont ask questions made me doubt it a bit and made me think what Platina did was probably not enough than. Could not be similimum
I would have redosed with Platina if I knew that.
But one can always go back, right?
I looked in the mirror after waking up and noticed how my face looks fuller, face muscles getting bigger.
Well I was certain by you saying that I express animal themes always that I need animal remedy and I believed this to be true myself so I took it. It is what it is now.
Does one feel a sense of security in his stomach area only on similimum or can this happen on any remedy as well? I thought this was quite indicative of it. But on redose I didnt feel it as strong. I did get to feel my shoulders again though.
I felt a slight headache for the past 2 days every now and than about 10 times a day. Like a sting that would come and go quickly.
I would have redosed with Platina if I knew that.
But one can always go back, right?
I looked in the mirror after waking up and noticed how my face looks fuller, face muscles getting bigger.
Well I was certain by you saying that I express animal themes always that I need animal remedy and I believed this to be true myself so I took it. It is what it is now.
Does one feel a sense of security in his stomach area only on similimum or can this happen on any remedy as well? I thought this was quite indicative of it. But on redose I didnt feel it as strong. I did get to feel my shoulders again though.
I felt a slight headache for the past 2 days every now and than about 10 times a day. Like a sting that would come and go quickly.
vitamin.X last decade
Well please take charge than. Lets see what will happen from the anthropleura. I have no idea what to expect as I dont know anything about this remedy. Maybe I will have nothing to report this time if it wont work as I am not identified
Maybe after taking this animal I will not express animal themes again as always happens after taking an animal.
We will see.
I am slightly annoyed though, as I knew before that I cannot expect to think that all will be cured with a couple of doses, so it will not be a 100% clear whether similimum or not but it is what it is. I guess its my fault. And last thing I am gona do is blame someone else. As this makes one look really low.
No it is my fault. If I werent weak or approval seeking, have my own mind and not let myself be influenced by other peoples opinions this would have not happened. I wonder whether this sounds like animal or mineral. As I can see myself wanting to play the victim but I never allow myself to do that though but think of what I could have done different that this would have not happened. As I believe everything depends or is a result because of you (ME), like all good or bad things that happen are because of me, not the outside world... I would guess this still means animal but on top of it knowledge that I learned over the years.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:04:23 BST]
Maybe after taking this animal I will not express animal themes again as always happens after taking an animal.
We will see.
I am slightly annoyed though, as I knew before that I cannot expect to think that all will be cured with a couple of doses, so it will not be a 100% clear whether similimum or not but it is what it is. I guess its my fault. And last thing I am gona do is blame someone else. As this makes one look really low.
No it is my fault. If I werent weak or approval seeking, have my own mind and not let myself be influenced by other peoples opinions this would have not happened. I wonder whether this sounds like animal or mineral. As I can see myself wanting to play the victim but I never allow myself to do that though but think of what I could have done different that this would have not happened. As I believe everything depends or is a result because of you (ME), like all good or bad things that happen are because of me, not the outside world... I would guess this still means animal but on top of it knowledge that I learned over the years.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:04:23 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I used to have parents who were really controlling I would say. Like when going to buy myself clothes, my mother would show me clothes and when I said I didnt like this one than she would show me another one and if I didnt like it again insults would follow how I dont like anything and what is wrong with me etc. So its natural that I am a bit defensive whenever I get told what to do. It makes me feel like an idiot who is being pushed around and feel the need to defend myself, to make people stop and see I am not going to let myself be controlled or pushed around, that I am not an idiot who has not a mind of his own.
But often I feel uncertain and lost and wished someone would guide me which is also natural I guess from having parents like that. That you feel a bit uncertain about what is right or not. So its difficult to do things yourself how you think is right and not expect to get insulted or criticised in return. I believe I will get insulted.
So based on what I said I doubt platina was right anyway.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:23:38 BST]
But often I feel uncertain and lost and wished someone would guide me which is also natural I guess from having parents like that. That you feel a bit uncertain about what is right or not. So its difficult to do things yourself how you think is right and not expect to get insulted or criticised in return. I believe I will get insulted.
So based on what I said I doubt platina was right anyway.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:23:38 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I used to have a lot of anger towards my parents, especially my father and would think of the wrong things they did to me. My father never would let me be angry. So I had to keep it in me, but I hated it and thought what unjust is being done to me. At other times, later when I was older I would shake with anger but let it all out and not care, be angry and afraid at the same time.
I am not platina, because I never could hurt anyone. When I sometimes fought with my brother, a bit of pushing around, I would cry later and be angry at my brother that he made me fight him because I did not want to do it. And when I am angry I rarely attack people, I have been in no real fight ever anyway. I mostly just push people, or throw an apple lol. But it doesnt happen anymore, I try to control it all and take a higher way. I dont fight because I cannot hurt someone. I am rather a mild person who just wants to get along with everyone. But I have my bad side when I feel offended.
I am not platina, because I never could hurt anyone. When I sometimes fought with my brother, a bit of pushing around, I would cry later and be angry at my brother that he made me fight him because I did not want to do it. And when I am angry I rarely attack people, I have been in no real fight ever anyway. I mostly just push people, or throw an apple lol. But it doesnt happen anymore, I try to control it all and take a higher way. I dont fight because I cannot hurt someone. I am rather a mild person who just wants to get along with everyone. But I have my bad side when I feel offended.
vitamin.X last decade
Another example: A few years ago I was interested in psychology to study so I said something about how much psychologists earn and my mother replied that all psychologists are strange people so this made me afraid and think to myself psychology I cannot study. A few years later I hear that my mother decided to study psychology to be a social worker and I was angry. Like how is it now ok all of a sudden. I hated it, I felt great unjust been done to me. But I could not even confront my mother or ask her why studying psychology is now ok as my emotions would come up of embarassment as I dont know what she will say, and uncertainty etc So I was quiet about it and had to take it. I f I could confront her about it and not let people treat me this way I would feel much better about myself. But its hard, such situation would be so uncomfortable, when its about emotional stuff where I could feel embarassed or humiliated I rather avoid it.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:38:21 BST]
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:38:21 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
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