Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 17 of 44}

Yeah, belladonna sounds good to me. I have 30c, but feeling like LM is best, what do you think? I could order Belladonna 1LM and Ignatia 1LM. Mag Phos has mention (according to Boericke) of baseball cap sensation which I had described one time, but overall, feel that Ignatia fits me better. That's just my feeling though.

Ah, okay, yeah, I was looking at sleep problems due to hunger, not better by eating, two different things I guess. Though of course hunger will also interfere with my sleep, sometimes I will wake up early in the morning really really hungry. Not often, but once in a great while.

Yeah, always plenty of remedies to choose from, which is what makes homeopathy so effective and yet so confusing and difficult all at the same time. Knowing which remedy is best at any given time. My judgement is often clouded by my own involvement, so I trust your judgement, whatever your think. I guess again it comes down to since my case is so confusing, do we try to get something that covers as much as possible or do we get something thats close, maybe not quite as fitting but yet very specific to a peculiar symptom that I have, and then I guess which peculiar symptom.

I honestly wouldn't have any idea what to look for if someone had described that spikey thing to me like I did to you the other day. Where does one go with that? I mean possibly seeing things, but it was interesting that it wasn't just seeing a bug or something, it was a specific shape etc.

Today so far, mostly it's just been the lightness or feeling like I'm getting lighter, again the fear of death also seems to be related to the muscles relaxing. So I haven't quite come to a conclusion whether my muscle issue is being resolved and having had the muscles all over my body tensed up/contracted for seven years and now as if they are starting to loosen up if that is making me feel the sensations that I'm feeling as my body is reajusting all over or if there really is something going on. Is it possible that part of me is missing until this muscle issue clears up. Like part of me had to leave to unblock my healing of the muscle issue that's been plaguing me for so long. These are feelings I've had at times or intuitive feelings about my case.

So again, interesting aspect, today when came to my parents, felt like I was worse than at my own apartment. With the lightness, feeling like I'm going to come out of my body. As if feet aren't touching the ground. It just seems all so weird, when before I was feeling better here. Can't say there's been much else symptoms wise today.

Did have a dream last night about being back in school and one teacher who was especially tough was the theme of this dream so to speak. I had not done most of the work in the class and her final exam was worth 50 percent of the grade so I had to do well on it. But she's really tough, when I actually had this teacher in school I wrote about 15 pages to answer this one essay question and she gave me ZERO points for it. Still passed the class and graduated, but it was like I poured my heart out with effort answering this question and didn't even get any points, I don't know how I could have written that much and not even gotten ONE point.

So my fear was that I wasn't going to graduate. there was some rememberance of people from school that I knew, but can't remember now of anyone specific.

So it was mostly fear, anxiety, worry in the dream.

I do tend to have lots of dreams about school, pretty common thing for me.

So are you still thinking Belladonna for next remedy or not sure at this point? I think it's a good choice. Is there any information that would help to determine best. I'm not sure what else to say symptom wise. Laying down I do have the sensation again as if being pulled along. I wouldn't say floating above bed/sofa (whatever I'm laying on), but it doesn't seem like I'm all the way down either.

Here's something else. Those waves of energy I talk about moving through my body. This all started with my chronic pain, it just seems moreso now, and more like it's actually moving me whereas before I felt stable, now I feel almost like all I am is that energy moving all around.

It's a very odd sensaton John and not sure how to describe it, but back when it first started happening, or when I first really paid attention to it, I would say maybe three years ago or more possibly it felt like at night when I was laying in bed that there were these hands massaging my body, mostly just my lower body, legs. That was the only way I could think to describe it, but hands of energy. As if this energy was massaging my legs and it did seem like it was mostly ONLY at night and when laying down in bed. It would increase if I had heavier covers on, like the warmer I was.

Now it feels just more like this fuzzy energy that moves around my body somewhat chaotically and sometimes when it's this energy move, it makes me feel like I'm being physically moved.

Should have said massaging my muscles, because it was more like it was inside my leg than outside.

Had some dreams about being humiliated, taken advantage of.

Yesterday was a really bad day. Just with feeling really light, rocking back and fourth like on a ship.

I'm just very frustrated and tried John. I just feel like giving up. I feel like a dog chasing it's tail and that we can try remedies till we're blue in the face, but there's a reason I'm not allowed to get over this / get better.

May 8th may be responsible for current symptoms, but whatever is blocking has been going on my whole life. I thought maybe it was just responsible for my chronic pain, but I tend to think it's more than that even. Something just won't let my body respond the way it's supposed to, and I just have no idea what it is.

You know, over the years I've been to many different nutritional healers, chiropractors, homeopaths, herbalists, energy healers, people who use thousand dollar machines to pinpoint energetic and electrical imbalances in the body, a chiropractor who used a thermography machine on me to see the areas of heat in certain portions of the body and uses some kind of light therapy to heal nerves (Has worked miracles on all kinds of people), but I didn't notice a thing. And I've baffled the most knowledgable people because nothing works on me. Practitioners who have treated and cured end stage cancer successfully, treated parkinsons, MS, Alzheimers, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hepatitis, you name it the list goes on and on, yet nothing worked on me.

Will try the Sulphur, just extremely frustrated.

Ordering the Sulphur, but will wait to finalize, if there's anything else I should get while I'm at it, let me know.

You know, I have probably mentioned this before, but it seems like the very same thing that blocks me regarding my health, blocks me in life situations too. Like so many times, when I pursue a certain path, something drops in front of me. When I give up or turn away, that block usually leaves, but if I come back to it again, pursue it once more, another block will come right back. I've seen (even from an outsiders perspective so not that I'm just wrapped up in self-pitty), this kind of thing happen to my parents too, many times where they will set out to do something and something strange/unusual that comes out of nowhere that prevents them from being able to proceed, then they ultimately change their mind and go another direction and then things start falling into place perfectly that they could have pursued what they were previously after, but only after they kind of burned bridges so that option is no longer viable. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just feel like there's a connection.

Wow, when Annette and I were close in Indiana, she started experiencing some of the same symptoms as me, like the feeling of falling through the bed, feeling as if there were Ghosts in her apartment, started being extremely unhappy and depressed, and so she started distancing herself from me, didn't want to be around me because she felt like there was some energy hanging around and the odd thing was she said, 'Steve, I don't understand this, because it's not you, it's not your personality, but there's something else that's making me feel this way.'

Wouldn't surprise me if your experience was associated. But what the heck is this that is so heck bent against me. Like I said, I highly doubt if May 8th is the real source of this thing working against me. It was there through my chronic pain too, long before I was doing any dowsing or anything that would have left me open other than the fact I've always been so sensitive/open. But yeah, whatever it is, it seems when I'm around, other people feel worse. My one coworker at this new job, all of a sudden has come down with some strange pains that are not diagnosable. It just seems to follow me.

My guess would be you're on the right track, you must be posing a threat to whatever this is.

Actually don't have any potencies of Sulphur, but should be able to pick up 6C or 30C at health food store today.

Do you feel like the lachesis helped you, i know you said it may have been too strong, but did it help with your fear, jumpiness? Yeah Irritated, I definitely get easily irritated.

Something else John, when I feel worse, my immediate reaction too is always to isolate myself from everyone, alienate everyone. Like yesterday when I was worse, I was conviently also fed up with the phone company because my bill was NOT the price they quoted me online, so obviously somebody was trying to fill their quota and add some extras on. So my feeling right away is, 'Fine you know what, I don't need a phone, I'm just gonna cancel it.' And been waiting on Comcast for my tv/internet and it's just like, 'You know, heck with cable, I don't need that either, I'll save some money on both accounts.' But really, it gets back to me withdrawing from everyone, shutting off all forms of communication. So I can stay trapped in my whatever it is.

This has been going on for years too. I think most of my life, I spent in my room with my door closed trying to escape life. Trying to hide from things that I didn't want to deal with, people I didn't want to see, things I didn't want to do. Better to stay pent up and read my books and watch movies by myself and dream of life as it should be as opposed to how it actually is, because nothing ever works out for me, so my imaginary world is safer than the real world.