Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 18 of 44}

Something else John, when I feel worse, my immediate reaction too is always to isolate myself from everyone, alienate everyone. Like yesterday when I was worse, I was conviently also fed up with the phone company because my bill was NOT the price they quoted me online, so obviously somebody was trying to fill their quota and add some extras on. So my feeling right away is, 'Fine you know what, I don't need a phone, I'm just gonna cancel it.' And been waiting on Comcast for my tv/internet and it's just like, 'You know, heck with cable, I don't need that either, I'll save some money on both accounts.' But really, it gets back to me withdrawing from everyone, shutting off all forms of communication. So I can stay trapped in my whatever it is.

This has been going on for years too. I think most of my life, I spent in my room with my door closed trying to escape life. Trying to hide from things that I didn't want to deal with, people I didn't want to see, things I didn't want to do. Better to stay pent up and read my books and watch movies by myself and dream of life as it should be as opposed to how it actually is, because nothing ever works out for me, so my imaginary world is safer than the real world.

The other thing I guess that comes to mind, if there is indeed psychic influence working here, what is the agenda. What is at the root.

Okay, John, and here's something too, mentioning sexual energy. I can verify that usually around the time I'm feeling worse, there is increased desire. Like I feel like it's not even me, it's this maniacal energy working through me, or coming out through me, needing to fulfill it's purposes, desires or something. This was more so when it was my chronic pain than with newer symptoms, but still some correlation I feel.

In order to stop the psychic influence, we would need to know what it's purpose is, right, in order to match energy, or to really nail the central issue behind it in order for a remedy to be successful, at least that's my thinking, because it seems like being close isn't enough, needs to be exact. Well, not exact, but as similar as possible. Like no room for error as in cases where two remedies might accomplish the same task becaue they are close enough in energy to the condition, but this condition seems less forgiving if it's not the best match.

If I run to the healthfood store to get Sulphur, should I also get 6c and 30c of Belladonna/Nux. I actually have Belladonna and Nux in 30c and Nux in 200c, but had them prior to may 8th, so not sure if best to start with fresh remedy.

Will check for LM's when there, but don't think they tend to carry a lot of LM's.

Okay, no luck with any LM's and no luck with any 30C's of Stramonium, Lachesis or others.

And they didn't even have Sulphur in 30c. I did however get 6c and they sold me a 1M thinking it was the same as LM. Thought I would get it for future just in case, you never know, and also because they never let me buy higher than 30c, not usually, so I got lucky.

Also got Ignatia 30c because I don't have Ignatia in any potency either.

Well, I felt pretty bad this morning and part of afternoon (lightness, feeling like more energy was in the upper part of my body, not the lower part, not as if the legs were cut off, but as if they weren't quite all there, almost like when walking I have to concentrate hard on the lower part of my body, feeling like I'm trying to stay in it), again though, eating lots of food helped, cause I got better after I ate.

Umm, just that eating helped the symptoms. I Have noticed that I have more trouble late morning, early afternoon with being hungry than I do in the evenings now. It's beginning to be a common thing that I get hungry but don't feel like I have low blood sugar type sensation in the evenings. Lunch time this is not so. And this is when the symptoms were the worst, today, and seem to be progressing that way, as far as being typical. So probably more hungry around noon/early afternoon. But maybe hunger is not the word, because I definitely get hungry in the evening too, but it's more a must eat because of the lightness, feeling of low blood sugar, not sure if fainting is the word, but I suppose low blood sugar could relate to that.

usually comes on suddenly, and normally I don't inhale stuff, but eat pretty much. I'm much happier when I have stuff to munch on all day long, to be constantly eating, here and there, rather than eating a whole bunch at one time, which is usually what I end up doing. But usually need to eat even past the point of being full, like even when I feel full, I need to continue eating until I am so stuffed I can't possibly eat any more, that helps with the lightness the most.

The only thing that has changed is the evenings being better. That has been new since Natrum Muriaticum. Or at least becoming a pattern since that.

Hmm, will have to pay attention to that more, but feel that it's best after eating rather than during eating.

Head felt really light last night, almost like I had no head, invisible, lots of feeling dizzy, objects jumping, moving side to side. Started around 11:00, was really hungry, and head got better about 15-20 minutes after, but still not normal. Also the increased rocking with the light head.

Dose of sulphur in morning, woke up early so decided to take it. Seemed to get very nauseous immediately after, but only lasted a short while. Body seemed more solid, not as light also soon after taking it, but soon passed, still better since sulphur but not quite as good as immmediately after. I think it helped some with the lightness in head too, like felt like it was there again. Nothing else so far.

Oh and last night when the head was really light or felt like it was invisible, felt like I had energy in the lower part of my body, like all the energy was in my lower part of my body, so felt like I was touching the ground. When my head was so light, I was shaking my head back and fourth and couldn't even tell that I had a head, it was so odd, like didn't even feel bones or muscles or anything, as if there was nothing physical at all. That feeling did come back (physical feeling) after eating and after the Sulphur, I immediately noticed a sensation in my neck, not sure what it was, all I can is that I noticed my neck, felt it was there and felt like my head/brain was reconnected to it again, and then head started getting a little better again, more solid, or at least physical like I knew I had a head, even more so than after eating.

It was around 5:00 I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Was hot, restless, tired, just couldn't sleep.

How are you feeling today?

More like the base of the neck, closest to the shoulders. I want to say just the middle, but I think really it was all over, both the sides and the middle at the bottom of the neck, and even though that wasn't the part of the neck which gets close to the head, the fact of the neck coming back to awareness, made the head feel better as if the head was there too.

You know, thinking about things some more, I think that the laughing at things inappropriately, it's not like obvious to other people always, more inward, or a smirk/grin, rather than making a scene outloud or something, but I think that was something I have had tendency to do throughout life. Not often, but here and there.


Am up in another store today working on computers for the company and I don't know if just too much time sitting and thinking while this is going on, but I was thinking more about the sulphur and trying to see if there was anything else I noticed and all of a sudden I start having thoughts like, 'You're a jerk Steve.' (Normally it's I'm an idiot or loser, usually never have that internal dialogue say I'm a jerk). And I also had the thought that I should smash the companies computers, maybe destroy, but the thought more of just smashing them. I didn't have any desire to really act out on it, just a thought. Then just started thinking things like my boss is a fat slob, just generally not nice thoughts about things, people. Kind of short lived. So I don't know if it's really important or not, just thought I'd mention it.