Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 34 of 44}

The times when I described pain at waist line, it's just at the waist line, not extending from kidneys. Maybe a little bit higher than waist line, I just feel like it might be more referred from Kidneys.

Well, if you believe the connection between ears and kidneys (Chinese medicine), when I was a child I had ear infections all the time.

Plus, the bedwetting which I personally feel could be kidney related.

Other than that, the only real time I remember having kidney pains was the time I was on Accutane and had such horrible pain, might have been both sides, but thinking right side stands out more.

Also, May 8th, after the incident, I had tested my kits and got Kidney (Fear) as primary.

Otherwise really no real Kidney isssues in health history. But it certainly seems like something going on with them now.

Grandfather on dad's side I believe had kidney issues. And grandmother on mom's side with Lupus which can cause issues with many organs/systems also seems to have some kidney weakness, but not necessarily full blown kidney disease.

I think it was shortly after my chronic pain started in 98 that I felt like I was drinking water and it was going right through me, the frequent urination to the point of going to the bathroom every half hour.

Also, off and on high blood pressure started after that.

Similar lower back pains (waist line) also started after Accutane and Chronic pain, and think it was kidney related then.

Didn't get to sleep again until about 4:30 this morning.

Around 11:30 sensation of head being light or gone or energy down below the head, no energy in head. Sensation of stuff on throat again as if something were draining out of head. ALong with that, the sensation of the body pressurizing/depressurizing (the elevator sensation). Rocking/bouncing/bobbing sensations etc.

Nerves feel shot. I've just been really burned out the past week or so, even before the Lachesis. Today especially because of not sleeping well again.

It's almost like I'm drained and exhausted the way I was before May 8th, like the heaviness I felt before then, but hasn't quite translated into the heaviness in the body yet, like I still feel light in some respects. And not sure how much of that feeling drained/exhausted is from not sleeping well.

Well, because I've been sleeping through my alarm in the mornings, I've been coming into work later and just working late. Like instead of working 9 to 5. I came in at 10 and worked till 6.

Also interesting, when I have the pressurizing/depressurizing sensation or the elevator thing, there is of course the feeling like I'm going to die, come out of body, but I had it in class today (I have to take a tax class on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the morning 10-1), and had the same reaction as when it happens in the car. In the car I want to run everybody over on the road, impatience, have no time for anybody driving slow or waiting on lights etc, just want to keep going, keep moving.

Same thing in class today, we were at the end of class taking a quiz and I had no desire whatsoever to sit there and read the word problems. Had the elevator feeling, feeling like I was going to die/come out of body and then was just like, 'Who cares about this problem, let's just get onto the next one, yeah, yeah, whatever, let's just move on, I don't care, so what, let's keep going, I don't have time for this, etc. etc.' (That was my thought pattern). And along with that the start of getting irritable/angry.

Same thing in car, if I have to stop for a light, or slow down because somebody is going slower, I get irritable angry. I might be stopped for 2 seconds and already I'm throwing a fit because I have to stop. But it's only because I feel like I need to keep moving because of the sensations (rocking etc). When I don't have those sensations I'm fine to sit at a light or wait, or take time on problems in the quiz because I took a quiz the first class too and didn't react like that.

I think I'm also just really stressed out at work more than previously and it's only going to get worse from here on out. It will be 10 times worse when tax season is here and they want me to work 13 hours a day 7 days a week. I'm dreading it already because I know I can't handle it, I'm going to fall apart.

Around 2:30/2:35 I started feeling heavier, like almost completely normal, felt like I was more down in my body, more in my body like I wasn't as likely to come out. Limbs felt heavier.

Then later on around 3:00 I noticed a burning sensation in my right nostril and in my sinuses on that side. And the pain went up to my head and caused a numb pain headache on the right side on top. Like the brain freeze thing from eating cold ice cream too fast.

Then it was still burning in the right sinus/nostril and started getting pains in my temples on both sides and later again off and on pain in the head and pain in the temples, kind of alternating.

Started getting lighter again after the burning in the nose and head pain/temples started.

Also had some fullness in the right ear again, as if it were blocked/stopped up with some itching.

Mostly only before sleep, helps me to sleep. Since Lachesis, definitely much less desire, but also unable to sleep too, not sure if there's a connection there.

Slept better last night. Some dreams, don't really remember them though. Just really feeling tired/drained lately.

Just really feeling apathetic / indifferent / don't care, don't want to do anything, don't want to try, give up, quit, who cares, the whole works. I feel lately like Mentally I'm totally back where I was before May 8th, but physically I'm still stuck after May 8th.

Add Sadness/Unhappiness to the list. All of this is nothing new though.

Was feeling like that this morning and all of a sudden it just goes away, like out of nowhere the depression / sadness / apathy etc. just greatly reduced.

Been thinking about your previous question and not quite sure what to say.

Possibly effect afterwards could be a draining / exhaustion / increased sensitivity to pain, increased sensitivity of nerves. And at same time, helps to relieve tension.

Not sure about before.

Mostly just helps with insomnia, because my body gets very tired, but my mind doesn't shut off (like Coffea Cruda, but don't think it's necessarily Coffea), like my mind/brain doesn't get tired. Doesn't matter how tired I am physically, if my mind doesn't get tired too I can't sleep. And same applies the other way. If I am physically not tired at all, but out of nowhere my brain starts to feel tired, I can go to sleep no matter what time of day just because my brain/mind is tired/sleepy.

In fact, physical activity before bed wakes me up. If I were to exercise before bed I would be up half the night not because I'm not physically tired, but because my brain isn't tired.

Brain/mind seems to be more tired in the morning and more awake at night.

Usually just once a day before bed on going to sleep, not always everyday though. Was more when I was younger though.

And usually desire comes and goes in spurts. Like out of nowhere I'll have excessive desire and then other times I won't even think about it or have absolutely no interest. Couldn't do anything even if I wanted to. Just like everything else it all seems to be very random and come and go.

Also have been having a lot of urging to urinate. I used to be this way and can't say for sure when it seemed to get better after we started the remedies, but since the Lachesis, definitely started up again. There is intense urging (better from movement) but yet when I actually go, I go very little and yet I feel like I'm gonna have to stand there all day as bad as I feel I have to go.

The past couple days too I just keep feeling like I'm lacking a connection to my body. Still feel like there might be something magnetic/electrical.

Not really comfortable posting about this, but beyond that, I don't really know what to say. I don't know what useful information I can provide on this. You would think Phos-Ac should have brought a better result if it were the main issue.

I know what's wrong with my nerouvs system, I just don't know what it is. Prior to my chronic pain I had what looked like a bite on my foot and severe cellulitis in the right leg. Months after that I had a pain that started in the right groin, spread down my right leg (over a period of months), then over to my left groin, started spreading down the left leg, then to my left arm starting from the wrist and spreading to my shoulder, then went to my right arm and starting from the wrist and spreading up. All this over a period of months and there was about a 3 month break between the legs and arms. Whatever caused that is what weakened my nerves. Because I could literally feel whatever it was traveling through my nervous system contracting/tensing up my muscles beyond my conscious control. I always felt like my nervous system was burning out from holding my muscles in a contracted state constantly for so long.

Then the dowsing and May 8th 2005 was the icing on the cake with the severe fright was a shock that the nervous system couldn't handle.

So the odd thing is that when my body feels the lightest, my muscles are relaxed in parts of my body. WHich you would think is good, but I don't think it is, because it's more of a sensation where I'm getting some control back because all my 'energy' has left my body or I'm almost totally out of body.

The feeling like lack of connection to my body is not really something new, it's just become more evident, or I feel it to be true more stronly than I did before.

Like I'm more sure now than I was before that I'm lacking a connection to my body, that I'm lacking a relationship with my body, that I'm avoding being in my body or that I don't want to be in my body, something along those lines. And I know the reason I wouldn't want to be in my body is May 8th. Almost like trying to coax a scared child to try something again after being frightned.

Problem still is, why I have times where I feel totally connected an then doesn't last long.

At once point an energy healer told me I was being pushed/forced out of my body, but wasn't sure why.

Had a dream about my great uncle last night in a positive light. Which is different than in real life. I don't ever even like to visit or see him anymore because everytime I do he belittles you and I come away feeling so humiliated and like such a loser, so I just totally avoid him. Never want to see him.