Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 3 of 44}

With the letters it could just be that I'm always concerned what other people think of me (which is all the time, not just writing letters). And also just that I take everything seriously and tend to play out scenarios in my mind. Try to think of everything that could possibly happen to any given situation, try to figure everything out before it happens (don't want to make the wrong decision, or do the wrong thing). So I tend to create a lot of stress for myself with this thinking, because I tend to think out so many scenarios that it makes it even tougher to make any decisions.

I'm very honest and usually never lie unless A.) I don't feel comfortable with someone and don't want them to know how I really feel. B.) I'm trying to avoid an argument, trying to keep peace in a situation. C.) Too embarrased to tell the truth.

No, never been treated for sexual diseases and haven't been involved with anyone in a way that I would be at risk. Have had very few relationships and even fewer that were serious in any shape or form.

Don't know if you're familiar with the book by Phillip M. Bailey, 'Homeopathic Psychology: Personality Traits Of the Major Constitutional Remedies.' I don't have the book, but was able to view some of the pages on amazon for free and Phosphorus fits me to a T. I have Clarke's 3 Volume Set and Robin Murphy's Homeopathic Remedy Guide, but really like the book I mentioned as it gives a really good feel for the mentals. Phosphorus was the remedy I originally came up with even back before all this began on May 8th, when I was using my pendulum to select intuitively my constitutional remedy. I picked the remedy first, then read the description of it later, and was amazed how well it described me. Whether or not there is something spiritual going on here, I still think there is something that should help, should make a difference in this situation.

The same problem I'm having now with healing these strange and unsual symptoms (since May 8th) I encountered the same problem before any of this began with my Chronic Pain, where I could never seem to get relief for long, and I was never able to figure out why. I have energetic testing kits (with body parts, toxins, nutrition that have the enrgetic frequency of the item, like an isopathic remedy). WOrks very good to figure out diagnositically what is wrong. When I was dealing with just my chronic pain, it seemed that if I treated one issue that came up, the problem would just shift somewhere else, like it would just move around. For example, if Brain seemed to be the problem, I'd make a remedy for that, then it would be Liver, then I would treat that and then it would be Adrenal, etc. etc. It didn't seem like the problem was really going away it was just moving to another part of the body. Like there was something within me that was just able to resist or evade whatever I did.

I do believe my current symptoms/complaints are direcetly related to the incident on May 8th. I've read articles by homeopaths that say that sometimes emotional traumas require 50M or even CM to clear a deep rooted trauma. I can tell you that in my kits the emotional PAST TRAUMA vial comes up a lot for me and also the psychosomatic (not that it's all in my head or I'm making it up), but that there's some area of my body that is not able to forget an emotional stress that occured, like I'm still storing it, the memory of it and not able to get over it. I don't know if it's emotions that are blocking the case from progressing. If on that day because of the brush with death (if that's what it was, it seemed like it) caused some part of me to split off. I really don't know what to say.

I had a dream two nights ago where my grandmother of all people was amputating my right leg with a pliars of all things. But when my leg was chopped/cut off, I wasn't all that concerned about my leg (other than the fact of feeling like there was no reason for my leg to be cut off and why was this being done), but I remember looking at my fingertips and blood was squirting out of them (oddly enough, I saw blood coming out of my fingertips rather than my leg, I was terrified).

A dream I had last night, where I was in a hostage situation and someone decided to shoot my dad who was next to me and I was the second person right after him, but as always, when I have dreams about getting shot (Have had lots of them), I never die, never lose consciousness, I always either pretend I'm dead till the bad guys leave and continue to live, or I wake up from my dream before I lose consciousness and die.

Usually when I pick remedies intuitively again I'll get that intital response where it seems like they work, but not after that. Like the Psorinum, I picked that intuitively. And it's almost like it's enough to jolt my system intitally, but then there's something compensates to prevent the remedy from working further. Your first message to me you mentioned layers. The Dr. who put the kits together that I have feels the same way that when I get that type of response it's just a layer process that I'm going through and I need to find the next thing.
The other day I received some new vials for Brain from him with some frequencies for different parts of the Brain I didn't have before. Found that scar tissue was the primary toixn affecting the Brain. When I made a remedy for it, the first dose, the noise in my head/ears, like that ringing, humming or whatever went away, almost instantly. The rocking back and fourth sensations got better, and definitely felt improvement from it. But again, within a few hours the symptoms came right back.

Having focused on this and worked on this for so long, and just being emotionally involved, I am not able to really get a clear read on my situation as to what's gong on, like I don't know if what I think is just something I'm just thinking, or if I'm really intuitively getting something about it, it all blends together at this point. However, my best guess as to what's happening is that either A.)The remedies I've tried are not strong enough B.) The remedies are not deep acting enough, almost like it's only getting through to the first couple layers and not able to get past some block that is preventing it from getting to a deeper level where the problem needs to be attacked. C.) There is just something that I'm missing that is preventing the remedies from doing their job.

I do think the right remedy needs to powerfully affect the Brain (Mental) and Emotions. I have gotten much better results in response to trying to affect the Brain more than anything else I've tried. And I'm sure the newest thing I've tried for the Brain is why I had those vivid dreams the past two nights, cause I haven't had such a clear/vivid dream for a long time. Symptoms are worse when I'm tired (brain is tired), and also from the slightest emotions. I do also get that it's more of a mental block than a physical one, but what in particular I have no idea. Wish I could offer more insight.

Since you asked what I get intuitively, I went through my kit of 150 homeopathics.

Here's the ones that I got:

Asterias Rubens
Coffea Cruda
Dutura Stramonium
Gelsemium
Iodium
Kali Bromatum
Kali Muriaticum
Lithium Carbonicum
Lycosa Tarentula
Medorrhinum
Natrum Carbonicum
Physostigma
Pyrogenium
Spongia
Veratrum Album

Then what I do is find the one that is best by holding one and seeing if I no longer get that any of the others are needed (intuitively yes or no). Natrum Carbonicum was the one I got, which is also one you had mentioned as a possible.

The book I mentioned earlier, there are many aspects of Nat Carb that fit me, such as anxiety on meeting people and in uncomfortable company / social situations. Generally anxious/nervous. Timid, easily startled by noises.

And much of what Allen writes under the mentals of Nat Carb fit me. Likes to sing, joylessness, great melancholy, apprehension, timidity, indifference, sluggish mood.

Kent mentions about when reading, soon forgets previous page after reading, or even a sentence that was just read. And that is very much like me, often have to go back and reread things, or forget things short term.

Both parents say that they were never treated for any veneral disease, and never had sexual partners other than each other.

Thought of something else, that often have the feeling that I'm not alone, even when I am alone. Like will often look over my shoulder, expecting to find someone there. Sometimes it's a feeling as if someone were behind me at a distance, other times a feeling as if they were right over my shoulder.

Thanks, will do.

Hi John,

Okay, I woke up early Tuesday morning, took the remedy then around 5:30, went back to sleep for another two hours.

When woke up, already noticed a difference, felt like the rocking sensation back and fourth, both myself and the things around me had significantly improved.

Driving to work that morning, felt like I was in a daze, as if my mind/thoughts were empty/blank. Something didn't seem right. As if nothing had any meaning.

I did feel heavier, more physical, not so light. And this response was unlike any I've had before to other remedies. Like I just felt like I was more in my body, felt like I had a physical body. Even felt like for the first time, I was able to walk normally, not have to be so careful with every
step because of the dizzy, bobbing up and down sensation.

Around 11:30 felt like it wore off - bobbing up and down/rocking back and fourth sensation came back. Most irritating is feeling like it's not just me, but the environment around me moving around, like it's hard to keep my eyes focused on something, confusion in the head because of the dizziness in the head in addition to feeling within my body. Felt lighter again, not heavy and physical, almost as if made of a gaseous substance.

Later, around 3:00 I felt the heaviness come back, felt solid, grounded, in my body, physical again.

Then around 6:00 the lightness seemed to return. Seemed to get better after eating, but really the more the evening went on and the more tired I got the more the sensations seemed to return.

Didn't sleep very well last night, woke up around 2:00 and didn't get to sleep until around 3:00. Felt like the symptoms were worse at that time, felt the dizziness, or rocking back and fourth or bobbing up and down or whatever it is moreso and felt light, felt like I was going to come out of my body, just kind of a feeling of being afraid I was going to die, but nothing I haven't experienced before.

This morning, feel heavier again, okay for now. I mean still have the sensations of bobbing up and down in water some, but very little compared to usual. Only that one time first thing in the morning did I have that sensation of feeling like I was in a daze.

That's the odd thing, I can't really say other than the fact that it was getting closer to lunch time and maybe I was getting hungrier, same thing with the worse around 5:00. 11:30 work was quiet, nothing really major going on, not like there was anything stressful, in fact, I really wasn't even aware of the fact that it was 11:30 until I started feeling worse, then before I even looked at the clock I knew what time it was.

But then what doesn't make sense is that the 3:00 time I was in a meeting (which started at 1:00), and it wasn't like the meeting was ending or anything, not like it was anxiety, tension or anything. I just don't know.

Today the same thing occurred, where I was worse around 11:20 - 11:30, this time we were driving to another store which was an hour West. Feel like I'm always worse going west, but maybe it's just when heading into a bigger town/area. Like the energy in busy areas tends to just rob my energy, just drains me. So I don't know if that does it.

Based on the five element theory (Traditional Chinese Medicine), my symptoms seem to be on the exact pattern of the FIRE element. Fire element starts at 11:00, and ends at exactly 3:00. Then starts up again around 7:00. But Kidney starts at 5:00. I just can't come up with anything, it seems so random. Usually when there is something emotional, I will know 'Yes, I'm feeling worse because I was upset about this or that, etc, but it wasn't anything like that.' I can tell you that I've always been a person who mentally doesn't really wake up until around 11:00, so maybe that's it. I'm kind of slow mentally in the mornings and feel like I don't really wake up unti late morning. Then usually around 10:00 I start to get slow mentally again at night and interestingly, that's when symptoms seem to get better. Even sleeping, like last night, I couldn't sleep because I didn't feel that tiredness in my mind. It doesn't matter how tired my body is, if my brain doesn't start shutting down there is no way I can sleep, people don't believe me when I say that, but it's true. It's also the time when I tend to feel spacey or out of it, cause my mind is just so tired. I always joke with people, that my brain shuts down at 10:00-10:30, and it's so true. Yet at the same time, I'm a person who likes to stay up late, past that time, feel as if I have more energy in the evenings than I do the morning or during the day. So in a way it's contradictory.

Almost total return this afternoon of symptoms. Most notably around 4:00, (had been a long day and was just tired, ready to get home, still in the bigger city at that point) started getting the rocking back and fourth/bobbing up and down big time. Another way to describe it would be is if you know the feeling you get when you're on an elevator and it doesn't matter if you're going up, or going down, but when the elevator is moving and then comes to a stop, you know that split second where you almost feel like your feet are off the ground, you feel like an atmopsheric pressure change or something, or like a 'SWOOP' feeling, well, that's the same sensation I feel, though it's usually constant, a feeling as if I'm swwoping up and down or something. Always have a sensation of lightness of body. And lightness of the head too. When my symptoms improve, my head usually gets heavier, when they are worse, my head is always lighter, and then so is the rest of me.

Forgot to mention in my original post that I took the remedy in 30c potency.

I've thought about this quite a bit, and no, can't say there is anything new at all. I'm very sensitive to any changes and I usually pick up on something right away, but everthing I've noticed has been stuff I've experienced before. Been trying to document symptoms that come up so I don't forget it.

Actually, you know, one thing, not huge, but maybe a slight bit, I've noticed a small decrease in the amount of negative thoughts going through my head. Just thought about that now, usually there's this voice that always likes to say things like, 'you're stupid, you're an idiot, you're a loser,' you know, just general negative things and often when I go to think about something the bad outshadows the good, and probably moreso the first day tha today I felt like I hd a stronger positive voice than a negative outshadowing the positive if that makes sense.

Darker yellow urination when I went earlier today, but could have just been not enough fluids. Didn't notice anything later as far s darkness. Possibly less foamy (urine is usually very foamy), cause usually I notice that and didn't. Drank a lot of water this afternoon (very humid), and normally when I drink even a small cup I'm going every half hour it seems, wasn't the case todady.

Tongue seems to be less coated (not as white coated in the back), but that does seem to alternate sometimes, hard to say if that' related or not.

Can't say there's been anything different stool wise at all.

Ate something before going to bed last night, but then when woke up and couldn't sleep, felt empty already after only a couple hours, like I should eat something else. I didn't then, but felt hungry and it was when symptoms were worse again.

Maybe less sneezing, usually when I sneeze I sneeze at least 3 or 4 times. Several times, sneezed only one time.

Yeah, usually sneeze a lot, maybe several times a day, but when each time I have to sneeze, usually it's 4 or 5 times in a row 3 or 4 times a day. Sometimes it's dust. Almost always happens when first going out in the sun. Sometimes it's after I eat something (maybe allergies). On my dad's side, family has history of getting bad sinus infections. I guess sometimes it could be the pollen too. Today again, this morning after eating I had to sneeze, but again only once, which again is unusual for me because I NEVER sneeze less than 3 times at one time. And yesterday I just only noticed the one time during the day, don't remember exactly what was going on at the time, but then didn't notice anything the rest of the day.

I was really hungry last night. Ate a decent amount of food around 6:00 and then by 8:00 was really hungry again. But this time it wasn't so much anything in particular, it was more of a 'I'm really hungry, but I don't know what I want.' It wasn't like I was craving carbohydrates like usual or anything sweet, I just wanted food, but couldn't really think of anything that I really wanted. So I ended up just throwing together some salsa and refried beans and having a dip for tortilla chips.

Also not something new, but something I forgot to mention, is that I tend to have bags/dark circles under the eyes. This is pretty constant. Worse with less sleep. One time somebody drew a cartoon character of me and they had put dark lines under the eyes, and they pointed that out as a major feature of mine, that I always have them, so I guess it's more noticeable than I thought. And definitely worse when I don't sleep well or even just when really tired.

Last night's sleep was much better than the previous night, didn't have any problems falling asleep or staying asleep. We had lost power at our house, so I went to my grandmas and slept over night. Slept straight through, didn't wake up at all. Pretty sure I had a dream last night, but no idea what it was. Same thing the previous night, had a dream, but didn't remember it on waking.

Something else I didn't mention, nothing new related to the remedy, but I'd say only since I've been home, within the past couple months I've noticed that my vision has gotten a lot worse. I've had glasses (needed for distances) since I was 13/14, but usually only wear them to drive, cause my feeling is that they act as a crutch and not wearing them all the time helps maintain my current vision and I haven't had to change my prescription since I got them. Lately though, my vision has been noticeably worse, having to really squint to see things that I used to be able to see a few months ago fine.

Stool today seems flat, not shaped or formed, not rounded like usual, and lighter than usual.

I tend to get out of breath easily, but one or two times now I've had a case (since the remedy) where I've almost felt like for a brief second I couldn't get air, or like stopped breathing for a second or something, gasping to catch breathe, again, NOT MAJOR at all, not to the point where I should be concerned and wasn't even sure if this was all that important to mention. And in one case it was a situation where I was in relaxed mode and got a phone call from a boss needing information and I'm always wanting to do things in a hurry, get them information right away, don't keep them waiting. And they even said to me, 'sounds like you're out of breath.'

Then it was silly, but after I got off the phone, I couldn't get the thought out of my head and I started having the sensation / fear that I was going to die because I couldn't breathe, like I was never worried about that before and now all of a sudden, I had this great fear in my mind that I couldn't breath or I was going to stop breathing. And then got a sharp pain in my right ear, like an ear ache for maybe a minute at most.

You know, it's almost like I'm trapped or locked into this fight or flight mode, where anything mental just totally causes physical symptoms to go haywire, the least stress, or least worry/concern. Like my body has no tolerance for or ability to deal with any kind of stress whatsoever. Just constantly tense/nervous on edge. Not restless, just braced and ready.