Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 6 of 44}

Also didn't mention, two days ago developed a mouth ulcer. I tend to bite my cheek sometimes, and thought at first that's just what it was, but realized that it's more on my gum that it's closer to my gums so I wouldn't have bitten it there. Getting better now, but tend to get them a lot at that spot, more left sided than right sided, and always in a spot where really really hurts when brushing teeth. Nothing new though, have had ulcers before. Many times, feel they are detox reaction or also from weakened immune system, sometimes when have flu like symptoms - viral, but of course nothing like that this time.

Okay, still have some of the rocking or energy moving around chaotically within me sensation. That sensation is better when walking, moving, but when moving, then everything visual seems to be strange like things look like they are rocking back and fourth on a boat on turbulent waters, etc. When not moving and have that feeling within me, objects tend to look as if they are breathing or moving in and out, or bobbing to a lesser degree that they do when walking. When moving/walking everything looks like it's bobbing, and feel tendency to fall, not necessarily in any direction, just more of a trying to keep my balance as if I were on a ship on water). When closing my eyes, tend to fall backward, no other direction if standing still.

Still have some numbness sensation in brain/head along with that tingling/crawling sensation.

Not the normal heaviness, but not the really light sensation either in body. Kind of inbetween. Feel like I notice more lightness in lower limbs and feet right now than anywhere else, that and probably brain more lightness.

Feeling somewhat in a daze at this moment, like I could just sit and stare at something, but in a way I've always been kinda like that, except in this case, feel like thoughts are empty/mind is empty. When I do tend to sit and stare (the normalcy for me), my mind is still usually going a mile a minute. So somewhat feeling detached.

Hmm, can't say exactly when, but it's probably been at least a month or so since my last mouth ulcer.

Mouth ulcer is only painful to touch, whether it be when touching it during brushing teeth or with tongue, also sensitive to hot/cold food. Spicy food also I believe would aggravate, at least has been case in past.

Usually only only get them below tooth number 21. More often bite cheek on left side than right side. Occasionally on right side, and it's almost always just when I'm in a hurry. Whether it be chewing too fast/trying to eat too fast.

Also left eye really bothering me again today, I think this was the case on Sunday as well. At that time it seemed like it was something at home, but I'm at work now and my eyes usually are better when away from home (away from pollen in the woods). Red/itchy. The white part of the eye, looks all read, blood shot, and just very itchy. Want to rub constantly, does seem to help, but very short lived.

Have had issues with pollen and my eyes though for years and years. Every summer. Seems like it started though once I stopped getting strep throat when I was about 12/13. Would get strep usually twice a year. And of course major antibiotics.

Well, the only weird thing was how it would appear and go away so quickly.

When my eye was bothering me earlier today it seemed to start up after that dazed feeling I mentioned, so it just happened to be how I was feeling at the time I posted. It lasted maybe 20 minutes. It was almost as if the dazed feeling started and then the eye and then the dazed feeling went away and then the eyes went away.

With the eys on Sunday, it was an issue where if I was upstairs in the house it went away and downstairs it would start up again. And there was nothing new plants or anything in the house that would have caused that, we had everything closed cause the air was running so it wasn't pollen from outside.

The only thing I can say for sure, and it seems to be lately with a lot of symptoms I have is that they 'Appear suddenly and disappear suddenly,' and it's very frustrating because I'm usually very intuitive as to what caused something, and some of these symptoms just seem so random.

Though the same thing can happen with pollen from outside if the screens are in and we have the door to outside is open or windows are open and my eyes bother me from pollen all it takes is closing the door/window and within a minute or two it goes away, just like that no matter how red my eye is or how itchy it is, and if I open it back up, instantly starts up again.

Last night's sleep wasn't as good as the night before, took me a little longer to get to sleep despite being really tired (not 2:30 though). Had the feeling tired early like the previous night. Slept good though once got to sleep.

Lots of rocking today, heaviness, but the feeling that I'm being pushed around by this force, and also the elevator feeling as if I were going up and down, like sinking through the floor, as if I were falling from a height, rising, then falling. Accompanied with frustration, depression, feeling like I'm going to die, feeling like I'm supposed to die, not supposed to live, like it's my time, never going to be better, never going to get over this, situation is hopeless.

But office is closed Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and much colder there tha at home, so the humidity doesn't bother me as much at work and when at home it does. So again, I would guess much of the mental/emotional anyway was worse from the humidity. Feel really tired, lethargic, just drained mentally, emotionally, physically.

John, I've got Phosphorus 30C, I can get 12c tomorrow at the healthfood store though if they have it.

Took dose of Phos 12c and noticed soon after a headache, more in the skull like the top front portion of the head/brain.

Also feel like the floor isn't rocking back and fourth nearly as much, body still has rocking sensation but floor doesn't feel like I'm on a boat on turbulent waters.

I was thinking about that a lot, and I really can't remember other than several years back when I took the Eupatorium that the homeopath recommended. I don't often get headaches often unless I'm exposed to some chemical or something and especially don't get headaches like that. It only lasted a couple hours.

The tingling and fuzzy type feeling in my head and humming noise got better too though that has come back.

Sleep was good when I was sleeping last night, but somewhat interrupted. Went to bed early and slept only an hour then couldn't sleep so got up for a couple hours and then went back to sleep and then woke up several hours later and then went back to bed again and slept for a little bit more.

Sensation of piece torn loose in the chest. Have had this before, probably several months ago. Berfore May 8, had always had a heaviness in my chest/sternum area, same place where I would feel strong emotions good or bad. And since that day, it's just emptiness there. So that's kinda why it feels like part of me is missing cause it feels like there should be something there and there isn't. Some of that feeling contributes as well to the feeling like I'm going to die, cause not used to feeling like a part of me isn't there, especially the part of me that is really able to feel emotions. So end up feeling detached from things.

The feeling of being on a boat rocking on water when walking is still better, so during movement it's good, still bad when still, whether it be sitting, standing, laying.

Have really been reliving the past too, the relationship I moved to the other state, just thinking about stuff that happened and wishing I could have done things differently and wishing things had gone differently. Things aren't the same anymore, she was my best friend and it just hasn't been the same since and miss the days when we were really close.

Hmm, I'm not sure how to explain the chest sensation, I'll have to try to think more about it again when/if I feel it again. I've had it before, just like the first time it happened. Possibly a feeling of something sore, bruised, inflammed, hanging loose. I just can't describe it, the emptiness is a more obvious symptom, that's all the time though since all this began compared to the weight/heaviness I used to have there.

Appetite is kind of the same way where I feel hungry but not really for anything in particular, don't have any cravings. Really have very little desire to drink anything.

Oh, something else yesterday after Phosphorus, felt sensations of heat/warmth, mostly in upper body, face, chest. Have had more generalized all over feeling of heat like that before.

The intense heat in the body, first remember either late last year or early this year. Like somewhere November - January. Again, had people tell me this was a typical kundalini symptom, intense sensations of heat in the body or coldness.

Lack of desire to drink is typical for me, not really anything new. Did fell like maybe was drinking a little more than normally do after the medorrhinum.

The weight/heaviness in the chest was something that was present before May 8th, and had that for years. Would be heavier if more depressed, strong emotions, an aching, sometimes like I just lost my best friend or something. More emotions than anything. That's where I would feel my emotions, the same place as the weight in chest/sternum.

Just a little bit ago, had like a sharp pain in the right shoulder blade (back), was laying down watching a movie, and all of a sudden got it and then muscles in the back (shoulder blade) started tensing/contracting as if I was tensing up those muscles, but it was involuntary, like I couldn't stop it, it was doing it on it's own. Lasted several minutes. Have had this in arms before years back when my chronic pain first started the muscle tensing up. But not in shoulder blade like that. Have had the pain in the right shoulder blade before (used to have it a lot several years ago, and have had it off and on, can't say for sure when last time, but I'm sure at least once within the last couple months), but not that involutary movement of the muscles.

Heaviness in chest/sternum is not something that I have had since May 8th, other than one time when I was really in deep despair, upset, over elationship stuff before I came back home, but then oddly enough when I had that I was feeling more grounded, less feeling like I was going to come out of body. Again would have been the end of last year. November/December. But has not been normal since May 8th. Even back 15-20 years ago had the heaviness/weight in my chest. So it's really odd for me not to feel it. At the time it was so annoying like would have done anything to get rid of it, now I wish I had it back because I would rather feel heavier like that than the total empty/lightness there now. Seems as if things go from one extreme to the other, never middle ground or balanced.

The heat sensation have been noticing more of late, probably more so since the Medorrhinum, maybe even the Psorinum but really noticed it since phosphorus.

Probably feeling more nostalgic, thinking to past, wishing things were back the way they used to be, feelings of loneliness, sadness, mostly just lots of thoughts of past and wanting to go back to those days when things were better (of course didn't feel they were better back then). Feeling like I've changed not for the better in the past couple years. Feeling like I lost connections I really miss, relationships, work at the car dealership for 7 years, people I worked with there were like family.

Family is coming from out of town and having a big get together at our house here, and not looking forward to it, hate large crowds, lots of people, too much energy for me, too much stress, draining. Just want to run away, hide, avoid people, even though I care about them, just don't want to see them, cause it's just like too much for me. Don't want to be alone either, but prefer just a few people or one close person to the company of many, and sometimes just like to have people around, but still be alone, like the feeling of knowing someone is around or there is enough too sometimes.

Yes, never liked big gatherings, always worried what other people thought of me, always felt like I had to be doing something great, like I'm a loser if my life isn't perfect. Everybody always wants to know what you're doing, are you dating anyone, etc. etc. so there's this stigma of having to prove yourself so to speak or I feel that way anyway. Always feel like everyone else is all so much happier and doing more important things than me.

Also just feel overvwhelmed (in any large crowds, or lots of noise, things going on). Desire to escape, leave, be in solitude. I get accused of being anti social, but it's just too much for me. When it was just my chronic pain that was an issue I would always have a lot more pain when lots of people/company were around, again too much for me, draining, overwhelming. Always having to put on a happy face in company when not feeling happy inside. Telling people that things are wonderful and I'm great when don't feel that way. Wondering if people are analyzing me etc.

Around 8:00 body got light. Rocking really started up again and the sensations when moving too. Almost like when you see a video where the camera is moving all around, kind of wobbly back and fourth that's how things look.

Was really really bad, the lightness and feeling as if made of air and like my body isn't solid or structured, like its some fluid substance and at one point when walking it was as if I would sink down into the floor, one of my legs. Felt like my body was mush.

Then later, around 10:00 I got a sensation of intense heat in my feet, followed by a headache, not like before but more like a throbbing headache, as if pressure in the cranium, followed by a feeling like everything got quiet, as if everything stopped, like time stopped and I was going to die or something, as if my body was going to stop. Then all of a sudden got all this mucous coating over my throat. This is just really crazy.

It does seem that the tingling/crawling in the head gets worse when symptoms are worse, gets more intense, like energy or current running through my head. Also at first it was just that my feet were really sweating/perspiring but then also my hands.