Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 27 of 44}

I should add to that, not only just keeping cool, but always had trouble with not letting things bother me to the point where I feel like I can't function normally in life because I'm so caught up in thinking/worrying about what somebody said or did.

Also feel like my appetitie has been very ravenous lately. There for a while was feeling like I wasn't as hungry in the evenings, but feel like I'm definitely really hungry, but still much more hungry during the day than evening. 11:00 A.M. - 3:00 seems worst times.

I'm really thinking Ignatia. What do you think? It has so much of the sensitiveness, touchy, irritated at the least contradiction, easily offended, defensive, unusual tendency to be frightened (constantly), desire to be alone, tendency toward sulking, self-pity, focusing on things going wrong in one's life, changeable disposition. Tendency toward actions during hysteria which make him proud only later to regret.

That happens to me so much. I will overreact and do something during a moment when defensive and it seems like it's the right thing to do and then afterwards I realize that I did an extremely foolish thing.

The unrequited love aspects of Ignatia, dwelling on relationships that aren't healthy, as in the materia medica where it describes 'women who fall in love with married men, know they shouldn't, but do so anyway and can't get them out of their mind.'

Okay, so do you think all the emotional stuff needs to be cleared before even taking any homeopathics? Like nothing will work until then?

Okay, not sure I can get 200c, will have to order, probably take a couple days.

Will think more about the last incident and see if I can come up with anything and post back.

Ordered 1M too just so I have it on hand in case needed.

With last incident, I got short, went to extremes, imagining/thinking the worst. Got quiet, wanted to withdraw. Was anticipating a lecture, like 'Steve, just stand there be quiet and listen, take it on the chin, don't say anything, don't make waves.' Inward emotional pain. Felt as if I was being attacked, ego/self-esteem hurt.

Pretty sure I didn't get as light in the body and don't think I had more rocking than normal which seems to happen. No stomach nausea or growling from nervous stomach. It helped just writing about it online when I posted to you too, took away some of the anger I think.

Had a dream last night that I almost died, went to the hospital because I was feeling bad and the one doctor was scrambling to find something that would help me and he ended up injecting something into my muscles/legs. He called it cardiomyopathy which was odd, because cardio involves heart. I remember staying alive through sheer will.

Also scene with parents where they were upset at first because of the $1,000 bill, but understood and were sympathetic when they found out I almost died.

Something else, in past, hasn't happened recently, probably not since May 8th, used to think a lot about being killed by having my throat slit with a knife. And I would cringe from this thought and would literally feel sensations going through my nerves/nervous system just at the thought of this. Totally different sensation than when I had fear of being assasinated.

Yeah, should have thought to order PH-AC 1LM while I was at it. Since I want to get that one and am going to have to do a new order, any other remedies I should get to make it worthwhile, shipping wise? I didn't order the other magnet/electricity ones we talked about. How about Nux Vomica? Have 30c and 200c, but maybe not good since had them before May 8th.

Looked at the Reversed Kent's Repertory online for PH-AC, and was amazed to see how much does really fit me with that remedy, plus last night I was studying more on Ph-ac and felt later after I was posting about Ignatia that maybe we need to try Ph-ac in higher potency because it did bring a very good reaction at first, and must say, have not noticed anything new that I've never had before, no new symptoms.

John, also, noticed in Hering's Guiding Symptoms of Nux Vomica:

Sensation of heaviness of body, alternating with sensation of lightness.

(DEFINITELY THE CASE FOR ME)

Also forgot to mention, one day when I was looking for a remedy for my grandma, I came up with Tuberculinum and usually she is very skeptical about the indications for remedies and feel like nothing fits her, but I started reading and she was finishing sentences for me all through out, like she knew what it was going to say because she said and I quote, 'Oh my gosh Steve, that remedy sounds exactly like me, in every single aspect.'

So, I'm thinking that I might also have that miasm.

She took 30c and normally she overreacts to everything, so I was surprised when she didn't complain at all about feeling really bad after the remedy.

When I questioned her she didn't really feel like there was much change, but in conversation she did mention how it seemed her bone pains that come on at night and keep her awake were somewhat better. This lasted maybe a few days. And then several weeks later (she only took one dose of the Tuberculinum and nothing else) she mentioned to me that something unusual started happening where she felt like as soon as she would sit down she would fall asleep, whether she was tired or not. Now that side of the family has a history of being good dozers, we sit down to watch tv or read a book and end up falling asleep, but it seemed like it was more unusual than that for her.

Painting again today at the office, started getting a headache not too long after, feeling like I can't breathe, some nausea, not major though, pretty typical responses. Seems like rocking and elevator sensation may have gotten a little worse from it as well.

Also feel like much tiredness, apathy, no desire to do anything came on, not sure if as a result of paint/chemicals or just normal response for me. I was feeling somewhat energetic/motivated (not like me) this morning which lasted only for a very short while. Could be related to working on things that were frustrating, feeling like not making any progress on certain projects.

John, something else came to mind the other day, just out of the blue. For some reason I thought back to the you asking me about the one aphorism on Mesmerism and how it applies to me and remembered that back when my chronic pain started, I was just new to alternative medicine and really hadn't used homeopathy much and didn't know anything about it, was looking at all kinds of different therapies and stuff, and don't know if you're familiar with Hulda Clark, 'Cure For All Diseases/Cancer' where she promotes using a zapper that she tells you in her book how to build, I think it uses a nine volt battery and you have wires going to copper pipes which you hold so that you get the electrical frequency into the body to kill pathogens. Well, I made one and used it, and thinking about my tingling sensation in my feet and body, it almost reminds me of similar feelings I had when I used that. Very stupid thing also to do because of how sensitive I am. And went to a practitioner one time too who utilized RIFE which is similar and they program the machine a certain frequencies to target certain pathogens.

Just an observation, and maybe I'm crazy, but it seems to me like there are a lot of cases (more than usual) of people complaining about being dizzy, and having tinnitus, panic attacks, etc. Very strange.

Also noticed that when my head is really light, when it almost feels like it's not even there the muscles in the rest of my body, particularly arms are able to be flexed/contracted. Since my chronic pain started and all muscles in a constant state of tension/contraction, I am unable to fully tense my muscles like you would do if you were tensing up your muscles to show off to somebody. When head is light, my muscles are able to be flexed of my own will.

Yeah it was just a feeling of being motivated to clean my desk off, get stuff done, accomplish things.

As far as when last felt motivated, would have to say it did happen to me already at the dealership, not sure when, but probably a year ago or so. I get motivated to do other things, but not really for things that I don't want to do. And this was something I didn't really want to do and I felt energetic.

Usually I get no sense of satisfaction from seeing something I've accomplished and this was the case here. Normally for me it's helping someone, seeing someone feeling better or their life changed for the better because of something I've done that brings me satisfaction. So this was also different for me in that respect where I saw something I accomplished as as positive.