Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 38 of 44}

This morning, feeling very light.

Head very light. If you were to divide my head in half horizontally, the top half (forehead and top of head) it feels like most of the weight is there in that part, the rest seem extremely gone, almost to the point of not even feeling it or as not being there if I were to shake my head or something. Seems like I feel the top part because of some congestion, almost like sinus congestion of the brain instead of the sinuses.

Along with this, had diarrhea this morning before leaving for work and then I would say 20 minutes later at work I had diarrhea again, this time though it was pretty much watery, not much solid at all (first time more solid).

Have some coughing.

Some sharp pain in the right kidney, not constant.

Sharp pain in the left arm, outside of arm. I would say about 1 1/2 to 2 inches down the left arm from the shoulder. A particular spot where the sharp pain is, not shoooting down the arm. The spot where the pain is, is very sore to the touch.

Woke up last night to goto the bathroom and I was still half asleep because I hardly remember it, but I remember that I had some dreams, but I just can't remember what they were.

Why do I have the feeling that the dreams that I don't remember would be most important to breaking this case open? Just a hunch.

Sensation of a shooting pain going down back in the left kidney region. Like starting at the top of kidney region and shooting down. Didn't last long. Quick shooting pain. Came and went. Then a little later again. Think it happened 3 times.

Sensation as if I was going to have diarrhea again but quickly passed.

Later, more of that achy flu like feeling. Minor headache in forehead.

Slight itching in right ear, followed by sensation of fullness in same ear starting to occur. Then headache includes temples and after that increased sensation of fullness in right ear.

Mucuous draining onto throat.

Headache in temples seemed to shift back to forehead but then back to temples again later and then back to forehead.

Continued feeling of something in the right ear. At first like a plug, but hard to say exactly, just feels like something is in there.

Crawling sensation on top of head. Slight sensation of burning on top of head all the way in back.

Sensation in parts as if hair were standing on end, you know as if electrified or something. (Have had that before)

Well, it does all seem a bit unusual, but I do feel like it's more of a bring stuff to the surface. The draining/mucous my feeling is related to the sinuses, which I've always had a generalized sinus congestion, people often ask me (based on my voice) if I'm sick or have a cold even when I don't because I sound sinusy. Get that from my dad's side. He and his sister get very bad sinus infections, so does his mom and his father who died often had respiratory issues.

I also feel like I've had kidney weakness for years, but the only thing is, I've never really over the years had that many symptoms of such, like the pains in the kidneys now. Is it possible that even from childhood these issues were suppressed if it was an inherited issue? Weakness in kidneys from parents? I feel the bedwetting when younger was kidney related, but again, until my chronic pain, can't really say I had symptoms of kidney issues and even then it wasn't like I had all these sharp pains like now.

The flu like symptoms, I always seemed to get that when my body was detoxifying from trying various treatments (mostly non-homeopthic) over the years.

Prior to chronic pain did have lots of diarrhea, so that is definitely nothing new.

My other thought is that maybe this is all just my body's hypervigilant response (like an autoimmune reaction) and somewhat preventing from seeing the real picture because of all the acute issues coming through that aren't really the main issue/culprit.

A little more twitching of the left finger on right hand. Also seems to happen when have my finger bent back (position like when you use the scroll wheel on a mouse to scroll down to the bottom of a page). I tend to keep my finger in that position when clicking on the button too. But when the twitching does start happening it doesn't seem to matter what position it's in. Whether I have it laying flat or go to move it, there seems to be a trembling/shaking that goes along with it. Again though, feel it's something nerve impulse related.

Meant to say pointer finger of right hand not left finger of right hand.

Was thinking about something on my way home from work today, how often I think (while I'm driving) that I wish there were somebody behind me chasing me and I would have to try to out run them outmaneuver them, which kind of contradicts the feeling of being pursued and not wanting to be, but this is more of wanting an adrenaline high/rush, wanting to jump into action to do something extreme.

Tends to go along with all the other scenarios I create in my mind though. Imaginging things better than they are, seeing things going the perfect way I want them to, with different people, different circumstances, different things in life that I'm not happy about.

I also think other people's energy and my sensitivity to it is the reason why when I'm in person I don't like to talk about myself at all. In fact people often tell me that I am mysterious, because I keep so much hidden. And I do often go to great lengths to not have to talk about myself to another person, I'll avoid questions, answer a little and then turn it back to the other person to take the focus off me (so as not to feel in the hot seat so to speak). On the same vein of the energy aspect, I feel it's that I can't deal with a person's response to what I say. Like if I sense someone having a negative response to something I've said it affects me very strongly. It affects me here too, but not nearly as bad as being RIGHT THERE and being able to FEEL IT very strongly. That's another reason most of the time I will tell people what they want to hear or what I know would be the best answer for me to give in any situation so as not to open myself up to any negative vibes from anyone. And I don't like to lie, I try to be always as honest as possible, but I also will tell half truths when I feel it's necessary to protect myself from feeling any negative energy.

Been okay today, not as bad as yesterday with the storms. Didn't have a lot of contact today with busy situations or anything that would make me sensitive so hard to say. The sensitivity that I mentioned to thunderstorms is not because I dislike thunderstorms. I do like them, I just don't like the energy that's in the air, the tension that you can feel mounting as it gets closer or gets worse (building up).

I think around noon today there has been an increase in the tingling sensation in the head and feet, almost like I started receiving energy again. It had calmed down some for awhile, but seems like something is going on again.

Objects still seem to be jumping. This seems like it has increased some. Jumping or moving. Seems worse out of the corner of my eye, just noticed it a bit a go out of the corner of my left eye, but really can happen too when I'm looking right at something. But things seem to move horizontally and vertically.

You mean as far as something that I might overreact to or a situation that would test my sensitivity?

I was actually the only person in the office today.

My boss did call and there was one instance where she said something that I thought maybe I could have taken offence to, but sort of blew it off, didn't let it bother me. But can't really tell yet if that was an untypical reaction or not because there are times when things my mom says doesn't bother me either (things that you would think would) and then the next time something little will bother me.

The only real unusual experience was with a chinest person who called me on the phone today (home). My first apartment in PA, I would get this one person calling me night and day asking me to accept collect charges because I'm his long lost brother (and it wasn't my brother and the phone company told me they couldn't do anything about it). Then when I was in Indiana, I had this fax machine that kept calling my number all hours of the night. And just for good measure (note the humor, and sarcasm) I have a chinese person who calls me here, most of the time it's on my answering machine when I get home, (other times its spanish people having a conversation back and fourth on my machine, and who knows how they though I was the one they wanted to talk to), but tonight I actually got the call and the person just kept calling me back and didn't understand that I wasn't the person they were looking for and also only spoke chinese, didn't speak anything else. So I was only mildly irritated by that, but no unusual reactions. And I just stopped answering my phone and they soon got the hint.

Woke up from dream, so I thought I'd post it right away before I forget.

(Twice now I woke up during the night, I bet this is a sign that things are settling, I kinda of feel like it)

I was being arrested for something I don't even know what and I was really upset because I had proof that I didn't do whatever they were charging me with, so finally I did convince them to at least let me free so I could get the proof and they did. Still I could tell they didn't believe me. Not that they were letting me go, just taking the cuffs off so I could go get the proof or look for something.

Then next thing I know I'm seeing new vials for the Brain section for those kits that I have. There were a bunch but the one I remember seeing had something to do with IODINE metabolism in the Brain.

With Iodine you normally think of the thyroid, so I did a quick search and looks like the only thing I can really find is that in developmental stages of the brain development, an iodine deficiency can inhibit brain growth.

Some mouth ulcers I think started yesterday in area of middle of chin. Couldn't have bitten myself there, so I know it wasn't that. But again, have had lots of ulcers in the past, so nothing new, just old stuff coming out.

Things have definitely settled down today, hasn't been any changing symptoms today so far like previously. No headaches, flu like symptoms, pains in kidneys, no diarrhea etc.

I was thinking about Belladonna today again because of the suddeness that symptoms seem to come on and leave. Kent talks about the hypersensitive reaction. And just generally the sensitivity.

Still no symptoms today like I've been having the past couple days. Only the rocking/swaying, feeling of being on an airplane experiencing turbulence, feeling like the floor is bouncing up and down under my feet or raising and lowering.

I thought of a way to describe the lightness or sense of not responding to gravity properly.

I'm sure you've swung a baseball bat and felt it's normal heaviness, then you go and pick up a few more bats and swing those along with the original bat and man is it ever heavy. But then when you drop those other bats and go back to your original you can swing it like it weighs nothing. This is EXACTLY like that, only my problem seems to be that that initial lightness because of having just been swinging something much more heavy right before it never wears off. I keep that lightness all the time and I'm sure it's not that my body weighs less, I just never seem to revert back to the feeling of the original weight of that bat before swinging all the others with it.

Was at the chiropractor today and he didn't find hiatal hernia this time like last time so doesn't think it's that that's causing the pain under my left scapula. He did comment on that fact that my left trapezius muscle was extremely tight.

The pain that is referred to the front has changed slightly. It's more of a sensation you get from rubbing something like ICY HOT on your muscles that menthol type effect but it's pain, still burning.

Always better in the morning and gets worse as the day goes on. In fact this morning up till 10:30 or so didn't even notice the pain in the back (under left scapula). The pain in the front was still there, but doesn't bother me as much when the other pain isn't referring extra pain to that area.

Well, yesterday had supper with my parents. And I can't say there was really anything that happened that upset me. Now my mom I don't think really made any comments or anything that would have upset me, but felt like I was actually fairly positive during the visit despite having the feeling of rocking/swaying etc. Almost like despite that, I didn't let it ruin my visit with my parents, I wasn't depressed/miserable the whole time. I was still bothered/concerned about the symptoms but kept it in the background. Actually went away feeling like it was a positive visit and felt like my parents were going to think the same thing.

Only one time when my mom asked me how I would feel if Annette would visit (my mom and Annette really get along well and my mom wants her to come and I think she probably will sometime). And didn't feel real comfortable discussing that, but that was the most uncomfortable time.

Annette and I do still talk and have felt like I don't react quite as much to her saying she's gonna do this or do that (stuff that would have upset me before because of being out with other guys and stuff).

Still feeling though like I don't quite take as much interest in my own family as compared to strangers or friends / co-workers. Like with strangers/coworkers etc I will listen to stories about their lives with intent, but with family my mind tends to wander and have thoughts like, 'I don't care, just shut up, or whatever, just stop talking.' And I don't REALLY feel that way, but I get those thoughts in my head. Sometimes with strangers too, but mostly just apathetic towards my own family.

Last night seemed like increased sexual desire again, almost like I was able to see to the extent that the remedy really was working in that respect. And it was weird how that night when I woke up twice that I knew the remedy effects had stopped. I almost surprised myself the next day when I didn't have any of those recent symptoms (still nothing today again).

Slept in really late this morning, and then had breakfast late, probably waited too long, cause I'm really feeling 'low blood sugarish.' I find that the longer I wait to eat the worse it gets, like eating doesn't always make it better. If I eat right away as soon as I start to feel that way then it helps. But if i have the low blood sugar symptoms for too long then it takes a while for the symptoms to improve and I usually have to eat a lot more for symptoms to subside than if I eat early. Obviously the best situation is to eat even before symptoms come on.