Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 32 of 44}

I would say the heaviness/lightness alternating has been worse since in my apartment and was the same way when I was alone in my apartment in Indiana. But happened at my parents too, so I don't know. It's definitely been happening since Indiana though, so if I had to guess, somewhere around October/November 2005. So basically since the May 8th incident. And most of the time it's lightness, so it's only once in awhile that I feel like I'm starting to get heavier and then immediately lightness after that. I noticed it in the shower this morning, where I starting to feel heavier and then just like that I got really light.

The pain under the right scapula (it was originally right side, even though it's left side now, the left side had never bothered me like this, it was only the right side normally) being bad somewhere around when my chronic pain started which would be around January 98. Now, what I can't remember is if I had it before then and I'm sorta thinking I did. Which would put us back to possibly Summer of 97 when I was still on Accutane/High Dose Vitamin A and the Naturopath I was seeing at the time was thinking Liver/Gallbladder related. My health went rapidly down hill after I took Accutane (horrible pains in the back, area of the kidneys, one time to the point of being on my hands and knees crying in pain, joints got dry and started cracking, popping, joint pains, depression, nausea, stopped sweating, feeling of heaviness as of congestion in the body. My hands would turn bright red when I let them hang down, somebody asked me one time if I had problems with cholesterol or was on medication for it, definitely affected something circulatory, started getting spider veins, had some headaches).

Several times where felt heaviness and then went back to lightness, the time this morning, then prior to that would be after taking the Phos-Ac 30c, then prior to that was the remedy that I made, where I felt heavier and only lasted a short while and then prior to that would be when I took the Sulphur 6c, though not nearly as pronounced with the Sulphur. Something else interesting I thought of was that I first noticed heaviness, fullness in feet this morning before anything else.

There are times when I am walking if I'm not paying attention to my feet that I get scared because I have the sensation like I'm going to come out of my body. I get that feeling of my energy going higher up in my body and along with that comes like this feeling in the stomach that's nerve related. Not sure how to describe it other than something shocking that happened, as if the energy was pulling away from it. I guess a pulling away feeling. Still something nerve related though, just can't describe it.

Best way to give you the location would be from the left breast, go down and to the right a little bit to that hollow spot just below the left breast, that spot is very very tender/sore and is where the pain radiates to from the back. So if you go in a straight line to the back it would be at that spot under the left scapula.

And I guess it's more of a gnawing pain, burning,, tearing, sore type of pain. And it's pretty constant. Started getting worse today around 12:00 and been bad since then.

The part in the front when it radiates to the front, it's almost like there is a piece of something in there, like a plug or something. And it's the pain that forms that plug or whatever it is sensation. Like the pain is readiating together to make a feeling of a solid object.

Had an unusual experience tonight. Usually go to see my grandma on Thursdays, and when I left tonight I started feeling really sad/unhappy like this was the last time I was going to see her and felt like I was going to cry. Then on my way home felt like I was getting lighter, also with lightness in the head and again sensation of something draining out of the head, well, I don't actually feel it draining from the head, but I feel like a coating on the throat as of mucous and I sense that it's draining from my head or sinuses or something.

Also have that far away feeling, feeling as if my body is getting thinner and thinner.

This afternoon, I would say maybe around 3:00 or so, I started getting a sensation of energy in my head. I get this sensation when A.) Someone is doing something to me energetically as in Reiki or Psychic work, if someone was dowsing and asking questions about me I get it. It's a tingling in the head and that started up this afternoon and has been going most of the day/evening. It seems like it's a good thing (like good energy whatever it is), but I'm not so sure it's a good thing for me, almost like it's too much for me, but not sure.

Something else I thought of too, was that even long before all this began, maybe a year or so after my chronic pain, I felt like my skin was getting thinner. I didn't really think about that until now with the feeling like my body is disappearing and wonder if something had started then already, not sure.

And have had similar experiences (in particular when very young) where I would be really sad and cry when I left relatives that we were visiting whom we rarely get to see because they live hours away. I don't know that I've ever had such an intuitive feeling like this before though that I wasn't going to see my grandma again. A little different than my having thoughts of or imaging people dead. So I don't know what to say about that.

Worse when sitting, better when stretching muscles, stretching/leaning or to the right or left. Pain in front worse on breathing in and out just because it puts pressure right there.

John, also seems to be better first thing in the morning. So far today (10:00) it's pretty good. But my guess is around 12:00 it's going to get worse. And it's one of those things where I can gradually feel it getting worse.

Last couple days been really drained. Having a hard time getting up in the morning, really exhausted. Slept through my alarm twice and not getting to be any later than I was before. This was typical for me before May 8th, having trouble getting up in the morning. And even during the day just feeling really drained and tired. So nothing new here.

I would say slight bit of pain around 10:30, worse around 11:00, starting to ache or gnaw. Some of the burning and plug like feeling in the front, without radiating, seems like it radiates more from the back as the day goes on as the pain in the back increases.

Going back to your asking about the astrological influences, I remembered my one homeopathic book has charts in the back of it for different planetary constitutions. And depending what day of the week you were born you can tell which one you are. I just happened to be Moon, which has tendencies to have problems with Brain/Nerves/Pineal. They are very intuitive, receptive to energies, too much so and seem to lack the natural protection against outside energies/forces. Also tend to have problems with Glands (Pineal, Thyroid, Adrenal, etc.) and emotionally, guess which imbalance is primary for them - FEAR!!

I don't have the list with me, but some of the remedies they categorize this consitution with are Aethusa, Anacardium, Phos, Sepia, Stramonium, China Off, Hyoscyamus, Kali Brom, can't remember the others. Anyway, just thought it was interesting how well it seemed to fit me.

Don't really notice it much at home, but then I usually don't sit at the computer at home either. It does seem better when I'm not sitting at the computer. Start work at 9, but the odd thing is though why it wouldn't have started sooner after I started this job. So not sure.

So don't ever notice the pain during sleep or even much when I'm sitting on the futon at home, more back support, these chairs are low and only supports halfway up the back, so it could be that too.

Not sure what current weight is, used to be around 180 and I'm 5'7' very broad shoulders.

Something else I didn't mention and this isn't anything new, has been going on since my chronic pain, so back since 98 as well, but abdomen is very bloated. It's not fat/weight because if I don't eat, completely fast, the bloating in abdomen pretty much completely goes away, but sometimes it's to the point I almost look like I'm pregnant. So I'm thinking Gallbladder, possibly food allergies.

I know that names aren't really important in homeopathy, but I'm just wondering if this isn't Cushing's or something Hyperadrenal related. It would all certainly fit, the thinning of the skin, high blood pressure, blood sugar issues, dizziness, sweating.

Still having sensation of some kind of energy being sent to me or something, as if I were receiving a distance reiki treatment. Started up again this afternoon. Really odd.

Well, I feel like it's something outside myself, but I do know it's the exact sensation I get if I do get some kind of energy work done.

One time an energy healer told me that there was some kind of powerful vortex around me.

Okay, will do.

The pain below the left breast in the front in that hollow spot. I thought of a way to describe part of the strange sensation.

You know that feeling you get when you're in a pool and you feel the water hitting you from the jets. You know how it has kind of a rolling/rippling feeling. Well, the pain kind of rolls like water from jets in a pool. Along with the pain being a burning pain.

Well, if it's starting in the front and not radiating from the back, it seems like it goes in a little bit, but not very deep, there's still the sensation of a plug or something small like a small bullet size in there. Definitely worse when it comes from the back and radiates to the front as opposed to the front going to the back. So I would say not real deep.

Okay, took Lachesis last night, I tried to write everything down in order they happened:

First something with my head, I think it was light for a little bit and then turned into a headache, a little bit different than ones I've had in the past, but still seems like it was a pressure type headache.

Increased tingling in the feet, the electrical current sensation.

Pain in the stomach, like I've had before. Lasted maybe half an hour to 45 minutes.

Sensation of the body being turned to the right/left, mostly toward the right. I've had this sensation before, not sure if it's a vertigo, but feels like the body is being spun but only part way.

Pains in the muscles, mostly the upper right thigh, in the middle. Later the left. Kind of a cramp type pain. Can't say that specific area has bothered me before at least with that type of pain, but with all the muscle pains and stuff I've had over the years, nothing new I'm sure.

Worsened the pain in the right groin. (This is the pain that started before all my other muscle symptoms spread throughout my body. It is a pain like there, gnawing, like something were inflammed, or swollen in the right groin. Sometimes even a sensation as if something were gangrene or rotting or something. Before all my other muscle pains, the tendon there tensed up/contracted and then stayed that way and then started spreading throughout the body. At any rate, the Lachesis, definitely worsened that. That pain of course was before May 8th, about 7 years before).

Itching sensation in abdomen on right side above the left hip, maybe two inches or so. There was also a split second where I thought I felt a sensation of warm water rolling/flowing over that spot, but mostly it was the itching.

Tension in the muscles - nothing new.

Sensation for a short while of the feet (when I was sitting and had my legs stretched out, so the feet were resting on the heels with the bottoms of the feet not touching ground) being pulled toward the floor.

The cramp type pain in the right thigh turned from feeling like a cramp to more feeling like it was nerve related and feeling as if the nerves were destroyed. I used to get the feeling of my nerves being destroyed with my chronic pain. It would be a random thing, where one day I would feel fine (still have the pain) but the next day it would feel like somebody had totally destroyed my nerves, like they were ripped up, like I was ready to snap or have a nervous breakdown or something.

Left leg on the outside (thigh area) pain along the nerve, not sure if like a sciatica type pain, but definitely a nerve related pain.

Prickling in bottoms of feet to the point of being very painful. Do you know the sensation when you put hydrogen peroxide on something and it does that bubbling and fizzing and the little things/sparks or whatever jumping and hitting your skin and it stings. It's exactly like that only stronger.

Then pain in the left hip.

Got very tired last night too very early. Slept fairly well.

Dreams where I shot a gun and woke my parents up in the early morning and went and hid, was afraid they would find me and then they found me and my dad yelled at me and said it was all because of my low self esteem.

Think there might have been more dreams, but can't really remember.

Also increased thirst last night after remedy.

Well, my dad doesn't usually yell unless he's really upset. That is his last resort, when he feels like it's time to lay down the law or something. My dad is usually pretty calm about things. Like he will make snide remarks and stuff, be very cynical, but he doesn't yell often.

Also dream, something about my grandma was filling up her car with gas, we were at the gas station. And I remember her asking me how she knows that somebody else can't pump gas and she gets charged for it. And I said, 'Well, you can see that when the light on the pumps is flashing yellow it's not your account anymore, but when it's green it's yours.' And it was yellow so she knew that it wasn't charging her account anymore. Really strange.